Post # 1
When I first came here, I was impressed with the amount of support that people received from friends and family. I felt chagrined that people were having engagement parties thrown for them, tons of girls at their bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and were beating people away who wanted to come to the wedding.
This perception made me feel somewhat inadequate, and I found myself sometimes comparing how my bridesmaids/family measured up to all the idyllic families I perceived to be here.
But, the longer I’ve been here, the more I realized we all tend to idealize the seemingly perfect situation of others. I think we all have individual challenges in our social situation and wedding planning.
I read a post this morning that reminded me of this common perception, and I thought it might be helpful to give voice to the "grass is always greener" syndrome and hopefully dispel it.
One thing is for sure though, I do think we have the most supportive on-line community I’ve ever been in!
Post # 3
I think I know what post you are talking about and I agree.
I also read about all the wonderful times a lot of you ladies are spending with your girls and mom’s and such and I feel like I’m on my own.
The moments I feel like others don’t understand or they don’t really care I log unto this site.
I totally love it here because I feel like we are here going through this with each others help and advice.
Thanks "Bees" for everything that you have given me.
I agree there is lots of support here.
Post # 4
Thank goodness for each other! 🙂
Post # 6
Well said! Sometimes I wish we’d have a bridal party so someone would throw me a shower, bu then I remember how uncomfortable I’d be with all of those people and the feeling passes.
I also love WB because even if you ask a "silly" question, or say something others don’t agree with it’s rare that you get "attacked" for it. I’ve seen people ask things that a simple search on WB could get an answer for but I’ve seen more people looking into it for the person asking than people telling the question asker to look for themselves (does that even make sense).
Also the hive has a good sense of style and I’ve relied on that on more than one occasion. Although I still feel like an outcast because I’m not wearing white/ivory/champagne I still love it here and can’t stay away! 🙂
Post # 7
I don’t know that I’ve ever bothered to think about how things are for the other people here. I have gotten a lot of good advice here. I’ve also gotten a ton of ideas — I probably never would have made my cake toppers or even bothered printing menus! My family is supportive of my marriage, but they’re far away, and we’re having a small, simple wedding. Thanks to Weddingbee I’ve discovered ways that I can personalize this.
I never had showers or enagament parties, but then again I never wanted them. That didn’t stop me from gawking at the gorgeous invitations so many Bees showed from theirs!
Post # 8
I agree that my family and most friends are lacking in the wedding area, but the Bee really does make up for it!! I can see why so many women stay after they get married – its like an addiction! Wooohooo Mary-alice, 2 days to go, I’m sure your beside yourself with excitement
Post # 9
I feel the exact same way actually. When I started this wedding planning process I allowed myself to get wrapped up in some very unrealistic expectations and was so disappointed to have them torn apart. On other sites I read about people’s fantasy weddings surrounded by gaggles of maids and family and it made me feel terrible that I didn’t have that. On here, there are some girls with that but there is an equal balance of those of us who don’t. I appreciate all of the support and gossip that I would be missing out on if you girls weren’t out there.
Post # 10
Thanks for sharing everyone! I think it is a natural instinct to compare and see if your family and friends stack up to "the norm"… but it’s always trade-offs. For example, my mom and dad may not be involved in planning at all, and I could think, "Aww, why am I so unlucky that my parents aren’t involved?". But the flip side is that some of the planning parents are way over-involved and taking away the bride and grooms decision making autonomy.
Or for that matter, you just feel like everyone else has more loving and involved friends, so there must be something wrong with you. I would say that with few exceptions, many of us feel this way and a lot of it is our own perception.
I specifically designed the poll to show that the majority of girls feel the same way! Looks like the hypothesis was correct!
Post # 11
Thanks doctorgirl for this post! I have felt this exact way, my entire family is out of state and have not been very excited or supportive of the wedding planning. But, I have some awesome friends who have glady offered and are pitching in to help me and I couldn’t be more grateful!
As for this site, it amazes me how nice everyone is….I don’t think I have seen one snarky comment and I have been on here for almost a year now…….Unlike other boards where they seem to delight in making each other miserable. Thanks to all of the bees who have been supportive of me and my ideas over the past few months, you all rock!
Post # 12
I agree with everyone. I don’t have the norm in regards to family support, to the point I grew up thinking i never wanted to get married because of the awkwardness and the drama that is my family, but I just got over it, still gives me some anxiety though, not gonna lie. If I did not have weddingbee I would have gone crazy!! The stories and examples here on weddingbee make the process something I can relate to rather then feel detached from.
Post # 13
My friends didn’t have much time to throw a fancy bachelor’s party (we had takeout and wine at my friend’s place- and I picked up the takeout!). But they are great friends and I am deeply grateful for their friendships… they just didn’t have the time or energy to put much effort into the wedding.