- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I used to work as a Bridal Consultant at Bed, Bath and Beyond…you know, the person that walks with you, helping you register throughout the store. We were always taught to let people know to register for a variety of things, especially so that the guests had enough gift selections for the wedding and the shower. I agree with the idea, if you are from a supportive family and have good friends, but everything fell apart in my case, and it makes me sad.
My Maid/Matron of Honor (who is my sister), as well as my family, do not live near me and we planned her visit into town earlier this summer to plan a combo bridal shower during the daytime, leading into the bachelorette at night late in July. Unfortunately, my other bridesmaid was to be out of town, but I was super happy my sis was taking charge of this. She knows how much I hate shower games so she took a lot of time to plan entertaining games/activities that would be different yet engaging. I also helped her out by buying really neat game prizes and bought/planned a great menu for food and tons of booze to lubricate the fun.
Buuuuuut….every one of the RSVPs gave some sort of bullsh*t excuse the morning of the bridal shower that they couldn’t make it. Granted, I am having a small wedding (60 people) but 5 girls had RSVPed to the shower, but all of them decided to flake VIA TEXT OR EMAIL on the day of. A lot of other people had at least the courtesy to let me know ahead of time that they couldn’t make it (some excuses legit, others seemed flimsy), but those other “no” rsvps still bummed me a bit but I respected that those early replies at least gave me a heads up as to who to expect to come. After all the prep and my sister flying down for it, I am deeply hurt by the flakers. I am always the friend who tries to make it to everyone’s birthday or gathering and be supportive of everyone else. But when you don’t get it in return? That is just messed up. Three weeks prior, I had just spend a small fortune for a girl’s weekend out of town for one of the RSVP’s birthday celebration and was surprised that she decided to cancel when it came down to my event. Another two guests are my cousin’s, who, I can only best describe like the Sex and the City episode, where Carrie is fed up after spending hundreds of dollars at her friend’s bdays, baby showers, baby’s birthdays and christening parties, only to have it totally not reciprocated. So, because of this, I am effectively cutting off those selfish family members after the wedding. Why is it OK for me to gift them and show up to all their life events and for them not to return the favor?
To add insult to injury, some of the shower flakers still said that they would be down to meet me for the bachelorette festivities, but I cancelled the entire day’s events as I was too pissed off/no longer wanted to see them and did the bachelorette partying with my sis and one other friend (who had already forewarned me she was only available for the night time events) and luckily we still managed to have a fantastic time.
I am so sad because this is my onetime BRIDAL SHOWER, not a bday which happens every year. Also, because I heard stories time after time when I worked at BBB, how all these girls had several showers thrown for them and I couldn’t even one proper one.
To at least throw one positive experience, my lovely coworkers at BBB threw me an undercover bridal shower during one of our shifts together before I quit a few months back, which was really the only one I had. We were technically supposed to be working the floor but would sneak off to the stockroom to eat the shared snacks and they kindly bought me some nice giftables, which was unexpected and totally sweet. I got emotional to the coworker who organized it and let her know that at the time of the work shower, it was the first time I really felt like a bride. 95% of the time, I just feel like a stressed out party planner and really haven’t had much of a moment to enjoy being engaged and relishing the future of married life with friends. In the end, I am a very lucky gal because I am still marrying my best friend and the best husband to be ever. But I still can’t shake how messed up it is to feel that no one has your back and feels that cancelling the day of is OK.
I’m struggling with the thought of whether I want to see these people at my wedding. I had already mailed the invitations before my shower, but am also highly considering cutting all these people from my life. I’m a Scorpio and fiercely loyal, so when you break my trust, you are essentially dead to me.
UUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH…………..thanks for letting me vent, fellow bees. I hope none of you ever has this experience.