(Closed) Every feel like brides are trying too hard?

posted 8 years ago in Decor
Post # 77
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Saloria83:  I’m thinking about something along these lines, like an “Our Love Story” kind of theme. I’ve seen cute pictures of vintage book centerpieces, bookmark escort cards, etc. I’m hesitant, though, because I don’t want our wedding to feel TOO theme-centered. Plus, we’re both English teachers, so it could feel kinda cute, OR feel like we’re both at work…

Post # 78
Member
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

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@Mimoza:  Good articles. Makes me feel like I’m doing something right 🙂

Post # 79
Member
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

when i was a young girl and dreamed about my wedding….i always thought i would have what is now a “rustic barn/rustic country” wedding….complete with barn, but they had a lot o meaning to me….i grew up in the country, on a farm, we plan on buying our own farm when we can afford it….and i always dreamed it would be in my grandma’s barn, but sadly it has become so unsafe that i had to let go of those child hood memories and the memory of sitting in the hay loft when my SO 4 years ago told me he wanted to be together forever….fast forward to last year and a horrific hailstorm, and record high straightline winds, and a tornado….the poor barn was demolished, for safety reasons, plus i have realized there is the logistics of actually getting my loved ones to a spot in the boonies of the country my parents farm is 28.5 miles out of town….plus there are snakes and bugs, and any country place i can think of that i think is beautiful there is usually cattle around, cyotes, snakes, badgers, you name it….even the occasional buffalo herds….so it does make me a little sad to see something i wanted so bad done by sooo many people, a few of whom i know for fact that HATE the outdoors, HATE the country, and make fun of it on a daily basis….it does make me question wether they genuinely love the venue or are doing it to be blogged…or for the pictures….though i will admitt the last one i went to where a girl who hates the country, outdoor,bugs, and heat, thought hey lets have an authentic outdoor barnwedding that was picture for picture like her pintrest board….and it was HILARIOUS and TERRIFYING to watch “girly girls” try and navigate the soft dirt out the barn about 1/8 of mile in a field that you couldnt drive into, in heels(some of these chicks were in like 5-6inch heels, which if you dont know, thats a damn good way to break your ankle, esp about 3 days after a rain storm while it was nice and soft!), and terrifying in that i watched these i will call them less knowledgeable people drive around the combines and feed trucks because a “real country wedding in a barn that has 3 wheat fields on either side,during harvest season is a fantastic idea and will look great in pictures”…. most terrifying drive of my life….not to mention about 10 of the guests apparently had asthma and/or hay fever so the beautiful hand written vows were interrupted frequently by sneezes,coughing and the sounds of an inhaler going off….her pictures were GORGEOUS….even though you could hear her whinning all day that she HATES the country, outdoors, and heat….

my point is while i agree with alot of posts and see where both sides are comming from i do agree with both sides….i can see it going both ways…but it does become really obvious in some cases that it is purely to get the “look” and not about the couple….which i think is what a wedding should be about….i do like to add…that No You dont have to have a wedding venue that completely reflects you…. HOWEVER DO NOT PICK A VENUE AND A THEME YOU HATE BECAUSE ITS POPULAR AND MAY GET YOU BLOGGED EVERYONE WILL NOTICE THAT YOU DONT LIKE IT! NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT WILL LOOK IN PICTURES…. and everyone will walk away going WTF! *Just like in my example of the girls wedding, we all knew she was miserable and when she wasnt executing a perfect smile for her “random” and staged photos,she was walking around scowling, and grummping….granted she was an extreme case but it does make you wonder when you see a girl who you know isnothing like her wedding theme is suddenly all cowgirl boots and natural…when she normally has on 5 inch heels, and layers of makeup and the latest designer duds….just like if i got married tomorrow and was super glam, high heels glitz and glamour and super trendy….my family would be wondering if i had recently suffered a concussion, and where the ambulance on standby for my future injuries because im the biggest clutz!

so….i see both sides….but it atleast should be in the realm of reality….if you hate the country but want a country theamed barn wedding id suggest an old barn on the edge of town vs 10 miles in the middle of nowhere, just like with anyother theme, its got to be somewhat tangiable to you as a couple, not hey lets throw a dart at pintrest and it is what it is…if you love a theme rock it…just dont go whole hog if you dont love all of the theme….it does show to the guests who are the important people next to the couple….not the cool person who is never going to meet me much less care about me or my marriage…who can say my wedding is cool on a blog….even though in 10 years no one will care about the blog or maybe even getting your wedding blogged but you will always have your wedding photos and probably the over oppinionated relatives who will im sure love to remind you how awful it was to be drug to the middle of here or there for a wedding full of stuff that YOU have never liked and will never like because it was cool….much like people from the 70’s and 80’s look back at their clothes and go WTF was i thinking i know i hated it and it looked good THEN but i hated it and just did it because everyone else did…..

So morale of my post is do what you want it is your day, just dont get soo obsessed with being trendy that you look back and hate it, or isolate your partner from the wedding plans because it HAS to be TRENDY! and dont pick whats cool even though you know you will be miserable….chances are in 10 years those super perfect favors and decorations that anyone who was anyone who even knew anything about weddings or pintrest HAD TO HAVE. no will give a rats a$$ about….they will remember that you acted uncomfortable and posed and fake at your wedding, and may scratch their heads and wonder how you two are still together….or they wont remember a thing, and just remember how happy and in love you guys are/were….my parents have been married for 27 years and my mom cant tell you what color he Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses were, what her theme was, what the food/favors/decorations were….just becoming my dads wife….and i think alot of that gets lost now days…so i guesse i just dont get the whole going with the trend thing because if you dont love it why do it….do people really want to remember in 20 years that they picked and planned a wedding to get blogged and go huh….where were we in that….

sorry for the novel…i hope it makes sense….just woke up…lol…gotta love night shifts… : )

Post # 80
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@littlemisst08:  I totally agree with you. We are having an outdoor ceremony on the grounds of the country club, with a reception in the adjacent banquet hall. It’s beautiful, the food looks good, the DJ should keep the crowd going…yet sometimes I feel all this pressure to make it more “unique” “personal” or “different”! When all I really want is a pretty space, decent food, an open bar, fun music, andmost  importantly all of our friends and family together in one place!

Post # 81
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

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@FauxPas2012: Thanks! I don’t know exactly; I heard it on a person once and I thought it was a kind of neat, homely name with a lot of character, and I have an affection for those types of names (but would not saddle a child with them). 

Post # 82
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@lucy33:  I think it sounds cute! I am a bigger reader however my Fiance is not so he is just allowing me to have my dream theme I suppose. The ceremony will be mainly outdoorsy (i.e. Babys breath, wild flowers, etc.) it is inside where more of the theme will come out. I am gonna have my son be the ring bearer but instead of having a pillow he will have a hollowed out book. On the tables will be old books without covers wrapped in lace and twine, maybe a couple flowers made from book pages and wine glasses with candles and those little vellum lamp shades. I suppose it is a bit themed but I won’t ever have any other excuse to decorate like this and my wedding is the only chance I get! Lol.

Post # 83
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

I feel the pressure too. Sometimes I think I have an original idea and then my mom will send me an email saying “Oh you wanted this guest book or decor or whatever” and I think to myself well I guess I’m just a copycat. Othertimes I don’t know what exactly I want so I do look to Pinterest or google for help and I’m thankful. So its a love-hate relationship.

Post # 84
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@Saloria83:  Sounds like a great plan. Lots of cute ideas! 🙂

Post # 85
Member
2946 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@NurseMandie:  Oh ugh I hate that, too. I call it “accidentally trendy.” I thought it would be a super cute idea to bring our inflatable mattress to the beach for our e-pics, and make it look like a bedroom shoot (not racy, just like reading in bed or g-rated cuddling) at the beach! I emailed our photographer, and she thought it would be cute and that “so many people are bringing furniture to the beach these days for shoots.” She meant it in a supportive way, but I still felt put out that I was so accidentally trendy. 😐 face for the rest of that day.

Post # 86
Member
3415 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Lodge

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@HisMoon:  LOL yup.  My mom quilts for a hobby (and I guess as a part time business since she sells items) and we are having a rustic/vintage/fall wedding so I though “Hey instead of a traditional guest book why not have guests sign fabric pieces my mom can sew together for a decorative quilt…and we can display the signed pieces and some engagement pictures with some string tied to some old ladders” So I emailed my mom to get her ok about the quilt and these are the pictures I got back from her that she found on Google:

SIGH lol.  I am not always the most creative person and when I get an idea I like to think its original…but I guess not so much lol.  At least I can make it my own with my own colors and flowers.

Post # 87
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@atlbride2013:  ohh my gooodddd I’m laughing so hard at your post right now….especially the typewriter on the tree stump part

Post # 88
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@iheartmarshall:  I agree because all the pictures have turned me into a monster. My once small wedding keeps increasing in size and funds..LOL They need a rehab for MonsterBrides

Post # 89
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee

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@Eglantine:  Have you ever seen the Disney movie Bedknobs & Broomsticks? The main character, played by Angela Lansbury, was named Eglantine, and there was a song called “Eglantine” somewhere in the movie. I haven’t seen it since I was probably 9 or 10 years old, but I used to love that movie.

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