(Closed) Every time I think about her I get upset.

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh no that sucks! Do you want to uninvite her to be a BM? If so maybe you could tell her something like you notice that she doesn’t seem very into being a part of the bridal party and that maybe it’s best if she come as a guest to the wedding instead. Not in a mean way but a nice tactful way. I dont understand why she doesn’t want to be involved since she was good friends with your Fiance (unless she is jealous) but seriously, this is YOUR day to celebrate with people you love and who love you, if you dont want her in your bridal party then she shouldn’t be there.

Post # 4
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would try to make it her idea to step down from being a BM, that way its not your fault.

Post # 5
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

If you aren’t that close, she might feel kind of awkward about being a Bridesmaid or Best Man and maybe that’s why she isn’t responding at all right now. I think the best solution would be to maybe wait a couple of weeks and stop emailing her, see if she approaches you. If not, I would talk to her in person or on the phone and give her an out. Don’t kick her out, but phrase it so that it’s 100% her decision, but the reason you are giving her the out is because you get the feeling it might be too much of a burden on her and you might have been a little hasty not considering that when you originally asked her.

Post # 6
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Honestly, I don’t think it is fair that she should get to be in your bridal party at all. I mean, it’s not like she is being a good friend at all, and clearly she is not even trying. I think you are being nice and considerate of your Fiance in this situation trying to make him happy by having him up there, but have you told him what an ungrateful person she is being and how she doesn’t even seem interested in being your friend? I’ve made friends with people in a day before. I don’t get what she means by you “rushing” your friendship. That just sounds to me like she really doesn’t care about being your friend in the first place. This is your wedding too, and you shouldn’t have to stress about one of your BMs in this way. It’s totally not fair to you.  I say you should talk to your Fiance about this. Let him know how you feel.

Just my two cents. 🙂

Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m sorry to hear you are going through that.  It sounds like she is threatened by you and maybe a little jealous.  Just my perception.  To just assume she would be the Maid/Matron of Honor is very weird?!  It’s YOUR bridal party – meaning YOUR peeps.  She should be so lucky that you asked her to even be a BM!  I think it would be a really good idea to give her an out.  She may jump at the chance.  Best case she does and everyone is happy!  I hope everything works out for you and that you can let go of this stress.  You have so much more important and happy things to look forward to! 🙂

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