- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
when i was a young girl and dreamed about my wedding….i always thought i would have what is now a “rustic barn/rustic country” wedding….complete with barn, but they had a lot o meaning to me….i grew up in the country, on a farm, we plan on buying our own farm when we can afford it….and i always dreamed it would be in my grandma’s barn, but sadly it has become so unsafe that i had to let go of those child hood memories and the memory of sitting in the hay loft when my SO 4 years ago told me he wanted to be together forever….fast forward to last year and a horrific hailstorm, and record high straightline winds, and a tornado….the poor barn was demolished, for safety reasons, plus i have realized there is the logistics of actually getting my loved ones to a spot in the boonies of the country my parents farm is 28.5 miles out of town….plus there are snakes and bugs, and any country place i can think of that i think is beautiful there is usually cattle around, cyotes, snakes, badgers, you name it….even the occasional buffalo herds….so it does make me a little sad to see something i wanted so bad done by sooo many people, a few of whom i know for fact that HATE the outdoors, HATE the country, and make fun of it on a daily basis….it does make me question wether they genuinely love the venue or are doing it to be blogged…or for the pictures….though i will admitt the last one i went to where a girl who hates the country, outdoor,bugs, and heat, thought hey lets have an authentic outdoor barnwedding that was picture for picture like her pintrest board….and it was HILARIOUS and TERRIFYING to watch “girly girls” try and navigate the soft dirt out the barn about 1/8 of mile in a field that you couldnt drive into, in heels(some of these chicks were in like 5-6inch heels, which if you dont know, thats a damn good way to break your ankle, esp about 3 days after a rain storm while it was nice and soft!), and terrifying in that i watched these i will call them less knowledgeable people drive around the combines and feed trucks because a “real country wedding in a barn that has 3 wheat fields on either side,during harvest season is a fantastic idea and will look great in pictures”…. most terrifying drive of my life….not to mention about 10 of the guests apparently had asthma and/or hay fever so the beautiful hand written vows were interrupted frequently by sneezes,coughing and the sounds of an inhaler going off….her pictures were GORGEOUS….even though you could hear her whinning all day that she HATES the country, outdoors, and heat….
my point is while i agree with alot of posts and see where both sides are comming from i do agree with both sides….i can see it going both ways…but it does become really obvious in some cases that it is purely to get the “look” and not about the couple….which i think is what a wedding should be about….i do like to add…that No You dont have to have a wedding venue that completely reflects you…. HOWEVER DO NOT PICK A VENUE AND A THEME YOU HATE BECAUSE ITS POPULAR AND MAY GET YOU BLOGGED EVERYONE WILL NOTICE THAT YOU DONT LIKE IT! NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT WILL LOOK IN PICTURES…. and everyone will walk away going WTF! *Just like in my example of the girls wedding, we all knew she was miserable and when she wasnt executing a perfect smile for her “random” and staged photos,she was walking around scowling, and grummping….granted she was an extreme case but it does make you wonder when you see a girl who you know isnothing like her wedding theme is suddenly all cowgirl boots and natural…when she normally has on 5 inch heels, and layers of makeup and the latest designer duds….just like if i got married tomorrow and was super glam, high heels glitz and glamour and super trendy….my family would be wondering if i had recently suffered a concussion, and where the ambulance on standby for my future injuries because im the biggest clutz!
so….i see both sides….but it atleast should be in the realm of reality….if you hate the country but want a country theamed barn wedding id suggest an old barn on the edge of town vs 10 miles in the middle of nowhere, just like with anyother theme, its got to be somewhat tangiable to you as a couple, not hey lets throw a dart at pintrest and it is what it is…if you love a theme rock it…just dont go whole hog if you dont love all of the theme….it does show to the guests who are the important people next to the couple….not the cool person who is never going to meet me much less care about me or my marriage…who can say my wedding is cool on a blog….even though in 10 years no one will care about the blog or maybe even getting your wedding blogged but you will always have your wedding photos and probably the over oppinionated relatives who will im sure love to remind you how awful it was to be drug to the middle of here or there for a wedding full of stuff that YOU have never liked and will never like because it was cool….much like people from the 70’s and 80’s look back at their clothes and go WTF was i thinking i know i hated it and it looked good THEN but i hated it and just did it because everyone else did…..
So morale of my post is do what you want it is your day, just dont get soo obsessed with being trendy that you look back and hate it, or isolate your partner from the wedding plans because it HAS to be TRENDY! and dont pick whats cool even though you know you will be miserable….chances are in 10 years those super perfect favors and decorations that anyone who was anyone who even knew anything about weddings or pintrest HAD TO HAVE. no will give a rats a$$ about….they will remember that you acted uncomfortable and posed and fake at your wedding, and may scratch their heads and wonder how you two are still together….or they wont remember a thing, and just remember how happy and in love you guys are/were….my parents have been married for 27 years and my mom cant tell you what color he Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were, what her theme was, what the food/favors/decorations were….just becoming my dads wife….and i think alot of that gets lost now days…so i guesse i just dont get the whole going with the trend thing because if you dont love it why do it….do people really want to remember in 20 years that they picked and planned a wedding to get blogged and go huh….where were we in that….
sorry for the novel…i hope it makes sense….just woke up…lol…gotta love night shifts… : )
I feel the pressure too. Sometimes I think I have an original idea and then my mom will send me an email saying “Oh you wanted this guest book or decor or whatever” and I think to myself well I guess I’m just a copycat. Othertimes I don’t know what exactly I want so I do look to Pinterest or google for help and I’m thankful. So its a love-hate relationship.
SIGH lol. I am not always the most creative person and when I get an idea I like to think its original…but I guess not so much lol. At least I can make it my own with my own colors and flowers.
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