greywacke : This is what I was trying to say, and you said it way better! OP, I mean t more about first impresions more than discrimination.
Apple_Blossom : Calling people ” disgusting, discriminating crap” is a bit much. This isn’t about discrimination, and the majority of employers would want the best person for a job regardless of their name. However, if you were the head of an academic department, had two resumes and you only had the option of calling one canddate for an interview, would you call Catherine or Cinnamon? Not saying it’s right, but that’s just how it is.
I agree with many PPs, there are anough challenges in life that there is no control over.
cathiemaney : Well, I have a cousin named Eden (and she is a girl), so I will always associate that name for a girl’s name. If you and your husband love it, then I guess stick with it, but yes, I do think he will have issues with it over the course of his life. But so could a person named Dave.
Honestly I probably would assume Eden is a female at first, but I could say the same thing about Jamie or Cameron. I’d make a mental note that he’s a boy and think nothing of it after that.
Dd’s name is unisex, probably tending more towards masculine, but we haven’t really had any issues with it. Oddly enough the one place they tend to say “he” is the pediatrician’s office, where it says “female” right on her chart lol.
Hate to say it, but I would probably change the name.It doesn’t sound masculine to me, and I agree with your husband’s feminism. But it must hurt a great deal for a child to be taunted for their name. Wish the world was not like that.
Arya is commonly associated as a female name (Probably thanks toPretty Little Liars). The very first Aria I met was a guy. I thought it suited him and was fine. Later on I met a female Arya. Took me a day or two to adjust picturing a girl as Arya but now I’m my mind I’ve adjusted and wouldn’t blink at a girl or guy being an Arya. Same will go for Eden. I think I’d associate with a female at first but pretty soon my brain will get over it and it’ll fit him. I’d leave it as Eden- great name and not over done like Sam so that’s my preference
cathiemaney : I like it! Keep it 🙂 Right now, you are probably just dealing with sampling bias and it will average out over time, is my guess. It is certainly not Cinnamon, haha. I think it is actually a really sexy name for a grown man, if I do say so myself. It is sweet and innocent on the surface with a taste of danger underneath. Good pick!
LIKE-A-BOSS : that’s the thing. The Eden we know pulls it off so well which is why we liked it. He’s a big tall successful guy and his middle name is also unisex but he just wears it so well. I just didn’t expect such a negative reaction from my family etc.
cathiemaney : That’s probably part of their problem with the name, is that they don’t know anyone with it and immediately rely on their first impressions of it (and when it’s novel and not their idea, people tend to shut it down for whatever reason when it comes to names)… For some, the name will quickly grow on them, and for others, it will change as your little man grows into it and redefines the name for them, just like your friend did for you guys. Others, it will just never be their cup of tea, but so it goes with every name. I feel like it helps if you give them a little idea of how you picture the name.. “Oh, you don’t like it? To me it is just so earthy and handsome when I picture him giving out a business card in the future, but then it’s easier for me since I know a great guy that wears it well. Plus, he can always decide later to go by his middle name or whatever he chooses, if he decides it’s not for him.” They can’t really argue with that. Your easy confidence in the name will make them question themselves a lot of the time.
Two of the names I love for my arriving daughter just seem like nails on a chalkboard to almost everyone in my family and friend group, but while that isn’t ideal and makes me reconsider them, I also know that she will make the name, not the other way around. Her dad and I are pretty secure in ourselves, and can only imagine our daughter will be as well, so if someone tried to give her grief, I think they’d get an earful from her if she cared enough to address it.
I think there is a good chance your son will get tons of compliments once he hits his 20s and onwards. It is just such a ‘new’ name (not really, but it is just showing up on unisex names lists everywhere in the last year or two, and making a real emergence into society for the first time in greater numbers), that I don’t think people really know what to make of it and that makes them uncomfortable. It’s a good, strong name with a soft surface, kind of like Noah, and it will settle in nicely once people get over the initial ‘shock’ of it. Have faith in your choice, and let the dust settle.
A word of caution, OP, about unisex names. Although great in theory, once a traditionally boys name starts being used a lot for girls, the parents of boys tend to stay away from it, and it transforms into a girls name in the eyes of many. I once witnessed a boy named Jordan teased by his cousin for having a “girls name”. The boys’ parents were there and patiently tried to explain to her that the name Jordan could be used for a boy or a girl. The girl said “That’s what all the kids at school say.” (I was an unrelated bystander, but I did intervene to stop the teasing, at least for the moment).