(Closed) Everyone changed their RSVP to "not attending"

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Holy crap!  I would be absolutely DEVASTATED. Family means the world to me, so I honestly could not cope with this.  It would be absolutely unacceptable.  I would probably send a mass e-mail out to all the people that changed their RSVP so they could see just how many people aren’t coming.  I don’t have any advice to you though because my actions would just be petty and unreasonable after this.  But I am so sorry, Bee.

Post # 3
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How odd that everyone is backing out now. Was there a falling out? I would ask for more details about the declines but also reassure him that the wedding will still be a happy event. 

Post # 4
1999 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

unfortunately engagement parties arent the most popular things to attend in my opinion, but just because they dont come to an engagement party does not mean they would turn down your wedding. 

Post # 5
7413 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

An engagement party isn’t the kind of event that most folks would travel for, but that doesn’t mean those same people wouldn’t travel for a wedding. I think he’s got every right to be disappointed, but he’s also got to get his expectations more suitably set.  Has he tried making his own local friends so that he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out? That’s not just about the wedding. A hobby group or  sports league might help.

Post # 6
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

that’s really suspicious- so they were all going to just ‘no show’ at the party? Wtf! I wouldn’t invite them to the wedding either

Post # 8
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

They shouldn’t have said yes and changed their mind, but honestly I wouldn’t travel for an engagement party unless it was immediately family.

Post # 10
3556 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

jazandlo :  is this about an engagement party, or the wedding? i know i wouldn’t travel 4 hours for an engagement party, but certainly would for a wedding. also…you said they rsvp’d for the engagement party two months ago? how far in advance did you send out invite for AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY?!? i’m not suprised people changed their RSVP…two months is quite far in advance, while two weeks (the time by which they remembered the party) means i likely already have plans. i think this could have been avoided by sending those invites much sooner to the event.

Post # 12
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

That’s awful! I’m so sorry 🙁 What I would do in this case is try and get at least ONE commitment from someone (explain the situation and how much it would mean to him), plan a nice outing for everyone who is coming (the locals), and then surprise him with the out of towner guest and a surprise fun activity. It’s not what he had hoped, but he will definitely feel thankful for the kind gesture.

Post # 13
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I wouldnt drive 4 hours for an engagement party, but I would for a wedding. Weird that they originally RSVPd yes tho.

Post # 14
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

jazandlo :  I would be inconsolable! I have no idea your financial or time capabilities or where everyone is located, so this may be completely impossible – no worries if it is.

Have you considered a short trip with your Fiance to a location closer to all the out-of-towners? Like a one-night stay over central to where they are and throw a small party at a restaruant or cook-out at a park?

If it were possible for my Fiance and I, we’d have done this, but everyone is spread across the country.

Good luck bee!!

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