Post # 1
Anyone else out there getting married and sick of hearing this?! First everyone is up our butts about getting engaged, then once we do all we hear is, oh everything changes once you get married.
Like in really negative ways, like my Fiance always helps around the house, and he does all the handyman type stuff like if the drain is clogged he fixes it. Or just how happy we are and how we get along so well.
The response is, well everything changes when you get married..
It makes me want to be like, well then…why should we want to get married? We’re happy now, and the way you make it sound as soon as our vows are over we will start to be miserable, so why should we get married???
Ugh it just makes me so mad!!!
Anyone else having this issue?
Post # 3
Don’t let people drag you down. Some people have awful marriages and shouldn’t have been married. Marriage is awesome!! Look towards older couples who have awesome marriages. They do exist!
Honestly the downers are awful! I had SO many people write on my facebook wall “don’t do it!”. Really??? I post that I’m getting married and that’s all you can say?
Post # 4
You should just say
Was that supposed to be rhetorical or do you think that was an original statement? 🙂
It’s cheesy and silly people are just not smart. LOL Some people.
Post # 5
Yes, we heard this all the time!! And mostly from SINGLE guy friends. Ridiculous!
But actually, marriage did change our relationship…for the better. So suck it all you naysayers!! 😉
Post # 6
Honestly, one of my bosses is like this. Divorced 3 times and always says “that’s why it didn’t work, everything changes” or comments on how fit my Darling Husband is “that’ll definitely change once you’re married”. What, my husbands desire to workout??? uh… he does that for himself, not for me! I doubt he’ll be like “oh, I’m married now, I think I hate working out!”.
Post # 7
@ames12708: Yeah, it does change….. it gets more AWESOME 🙂
Don’t let miserable people drag you down!
Post # 8
Ugh, just smile and walk away. Or, tell them yes, it will change – we won’t have a wedding to plan and stress over anymore, so life should get much easier 🙂
Post # 9
totally can relate! i can think of one person in particular who says things close to a daily basis like, “well you just wait until you get married!” annoying!
Post # 10
@ames12708: I have heard that. I heard it all through my engagement period and now that I’m married.
I had my uncle ask if I was ready to get married because I was still young enough to come play the field
I’ve had older ladies in horrible marriages ask me if my husband is a great as he appears and then get upset and imply I’m lying when I say that nothing has changed and that he’s still great.
People are cynical about marriage and love right now. Don’t let them bother you!!
Post # 11
I agree i’ve heard a lot, too. but mostly from non-married people. Or married people with bad marriages! lol.
Don’t let it bug you. Instead surround yourself with people who’ve had lasting marriages, with other couples your own age who love being married.
Yes, things change. But honestly I’ve been married for 2 weeks and nothing has been a bad change. Life is more convenient now, I love living alone with my husband, we have privacy (we didn’t during engagement) and life’s great! 😀 Hope that helps a little! Marriage can change things but most often than not… it can bring the most awesome changes.
Post # 12
I’ve heard that a lot, but I haven’t heard it in the negative way… more like… the relationship is different.
And actually, I think to a point it could be. I’m not sure the change is going to be huge for us based on where we are now, but we had a long dating period, a breakup, and then when we got back together we were in it for good (after some big changes for each of us)… which is why we’re getting married.
And the second time around (going on 22 months counting engagement time) has been WAY different. The whole way we problem solve and communicate changed. There’s a lot more commitment than there was before. So I get the impression that’s the big “marriage” change – part of a process, not necessarily one that happens right after the actual wedding.
We’re screwed if he stops taking out the trash, though. I’m not really 100% on top of house work outside of keeping a clean kitchen/bathroom. 😉
Post # 13
Thanks for the positive words,
I’ve heard it from everyone…even an older couple who I respect so much they are close family friends and seem to share an excellent marriage. Hearing it from them that was what really got my going are you serious?
Sigh but other than that pretty much everyone else I’m around, is miserable, through there own doing in their marriages.
Why do people stop communicating? I feel like that is 90% of the problem for everyone I know, they quit talking, and by talking I mean sharing, they don’t share their lives anymore.
Post # 14
that’s stupid. it’s just a piece of paper. I had been living with my SO for 4 years when we got married and our lives have been exactly the same for over a year since. the same goes for literally all of my married friends.
you know when things change and do get challenging? actual life changing events, like moving in together for the first time, having kids, starting school, finishing school, losing a job, illness, etc. the signing of a piece of paper does not change lives.
Post # 15
Marriage definitely changed our relationship for the better so I just give those people a pitiful look in response 🙂 When people make those comments, they are usually projecting their negative feelings about marriage on you so don’t take it personally.
And people were up our butts about getting engaged too, it’s probably the thing that has driven me th emost crazy so far in life when it comes to unsolicited comments.