(Closed) everyone says send invites first…..

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
320 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Wynn Las Vegas/Bouchon Bistro

Man, that sucks that your friend is deciding between two weddings! However, there is no first-come first-serve rule about invitations to weddings or social events — unless, of course, your friend has already RSVPed to one. Then, it’s only polite to attend the first event that you actually commit to.

 STDs are to give people the heads up that your event is taking place on a certain day and time, not to call “dibs” on certain people who receive them.


Post # 4
869 posts
Busy bee

I honestly think it depends on how close I am to each person.  Just because I receive an invite/save the date first, doesn’t mean I’ll go to that wedding.  I’d also have to consider the financial costs of going to each as well.  Some people simply can’t afford to attend an out of town wedding.

Post # 5
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would definitely not base which wedding I attended on whose invite I received first!

Post # 6
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yeah…invites are not on a first come-first served sort of thing.  If a friend of mine had a wedding and my Future Sister-In-Law had her wedding the same day, I would go to the Future Sister-In-Law wedding.  It wouldn’t even be up for debate.  

She may be waiting on the other invitation to look at the location–all other things being equal, I would definitely look at the venue.  An indoor, in town venue in July is way more attractive to me than an outdoor, out of town venue in July.  There are lots of reasons to wait and see which invite she is going to accept–just give her space and chill.  There will be tons of other people at your wedding.

Post # 7
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would never choose which wedding based on whose invite arrived first. I would choose based on how close I am to that person. 

Post # 8
822 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would also choose based on how close i was to the person.  i would send a gift or money to the other person.

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