(Closed) Everybody is getting un-engaged

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1484 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow that is tough! I guess just be glad that they didn’t get married and divorced. It would be way more traumatic/awkward get married as a friend is getting divorced. If they’re good friends, they won’t say anything about their own situations and just be happy for you. I wouldn’t rub it in or talk too much about your engagement around them, though. 

The night Fiance proposed to me I called my out-of-state friend and left her a long voicemail saying how excited we were , save this date, so happy etc. found out the next day when she called me back that she didn’t answer the phone because she was getting dumped that exact moment by her first ever serious boyfriend. Yikes. I was damned if I did, damned if I didn’t because, if I didn’t at least text her she would have felt hurt finding out from Facebook when all the rest of our friends were AT the engagement. 

Post # 4
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Eeek, what a sticky situation that put you in! And sad all around. It’s horrible to go through an un-engagement (been there, and it was very smart in the end), and it may end up being rough on them to see you get engaged soon. But if they are true friends, they will find it in their hearts to be happy for you and not drag you down.

Best of luck dealing with it. Tread carefully and be prepared for a little drama that might come your way… then come to the Bee and tell us all about it :o)

Post # 6
4176 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

they will have their own stuff to deal with but if they are friends, they will rejoice with you and be happy for you despite their sadness.

Post # 7
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I had a freind who’s engagement ended after one year, tell me that she thinks people shouldn’t have long engagments because if they don’t do it right away it might never happen!! LOL…that kind of thinking is perposterous to me! She was convinced if they had gotten hitched right away then all would be right with the world…but I think you and I both know if you are meant to get married, if you have what it takes…then it will happen! 

Having said that…there are many bees who have been blindsided by a called off engagment or who are struggling with last minute doubts….so I guess all I can say is don’t worry that wha’ts happening to them will happen to you. Enjoy your engagement, you have every reason to look forward to your wedding day and your marriage.

Engagement doesn’t always end in marriage sadly..people start to really face the truth about their relationships while engaged, and somtimes they don’t like what they see. Your friends should be glad they didnt’ marry the wrong person.

Congrats on ur engagment!

Post # 8
1395 posts
Bumble bee

It seems like an overwhelming amount of Bees’ engagements are ending, too!  It is kind of scary!

Post # 9
7960 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i guess in a positive light you could say that the intention was there but to end an engagement is better than going through the wedding and then getting a divorce.

Post # 10
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012 - the Columns Hotel

It’s so hard- you just have to be supportive as best you can. I recently struggled with this- my brother was engaged to marry one of my besties six weeks before mr a and I. They recently split, and it is definately sensitive, compounded by the fact that she is one of my bridesmaids. 

Post # 11
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

All I can say is that at least they weren’t married yet. Every couple we’ve known that got married between when we got engaged/married have gotten divorced 🙁 Four sets of friends, it’s crazy. No weddings on the horizon for anyone I know in real life now though.

Post # 12
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If it feels right, it probably is right. Speaking as someone who’s broken off an engagement, it’s not usually something people wake up one day and just do. Normally it’s the collapse of something that was built from the ground up on a very poor foundation.

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