(Closed) Every feel like brides are trying too hard?

posted 8 years ago in Decor
Post # 17
Member
2446 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@KCKnd2:  You definitely shouldn’t have told me this. Now how do I set up the soft lights around the piano so that it photographs elegantly for the various blogs I am submitting to? Also need to find male model to play piano.

Post # 18
Member
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

Of course we try too hard. I obsessed over which color glitter to put on my bm’s shoes for like, two hours the other day. I came to the bee and made a post and a poll and asked like, 10 peoples’ opinions and everything.

Obsessing. Over GLITTER COLOR. *headmeetdesk* I just figure that as long as I don’t turn Bridezilla (I promise I havent… I asked people really nicely what they thought about my glitter decisions) and that I can laugh at myself for being a little ridiculous sometimes, then it’s gonna be ok 😛

Post # 19
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2446 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@KCKnd2:  +1. The “in” thing right now is rustic weddings in barns. It’s beautiful and lovely until you realize that a million brides are going to be looking back at their wedding photos in 20 years and wondering why they hung the chandelier from a tree, used a doorframe as their ceremony arch, and put typewriters on tree stumps.

Post # 20
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2446 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@EffieTrinket:  At this point in my budget (which I swear to you I’ve revised 10 times because “oh what’s another $400 when we’re spending $40K”), I really need to just settle down and just let the DJ do his magic.

Post # 21
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3696 posts
Sugar bee

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@atlbride2013:  Haha – for that, you will have to ask someone who has expertise in photography, which I do not.

Maybe, though, you will get lucky, and the piano technician you hire to move, reassemble and re-tune the grand piano will happen to be good-looking and happen to have a repertoire of classical or jazz standards he uses to moonlight as a gig musician? Tongue Out

Or, if you seriously decide to go that route, you can ask the music store where you hire the piano movers if they have any recommendations for gig musicians, or you could try craigslist, check with faculty and students at local music schools/departments, etc … generally, though, top criteria for hiring a musician should not be his/her looks. You might not want to tell them that’s what matters to you …

Post # 22
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3696 posts
Sugar bee

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@atlbride2013:  Yes, exactly. For the 0.02% of 2012 brides who have fond memories of playing in the barn on the farm they grew up on (or their grandparents’/aunt & uncle’s/best friend’s family’s farm they visited during the summers, etc., whatever), the barn wedding makes some sense and will evoke a sweet nostalgia when they look back at the pictures. Everyone else … will have lovely pictures, of course, but when their kids ask, “Mommy, why did you have the wedding in the barn?” the answer won’t be “Because your daddy and I have memories of playing in Grandpa Frank’s barn when we were younger and we had our first kiss in the hayloft,” it’ll be “Oh, that was the trendy thing to do at the time.” Which is fine and all, but when the kid then responds, “Oh. That’s weird.” they’ll be right.

That’s how trends work, though. Eh.

Post # 24
Member
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I gave up a long time ago on having a “blog worthy” type of wedding. At the end of the day that sort of thing just isn’t reflective of who Fiance and I are. We will have our wedding our way, and that’s how I always dreamed it would be 🙂

Post # 25
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I wonder the same thing– are we trying too hard to make our weddings look like a picture we saw, that doesn’t really have anything to do with us or our fiance’?  I love certain details of weddings I see, but haven’t decided to just “copy” one, you know? I did post jokingly on Facebook that we will not have any mason jars, burlap, striped straws, a photo booth, wedding party in cowboy boots or several other popular trends at our wedding– not that there’s a thing wrong with ANY (or all!) of those things, but they’re not “us”.  We *are* using mercury glass, but I have collected it and am using some of my pieces, along with some I’ve gotten for the wedding and will sell after.

For us– He’s a wine/beer buyer and I’m a paralegal with a photography habit. He’s a rampant NFL fan and I follow Peyton Manning. We “re-met” at a coffeehouse concert where he was running sound– our engagement photos were taken in a park, at that coffeehouse (where we’re having our rehearsal dinner also) and at the sports bar where we’ve spent a LOT of Sundays watching our teams play.  People thought they were odd choices, but they are OUR choices. At the bar, two of the waitresses who have worked there all this time jumped into one of the shots and it’s hilarious– and it’s US!

I know several photographers who have complained about being kind of limited in the photos they are able to take because people produce so many well-circulated photos that they want recreated.  When I chose my photographer, I chose them because of their portfolio which I have watched them create over a couple of years– photography is a hobby for me, and I follow a lot of photographers to get tips and ideas. Plus, I just love photos and I love the originality of some of the shots.  The creativity and originality of your chosen vendors gets diminished when you request a slew of recreations– the guy showing off his ring, the “Bridesmaids” poster pose.  I have those “pinned” too, because I think they’re cute, but I don’t know that we’ll recreate them. We’re making a shot list for them of photos we want for the family photos with everyone’s names to make that easier, and the list includes a couple of specific things I want documented for sentimental reasons, but they’re on their own for the rest. By the time the day rolls around, I don’t want to be in charge of ANYTHING!

Post # 27
Member
6255 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

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@KCKnd2:  THIS. As someone who actually grew up on a farm, this really bugs me! They generally don’t even look like real barns. No functional modern barn looks like that!

Post # 28
Member
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think people are entitled to whatever they want for their wedding day – whether they want to go over the top and “try too hard” or just show up without having done anything. It’s their day, so thye should have whatever they want – whether it’s original or not.  I think it takes a lot more effort to come up with original ideas than replicate what’s on pinterest – so I’d say that is “trying too hard” in my opinion.

Post # 29
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I went to a high school friend wedding last summer. A mutual friend said “How are you planning to top this?”

I just looked at her stupidly in disbelief

Post # 30
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@iheartmarshall:  Your just pathetic (Joke)! I think as humans we generally tend to see things that others do and judge. We often think of what we would do differently.

I agree that often I see brides going crazy with decor, or something else and have thought they were trying too hard. In the wonderful world that is wedding planning, all we can do is make ourselves and our FI’s happy. It’s impossible to please everyone, as not everyone likes the same things.

Post # 31
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think we all try to hard lol. And sometimes people have a hard time choosing a theme. I wanted something a little different and unique. I am doing vintage, I am doing near the lake, cabins/cottages, all relatively popular so I wanted my theme to be something not seen a lot. I couldn’t find any ideas until I found a picture of a hollowed out Harry Potter book that somone used to propose. Then I saw a book made into flowers. And the idea hit me. A vintage book lovers theme! I can’t find any pictures of a wedding doing it yet although I am sure someone out there has. Sometimes though you find someone else’s idea and love it so much (and some people just don’t want to put in the effort of trying to come up with stuff because we are all so busy!)

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