- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 24 2017
I’ve been so overwhelmed I just really need a place to vent. My wedding (1.5 years in the making) is less than 6 weeks away and I’m so hurt and exhausted–everyone is making this planning so difficult. Here’s whats killing me:
1) My maid of honor (big sister) is aloof and ditzy. She has been putting off her fitting forever (and her daughter’s, who is my other bridesmaid). She is financially struggling so we are paying for EVERYTHING for her for the wedding. The dresses, her hotel, alterations, shoes, everything. Not just for her, but for her daughter and two other kids. It’s to the point now where I’ve had to ask her to do things so many times (like, can you call this person and ask this?) that I end up having to do it. And now, she’s waited so long to schedule the alterations, I’m going to have to pay for rush fees and HOPE everything works out. She is really hurting me and she said she is trying her best but I don’t think she is. I’m having to hold her hand through everything.
2) My other bridesmaid is out of state. She is also aloof and I have had to pick up her dress for her, then remind her about her fitting (to which she said she would get it done when she got back to her home state, but she doesn’t know when that is…possibly 2 weeks before the wedding). I then had to ship her dress to her and I have no idea what her plan is because she has no clue what she’s doing, even if I ask her.
3) I lost a bridesmaid back in February. By lost, I mean I had to break up with her friendship because I realized it was toxic. She was always putting me down and making me feel judged. So I lost my best friend and a part of my wedding party.
5) My Fiance’s little brother is being a jerk all around, always asking how much everything is going to cost for him (he lives in an affluent area and he makes fine money). His life revolves around cash and he makes snarky comments. Oh, and he’s a groomsmen. Also, we just found out that for some reasons he thought he was giving a toast (we never asked him to give one, he assumed) and when his mom found out (FMIL) she was upset and doesn’t understand why. Now there is family drama there that we are trying to solve.
4) I had to fight for MONTHS to get my fiance’s best man to get his tux ordered. That finally happened just a couple days ago, but it still bothers me that he took so long.
5) My fiance is in post-production and he has been working crazy hours (8am-past midnight) and I have had to pick up all the slack (with home life and wedding life). I have had to do all the communicating to vendors, ording all the DIY stuff, DO the DIY stuff, etc. I’m exhausted and I know it’s not his fault but it’s really hard doing this alone. (All family is out of town/state, as are ALL bridal party)
6) Our wedding planner is so flaky that I’m having to keep track of everything myself. She doesn’t follow up with all emails, contracts, etc. She is supposed to be the “best” in her area and I’m so tired of her not getting back to us. We have talked to her multiple times about getting back to us about things and she will for a bit, but then she goes MIA again. I’m terrified I can’t trust her to bring everything together. We were supposed to have a call tonight, but again, she flaked on us.
7) This may seem stupid and I’m sure it’s VERY common, but people aren’t turning in their RSVPs. They are supposed to be back to us in 3 days and we are missing more than a 3rd of our RSVPS…and NONE of my bridesmaids have even sent them back. This may seem dumb because I obviously know they are coming, but the RSVPs are important because people need to select their meals. So I know starting next week I have to start chasing people down.
8) On top of the wedding planning, I am dealing with health concerns. I have always struggled with digestive issues and this week I’m going in for an EGD and a Colonoscopy. I know it will be fine, but it’s just another thing on my list.
All in all, I know some of these things are small details that everyone experiences but they all feel like they are a big deal when they all happen at once. I’m so stressed that I’m telling my fiance that all of this is making it hard for me to even look forward to our big day…which we’ve waited 9 years for. I guess I’m just hurting because it feels like everyone is making this harder on me and it’s very hurtful. I don’t mean to sound like a child when I say that…but it is. It sucks. I just want to be able to look forward to my wedding and I feel like I can’t. I keep trying to look at the big picture, but it’s hard when planning and dealing with all of this is so emotionally exhausting.
Thank you for letting me vent. Holding all of this in has been really, really hard.