Ever waited so long that you lost interest and said no when he finally proposed?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

sassy411 :  yes.  I also think as women we give our all, too soon. We make the concessions, move in, don’t speak up, become a wife without the title…then are surprised/upset when years go by and no marriage proposal is forthcoming…  

 

Post # 18
Member
1010 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I actually had this conversation with a woman but the roles were reversed, she had just broken up and still needed time to herself and her son when she met a man who wanted more than friendship. Well fast forward 4-5 years and she wants the relationship and he doesn’t, I told her that ship done sailed and to let cut it loose. He wants something different now than what he wanted then, it sucks but that is how is is. 

Post # 19
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

This makes sense. You can’t spend years breaking someone then act surprised when they’re broken. He wanted her to adjust to not having commitment and so she did- what’s his problem? 

Post # 21
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

He was with her for “several years” presumably saying that he would. So I don’t care if she WAS punishing him, but it is infinitesimally more likely that she got “un-ready” as he demanded. 

Post # 23
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

My niece, who just got married in October, laid it all out on the table when she and her boyfriend began feeling serious. 

She simply told him that she was looking for a relationship where they would get married and have a family within a reasonable time frame, and if he didn’t want that too, they could call it all off and just stay friends. 

He said Sure! and now they are married 7 months and she is preggers.

Post # 25
Member
2427 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

clec :  Thanks! She is 29 now, she must have been 26 or 27 when they first started.

That “shit or get off the pot” speech can cut out a lot of wasted time!

Post # 27
Member
358 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t say this was based on waiting a long time but I was in a relationship with a guy who just didn’t treat me that great, flirted with other women, etc. And for some reason I wanted so badly for him to say to me, “I love you! You’re the one!” and stop texting other girls. I think it was just the competitive nature in me. 

Anyway, I got fed up with it and I think he sensed that I was losing interest and that’s when he really turned it on and tried so hard, showered me with gifts, invited me on trips. I dumped him. He begged me to come back and asked me to marry him. I said no. No regrets.

I think that happens a lot. The woman finally gives up and that’s when the guy realizes he is about to lose something great. And it’s too late! 

Post # 28
Member
6299 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Good for her!

I remember reading about that one ‘Bee who had been with her guy for so long and when he finally proposed she said no because she no longer wanted to marry him. It was sad but she was really clear in her post and I think she came back later and shared that she was still glad she’d made the choice she did.

Post # 29
Member
733 posts
Busy bee

I’m of the unpopular opinion that the waiting game is bullshit. Any woman in waiting can just as easily propose to him and cut the nonsense. This is 2018. Women are seeking this non-existent fairytale, but do nothing towards achieving the marriage goal themselves. Why would you say no or break up with the man of your dreams instead of just taking charge, I completely don’t get it. 

Post # 30
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Why did she stay with him and waste her own as well his time if she didn’t want to marry him anymore?

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