(Closed) Every feel like brides are trying too hard?

posted 8 years ago in Decor
Post # 47
Member
863 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@atlbride2013:   The “in” thing right now is rustic weddings in barns. It’s beautiful and lovely until you realize that a million brides are going to be looking back at their wedding photos in 20 years and wondering why they hung the chandelier from a tree, used a doorframe as their ceremony arch, and put typewriters on tree stumps.

Hahaha. It will be even more interesting for future generations of archaeologists trying to figure out what the heck was going on during these ceremonies.

Post # 48
Member
5540 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

All I can say is I’m glad.I hadn’t discovered pinterest when I was planning my wedding. I did however go to a wedding recently that looked like pinterest threw up all over it. It was nice…. but also kind of a.mess of every single thing the bride had ever pinned and it was like “well, okay?”

Post # 49
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

When I start to find myself getting a little too caught up in the hunt for music/dj or the perfect freaking ribbon colour, I curl up with my fiance and let it melt away. I always wind up just being glad that we will be husband and wife when our imperfect day is through 🙂

Post # 50
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think I’m trying way too hard…but that’s also just my personality.  I always try way too hard.  But I don’t think I’m on trend at all.

In fact, the first week of actually planning I tried out some silk flowers in mason jars.  I thought this could work.  Flashforward and we have nothing close to a rustic wedding.  It’s a little hard to find inspiration for ours being a modern, dia de los muertos, theme.  It’s not a halloween wedding which I’ve seen.  It’s not a bright and colorful wedding with paper tissue flowers which I’ve seen.  It’s pretty modern, black and white damask, and skulls wtf?? 

I don’t begrudge anyone for their wedding choices if it makes them happy.  I know our craziness and ideas spilling over eachother does make us happy.  It’s stressful but we’re having fun planning OUR wedding.

Post # 51
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

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@mjoyelle:  I’m sorry you can’t have the barn wedding you’ve dreamt of. But on the other hand, all this money going to rent out preserved old barns probably means more beautiful old barns will be preserved, so more barns for you to enjoy for years to come!

Post # 52
Member
1563 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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@atlbride2013:  this is hysterical! Im so over country chic weddings, especially when these girls  are not usually country lol

Post # 53
Member
1281 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Maybe it’s because I’m on such a tight budget, but I don’t feel any sort of pressure to out-do anyone.  For me, it’s more of a challenge of “how classy can I make my wedding look on this little money?” Occasionally, I looked on blogs for inspiration once I knew my style/colors, but I put more attention into finding the best deals, not the tiniest details…I know in the end, for me, I will be a lot more proud of saying, “yup, this wedding cost me 5K” VS boasting about details that no one noticed to begin with. 

Post # 54
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@wilfred: Thank you!  You make great points I hadn’t thought of.  Awesome barns and farms get lots of money for local produce (definately a good thing!) and in addition, I get to exercise my creativity in a different way.  Now my theme is more “Fred and Ginger haed upstate for a weekend in the country”.  One part glam, one part rustic and simple, and one part river view.  There’s no real “lose” here.

Post # 55
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

The reason everyone “tries too hard” is that they fail to realize that their wedding day is ONE DAY OF THEIR ENTIRE LIFE!

Post # 56
Member
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yup, I do. I think many brides put so much into their wedding, it becomes this approval seeking mission. And then we see the aftermath when they become obsessed with their wedding, and develop this depression because “their” day is over. They fixate on everything that went wrong and are reduced to desperation when they aren’t blogged.

It’s not a good look, no matter how “original” your day was supposed to be.

Post # 57
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@EffieTrinket:  i’m looking forward to that jam!

I think it is a fail when people prioritize style over substance. I will not have a good time sitting on your grandmother’s afgan in the grass or feel full if i am only offered a miniature cheeseburger with three truffle oil french fries. 

Please seat me, feed me and keep me warm. After you take care of that, you can decorate however you like. 

Post # 58
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@KatyElle:  +1 I find it so sad when someone has a perfectly lovely wedding and afterwards they fret because they weren’t blogged.

Post # 59
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

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@mjoyelle:  I love the rustic wedding too, Fiance and I both like to support local farms, love gardening, and actually dream of living on a small farm in the future. But we are by no means farm people. As much as we like farm weddings, we decided they are too overdone for us. And I’m disabled and he will be super busy, so we can’t do a big set-up ourselves, so any reasonable farm would be out. And the upscale farm restaurant/educational farm we have special ties to would be way too expensive for us! But we still wanted to be in nature/outdoors so we are doing a swanky garden wedding in a city botanical gardens. So I don’t have as many ties to a farm as you but when I started planning I was unhappy about how trendy farm weddings had become. But then I realized I’m glad much needed money is going to farms. And now I love my theme more! Great ideas come when you have limitations. And it sounds like your wedding will be beautiful and unique as well!

Post # 60
Member
2085 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

There are trends in many areas of our lives and we all know people who chase them HARD and others who don’t care. Some feel validated by being able to have that trendy thing.

 

By The Way, I think a lot of wedding professionals are over the rustic thing. How many years has it been?  It’s kind of like ombre stuff. Two years ago, if you were into wedding blogs, ombre was cool and interesting.  Now it’s reaching the mainstream (the people who turn to The Knot for inspiration, maybe?) and people are moving back to more polished looks.

Of course, in six weeks, I could be totally wrong.  This is just what I gathered from listening to some folks talking recently.

 

Post # 61
Member
576 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@KCKnd2:  

I see where you’re coming from, but at the same time, how many couples played as children in the hotel ballroom in which they were married, etc?

I’m not sure that the physical location of a wedding needs to reflect the life history of a couple– I mean honestly there are a limited number of places or types of places to get married, and most weddings have a lot of similarities.

This isn’t directed just at you personally but the sort of detracting of certain wedding themes or trends kind of rubs me the wrong way; the vast majority of couples just want to have a nice wedding in a place that works for their guests and budget, and which they find beautiful. Even if that turns out trendy, bashing it seems a little unneccessary. 

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