Post # 1
I come from a long line of family memebers who have either had small weddings (at the court house) or no wedding at all. Only four of my ten bridesmaids are already married and two of them are my sisters. Everyone has their idea about pricing and a style for the bridesmaid dress. Today one of my girls sent me a message saying “I probably make more money than everyone in your bridal party and I don’t want to spend over a certian amount” and my sisters have said they don’t even want to spend any money at all on bridesmaids dresses.
My mother offered to pay for my wedding dress but I ended up having to put the 900 down payment and I have a strong feeling she isn’t going to give me that money back. It was the money I had set aside for my photopgraher.
I was trying to save money and I painted my own guest book (like the ones you see on etsy) and now I don’t even like it. I am artistic but I can just see every flaw.
I feel like I have no support and nobody is happy for me or wants to help me. Which I think is really crappy considering I helped plan 5 of my girls baby showers have been there for showers their childrens birthday and all of that.
I feel so annoyed by this whole experiance I didn’t even want to get married around here I wanted to go away but my sisters and a few friends really wanted me to get married in my hometown and BOY do I regret it.
Nobody is taking into consideration that it is finally my time to be happy and have a celebration and none of them are excited or happy or are making me feel good about it.
My one and only friend who is excited and happy is being supportive and is willing to do whatever to help me and I appericate it soooooo much.
My sisters are supposed to be my maids of honor and they are being B****es about the whole thing. They refused to go bridal dress shopping with me and everything :(. It really hurt my feelings.
I don’t have a solution I just feel really crappy.
Post # 3
@aphelps28: *HUGS* I am so sorry you feel like this! I can totally understand… My only advice would be: focus on the bright side:
1. You are getting married (yeyyy)
2. You have one amazing friend who is and will be there for you
3. Your guest book will be awesome, give it a little more time and patience
4. YOU ARE GETTING MARRIED yeeeey
things WILL get better, I am sure, just be patient and enjoy what you have now. 🙂
Post # 4
I’m sorry, I can somewhat relate to how you’re feeling.
Most of the women in my family have had super laid back weddings, mostly in their back yards. When I expressed interest in having a more.. formal wedding, I caught alot of flack.
My aunt, who was one of the few who had her wedding in a reception hall, basically told me that I should have the same kind of wedding my mother had, which was a backyard style wedding, with kfc catering.
I mean, if a bride wants to have her wedding like that, fine! But that’s not how I envision mine.
My mother pretty much felt the same way, as she put it, “having a wedding in the back yard is good enough for you”. Thanks Mom.
I’ve just pretty much realized that many of my family members aren’t all that interested, even the ones who SHOULD be interested [like my Mom]. It was a bigger hassle for me to worry about them caring, than to do everything on my own.
Please don’t let others ruin your special day!
Post # 5
@aphelps28: some of them sound jealous your sisters do i mean not coming dress shopping how nasty … just mean they are ur sisters
i really hate the double standard to. Its like if you do wht ever you can for these people they should be ther for you .. i just sorry you have to go thru that
that being said i think most brides run into at least a few ppl who are a bit bitter they are not having that amazing time in there life again or wonder if they will ever … so they act un interested or remove them self form of much of it as they can to not show their green eyes … its better to seem not into something then out right rude or agaist it …. it does totally suck though cuz you want these ppl you love in on what your doing
i hope they rally around you a lil more soon if not know ur not alone
Post # 6
Is it too late for your to go away to get married like you originally wanted? It might make you happier? Take the one person who is excited to be a part of it as your witness and have an intimate, small ceremony? You’ll save money on venues, etc and you’ll get the wedding you wanted.
Don’t have a wedding for other people if you can avoid it. Good luck. x
Post # 7
I agree. I would consider going away and doing it how you wanted to in the first place if its at all doable. I wouldn’t worry how people react.
Post # 8
Go away if it is still at all possible… I guarantee it’ll be less stress!
Post # 9
@aphelps28: im not sure the style of your wedding. but maybe a comprimise could be to give them a color and let them wear their own dresses and just see them before hand to make sure it fits the vision you have. but then again that would be asking for them to cooperate with you and it doesnt seem like they are doing so.
Hope it gets better. dont let them get you too down though.
Post # 10
i dont have any words of wisdom but that you are not the only one. My Dhs family and us are so close but …..they got weird with our wedding. funny cuz they really pushed us to get married. then it seemed they thought we were too fancy. just cuz i wanted a DJ and a cater. they avoided helping and did not seem excited at all. (they were even two hours late for the reception) it was so disheartening. i just didnt get it…they have more money than my family too. and my mom was helping more (and we saved up a lot) so what was the big deal?? then two days before my wedding my sister yelled at me (at the bridal shower) and then tried to give me the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress back the next day (day before my wedding) because i didnt say sorry…..
so you have till june 7 2014. make your wedding what you want!!!! you have time. i totally recommend it or elope.. apart of me wishes i had since things go so crazy. i couldnt believe how much i cared about making everyone else happy at my wedding. when in reality they didnt even care. i mean some ppl did. (moh my mom brother)
Post # 11
It’s considerate for the bride to consult with her bridesmaids about pricing and style and to take their circumstances into consideration when planning. It sounds as if some BMs feel you are imposing costs that are too expensive. If you want a dress that is above their budget, you are either going to have to expect some drop outs, pay for the dresses, or select something they can all afford.
Post # 12
@souza_2005: That is really strange I seem to be getting those vibes too. I have never been to a “nice wedding” now that I think about it. I have only seen them on TV. I waited 8 years to marry this man I want it to be perfect… is that a crime?
I feel let down lately like some ar ebeing selfish. I had a certian look but I guess I will pick a color and let them pick a dress.
Post # 13
@mrs_pudding_pop: I wish we already have down payments on everything some non-refundable ;/
Post # 14
@jenilynevette: OMG I’d be so upset. you only get married ONCE its a celebration that only happens ONCE. & its YOUR day ugh. What is the deal with people lately. Unless they are splitting the bill they shouldn’t have an opinion.
Post # 15
Wait, 10 bridesmaids????
I have to wonder if maybe you are going overboard on this. 10 bridesmaids is a lot, and usually signifies a very formal, expensive, and large wedding. You really should be considerate of all of the different financial situations your bridesmaids are in when picking a dress.
Furthermore, while it would be nice to get financial help for your wedding, you aren’t owed that or entitled to it. Pay for your own wedding, and consider what anyone chips in to be a kind and generous gift.
I understand that this is your time to be happy and excited, but you can’t expect everyone else to drop everything for it. Their lives go on, and your wedding will never be as important to anyone else as it is to you.
Post # 16
Sucky situation, I’m sorry!
I think you need to focus on what you can control, and setting yourself up for success in this process. A few hints:
1) 10 bridesmaids = drama. Life will usually be easier with fewer bridesmaids.
2) Easy solution to the Bridesmaid or Best Man dress issue – let them choose their own dresses. Getting 10 girls to agree on either a budget or a look will be a big problem.
3) DIY sometimes goes wrong. This is life. Don’t drive yourself crazy with tiny little details like the guest book.
4) Let go of your idea of perfection. Telling yourself your wedding has to be perfect puts WAY too much pressure on the day. Focus on the things that matter most to you. For the rest, either let it go or let it be good enough.
Good luck. I’m sure you’ll make it.