Post # 1
I always thought I would want a child free wedding but now that I’m engaged and we’re planning, I’m starting to realize that I couldn’t imagine not having all my cousins at the wedding. Most range in age from 14 – late twenties. The younger teens are very mature for their age and always manage to entertain themselves without being disruptive to anyone else.
The problem is two of my cousins are 4 and 7. I REALLY don’t want them at the wedding. I’ve thought about just letting it slide and inviting them but these girls are ALWAYS the center of attention and if they’re not, give it a few minutes and they will be. Their parents are very doting and protective and will do anything to make sure their girls are happy as can be no matter how much of an inconvenience it might be to everyone else. I can already hear them fussing during my ceremony.
The other thing is I really love their parents and they’re such a blast when their girls aren’t present. They let loose and get to be normal adults for a couple of hours.
So how do I got about this without offending anyone? I don’t want them to show up at the wedding and see everyone’s kids but theirs. Help!
Post # 3
Maybe you could make it a rule across the board that no one under 14 can come? Including friends kids? Unfortunately, I think they might be a little upset no matter what.
Post # 4
Are they local? Maybe call them up and offer to pay for a sitter? In a very assertive way? Something like, “I just wanted to ask for the name of your girls’ favorite sitter so I can be sure she’s available the night of the wedding.” If they’re from Out of Town you can always just say straight out that childcare will be available during the reception and they should take the hint.
It’s tricky because you can’t exclude them straight out, but perhaps being pre-emptive will solve the problem.
Post # 5
Agree with MissASB. Say no one under 14 (or even 13, and you can blame it on the venue!)
Post # 6
I’d make a no one under 14 rule. Will this exclude some (or hoepfully a lot) of kids on FI’s side? You could say you made the rule for his family but you cant make exceptions for yours 🙂
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
Ditto, hotchildinthecity, Make it 13+ and, if you must, blame it on the venue.
Post # 8
I’d go the sitter route as well, and make them activity bags that are age approriate.
Post # 9
Make the wedding no kids age 14 and under.
Our wedding will be no kids 12 and under. No one has challenged me yet! I did explain to my Aunt that the wedding was an evening wedding and we thought it was not small kid friendly- go figure she agreed with me!
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
How about if you have a babysitter on site? That way they can bring the kids, but they won’t interrupt the wedding fun? You could probably find someone on Craigslist or a friend of a friend who’d do it for cheap.
Post # 12
another 13+ vote here – i think its more than fair to have an age limit, especially as one is only 4yrs old
Post # 14
There is a huge difference between a 4/7 year old child, and a 14 year old teenager! 14 year olds baby sit 7 year olds!
I would say the venue has a rule about 13+, you can say for insurance reasons and to avoid property damage.
Post # 15
I also agree with creating a rule of 13/14+. It totally makes sense ad there is a huge difference between a 7 year child and a 13 year old child.
Post # 16
I’m going go with the 13+ rule. I’m a little nervous about telling them but I think it’s best to be up front and honest. Thanks for everyone’s input!