(Closed) Ever wish the Fiance was more involved in wedding planning?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It is frustrating. Sometimes I do honestly need help too. Mine has no interest in most of the details and doesn’t even really want to hear about what I’ve planned. It hurts my feelings at times because I want him to be excited or at least care about OUR day a little bit, but he really doesn’t.

Post # 5
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sometimes, yes.  Sometimes, no.  I know he is excited so that’s not an issue.  But, sometimes, I’ll pick something and at the time he will say “sure” and then later, after I buy whatever, he’s like “Eh, it’s okay.”  Or he will say he doesn’t like it the best.  That is FRUSTRATING lol.  

Post # 6
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

So tru.. i actually thought i was the only one…I could have 16 colours and he will be indifferentlol..Says he studying the honeymoon (okkkk) But this is my dream i wanna have a GORGEOUS, WELL-PLANNED, BEAUTIFUL, FUN wedding . Its the 2 of us rite???

Would love to c some sort of excitement when i mention INVIS, PROGRAMS, TABLE DECOR,ETC… sigh. I feel ur “pain” Lauren10.8.11

Post # 8
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I just try not to talk about stuff unless I’m super excited because he just isn’t interested. I think of it like if he was obessing to me over every single detail of something I don’t care about, like his fantasy football league. So I try to only selectively share and keep it brief and then I gush about details to my sister. I’m hoping it all pays off on wedding day and he tells me it was a great day and everything looked great.

Post # 9
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

The grass is not necessary greener on the other side.  Let me tell you it’s just as frustrating with an involved groom!  Mine likes to be very involved..and he thinks we’re behind in the planning!  With the invitations, I had planned to send them out 2-3 months in advance…he thinks it’s too late and we should send it out 4 months in advance!  At 4 months, I was still in school and taking my finals, so the last thing I wanted to do was think about our invitation…he started stressing out and going groomzilla on me.  It’s funny now..but I almost wanted to kill him.  Then our favors, we had agreed on a design for our wine glasses…the vendor decided to change part of our design throwing off some of our graphics (no longer cohesive), he wants them here already so he had me convinced to approve the new design (I wasn’t 100% happy with it..but he wants them done already.  We still have 2.5 months and it will take them 10 days to get them done..so we definitely have enough time.  Luckily the other projects he’s working on hasn’t been too bad..though he did spend 4 days painting/sanding 4 hangers and is a perfectionist when it comes to stuff he’s working on!

Post # 10
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

it’s fine that I’m doing more of the work, his job is way busier than mine. I’m lucky that I have a lot of free time at work. plus, he writes all the checks!

Post # 11
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s better to have them less involved, but I am kind of a control freak. My fiance is excited about our wedding but I find that our opinions don’t always coincide (he thinks our all-white flowers are boring) and so I’d kind of rather him not care so I can get what I like! As long as he’s excited about the marriage that’s what matters, party planning is more of a girl thing.

Post # 12
Member
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Haha OP, do we have the same FI? Just kidding. I totally agree. What I don’t get is that brides have this stigma…that we’re all crazy control freaks that care soooooo much about the wedding.

Now that I’m actually in it I’m like no. We are not all like that, but it takes a lot of work to make a day happen. We don’t all have to have everything be perfect, but decisions do have to be made…and even if you can be decisive that’s a LOT of decisions to be made to do it all yourself.

Sometimes I think about what would happen if I were to stop doing everything. The wedding wouldn’t happen lol. I think unfortunately it’s just the way a lot of grooms are, no matter which way you look at it. We’re getting close to our wedding so most of the big stuff is done. It was rough, but we got through it. I got aggravated, but I’ve pretty much accepted it now. My Fiance just isn’t that guy to be gung ho for something that his mind just doesn’t comprehend. All the actual work involved and details go right above his head.

Post # 13
Member
1660 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have struggled with this. We have a 3.5 month engagement and are planning a wedding that is 2000+ miles away for ~100 people. So I feel like there’s a ton to do.

My sister has been a huge help (though she lives in another state). Fiance, not so much. However, I know he is prone to anxiety and most anything wedding related just overwhelms him. We looked over the to do list together and tried to assign him things to do, but there wasn’t a lot he felt he could do on his own, or that I wanted him to do on his own.

I was getting a little resentful, but we’ve come to an agreement that I will do the majority of the wedding stuff and he will do the majority of the house stuff (laundry, yardwork, dishes, etc.). I’m fine with that arrangement.

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