(Closed) Every single person flaked for my bridal shower on the morning of!!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

ohhh i am so sorry to hear about this. *hugs*. Im glad your sister was there for you looks like you choose well for her as your Maid/Matron of Honor. xo

Post # 5
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I am so sorry that you have experienced this disappointment. I’m sure that it hurts, and that is making you want to end relationships so that people can’t cause you any more hurt. Although there is a certain logic to that, it’s not really a practical or positive decision. If you end your relationship with everyone who ever disappoints you, you are quickly going to find yourself with a very small circle of friends. If you are, as you say, fiercely loyal to those you love, you are going to need to overlook times when othees’ priorities are not aligned with yours. As heartbreaking as I’m sure not having a bridal shower must be, I believe you will have a lot more heartache if you are unable to forgive the fact that people you love will hurt and disappoint you sometimes and instead cut those individuals out of your life.

Post # 6
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

@cristina115:  Wow, your post really resonates with me. My brother is a Scorpio and I know too well how loyal they are but if you cross them. watch out-you get stung very hard in the back…nevermind a Scorpio planning a wedding…lol ๐Ÿ™‚

I cannot believe everyone flaked…okay, I can.There is at least a post a week here about low turnout for these events and people cancelling last minute. I would be SO MAD at the fact that people offer to be there for the party mode, but ditch the gift mode. That’s just rude. I understand that being in your 20’s you need to invest a small fortune in wedding/bay shower/other event festivities but some people would rather bail and not show at all than buy a gift, which is just CRAZY.

I am so sorry this happened to you and starting tearing up reading what you wrote about the co-worker and how you felt that was your only shower. I honestly don’t understand what is wrong with people but I have said it before n will say it again, a lot of folks these days seem more interested in watching for the FB photos and updates, or tweeting or pinning life than actually living it.

 

You don’t show up, it doesn’t count. Period.

 

I would be inclined to go along with your idea of just un-inviting them. It would look really bad, and for sure they would throw you under the bus and say you are being a bridezilla, so if you are ready for that drama, then go for it. Otherwise….hang in there. BUT, who the heck cancels the day of and doesn’t even send a gift? There was money invested in the shower…

Some people. I am super shaking my head at this. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 8
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@cristina115:  I really feel for you, because that is an all around sucky situation. But, I’ll be honest it makes me sad that you want rescind your wedding invites to them. Friends an family will disappoint you, that’s unfortunately a part of life. I’m worried you will regret not having them at your wedding in the future. 

Post # 9
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

Hey,

I can’t believe this is still going on in your thirties-this sounds like something my friends of yesteryear would have done. I am in my thirties too-no BS for my wedding this time round. I got married when  I was 21 and went through all of this. My Maid/Matron of Honor actually had to be dragged out of bed as she was hungover (at 2 PM, no less) to attend the bridal shower. She forgot to do games so I was doing the games myself in the car on the way over. When I got engaged 5 months ago, Fiance and I both said never again. So we eliminated the wedding party, the stag, the shower.

So it’s like…you guys want to come, see you at the wedding n thats it. ๐Ÿ™‚

 

In terms of gifts, I just wanted to say I wasn’t meaning to direct that you wanted just the gift…I think if I were to cancel that last minute I would still send a gift. I say this as I have had a few last minute cxl with my wedding and the caterer is already confirmed and now I am stuck paying for their plate. Most people know this..

with your shower, you would just think that as a friend, if one cannot attend, one would still give a present..I mean, they should have bought one already…right?

I agree with you on time to find new friends. Also, sometimes the old friends smarten up and come around in the future…you never know.

Post # 10
Member
8361 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@Brielle:  Well said.

Did the so called flakers give a reason why? I also think you need to think about it this way- if 30 people were attending would you be this upset at this 5 for pulling out at the last minute? Probably not. I think you are focussing all of your resentment on peple not attending your shower onto these five girls which is extremely unfair to them.

You also need to stop putting your standards onto other people. Your choice, actions and standards are just that yours. Not everyone has the same opinions/morals/attitudes/standards as each other but imagine what a dull place the world would be if we were all the same. A world full of lemmings.

Just because you choose to act a certain way does not mean that anyone else in the world is required to act the same way.

I really hope you can lower your expectations and deal with the disappointment because as @Brielle said you will soon become a lonely bitter disappointed person otherwise!

Post # 11
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s really crappy to hear, and this happened to me all the time growing up. I eventually realized the friends “when it’s convenient” is not what I wanted by my side. I ended up growing apart from many of the people I called friends in highschool and the years after, spent some time soul seraching and made a couple of new (way better) friends and spent time getting closer to my family.

I too, made sure I was at every event with bells on. Sometimes you just realize that you don’t mean as much to people as they do to you and it’s time to move on and find people who with value you as a person.

Your friends from work seem like keepers, maybe focus on keeping in touch with them instead? Hope you have a fabulous wedding! Don’t let your annoyances with people ruin that day for you.

Post # 12
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@j_jaye:  I don’t think her standards were too high? She spent lots of time, effort and money to participate in events that made her friends feel special and she’s in the wrong for thinking they might repay the kindness?

 

Post # 15
Member
11351 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@OtterHalf:  

You said what I was attempting to say, but you said it much better and more to the point.

Post # 16
Member
5761 posts
Bee Keeper

I believe you teach people how to treat you, and if you’re willing to accept the slights from those you considered friends, then by all means, let it go. That isn’t my personal philosophy in life (to just accept and deal with terribly inconsiderate people) and removing them from my circle of friends has given me nothing but relief from the angst they’ve caused me. You can move on and find others, so why hold onto those who don’t value what you have to offer?

OP….I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

The topic ‘Every single person flaked for my bridal shower on the morning of!!’ is closed to new replies.

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