(Closed) Everyone is making me feel bad about getting married.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ten bridesmaids? Whoa. I can see how that would seem a bit over the top, espcially if your family is not accustomed to large weddings. That doesn’t excuse the rudeness, though. 

Also, if you are not paying for your own wedding, expect to have less say in how things are done. For me, it was well worth it to pay for everything myself and do things exactly how I wanted to.

Post # 18
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@aphelps28:  Just try to stay positive. You are getting married, and it is supposed to be a joyous occassion.

Maybe you can cut down the wedding party a bit to make it more manageable. 10 seems like a lot!

 

Post # 19
Member
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

I know this is late, but I’m on board with “Don’t even bother having a wedding party.” You’re 7 months away from your wedding, and I’m hoping no one has gone out for their dresses yet (is that so?). If not, I’d seriously get rid of it. I didn’t have a wedding party and it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. The more people involved in your wedding, especially in positions of importance, the more they feel they have a say – and some will attempt to strongarm you into doing what they’d like. If you can at all pull back, I’d strongly consider it (for the most part, they don’t do much anyway). A simple, “We’ve decided not to have a wedding party, we hope to see you all as guests,” should do. Of course, that’s if you’re confident they haven’t paid for anything yet.

People are never as excited about your wedding as you will be. The truth is – to some degree, everybody’s a little bit selfish. It sounds like all of these people you helped out in the past are now fully wrapped up in their own lives – and with spouses and kids, they’re overlooking the fact that it’s now YOUR turn and they should make an effort to pitch in a little more.

But, you can’t change people, either. I’m sure your guestbook will be awesome. And if it isn’t? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you about half the stuff that I had at my wedding. My guests sure won’t because they go to so many weddings. I’ve been to 2 other weddings this year…I could not for the life of me tell you what the favors were, what their guestbooks or card boxes looked like, etc.

At the end of the day, they’re really small details. People really only notice when it’s outlandishly AWESOME or BAD – and the fact is, very, very few are in either category. Don’t sweat it.

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