(Closed) everything changes when you get married! VENT

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t let people drag you down. Some people have awful marriages and shouldn’t have been married. Marriage is awesome!! Look towards older couples who have awesome marriages. They do exist!

Honestly the downers are awful! I had SO many people write on my facebook wall “don’t do it!”. Really??? I post that I’m getting married and that’s all you can say?

Post # 4
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You should just say

Was that supposed to be rhetorical or do you think that was an original statement? πŸ™‚ 

 

It’s cheesy and silly people are just not smart. LOL Some people.  

Post # 4
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012
Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Yes, we heard this all the time!! And mostly from SINGLE guy friends. Ridiculous!

But actually, marriage did change our relationship…for the better. So suck it all you naysayers!! πŸ˜‰

Post # 6
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Honestly, one of my bosses is like this. Divorced 3 times and always says “that’s why it didn’t work, everything changes” or comments on how fit my Darling Husband is “that’ll definitely change once you’re married”. What, my husbands desire to workout??? uh… he does that for himself, not for me! I doubt he’ll be like “oh, I’m married now, I think I hate working out!”.

Post # 7
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@ames12708: Yeah, it does change….. it gets more AWESOME πŸ™‚

Don’t let miserable people drag you down!

Post # 8
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Ugh, just smile and walk away. Or, tell them yes, it will change – we won’t have a wedding to plan and stress over anymore, so life should get much easier πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
41 posts
Newbee

totally can relate!  i can think of one person in particular who says things close to a daily basis like, “well you just wait until you get married!”   annoying!

Post # 10
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@ames12708: I have heard that. I heard it all through my engagement period and now that I’m married.

I had my uncle ask if I was ready to get married because I was still young enough to come play the field

I’ve had older ladies in horrible marriages ask me if my husband is a great as he appears and then get upset and imply I’m lying when I say that nothing has changed and that he’s still great.

People are cynical about marriage and love right now. Don’t let them bother you!!

Post # 11
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree i’ve heard a lot, too. but mostly from non-married people. Or married people with bad marriages! lol. 

Don’t let it bug you. Instead surround yourself with people who’ve had lasting marriages, with other couples your own age who love being married. 

Yes, things change. But honestly I’ve been married for 2 weeks and nothing has been a bad change. Life is more convenient now, I love living alone with my husband, we have privacy (we didn’t during engagement) and life’s great! πŸ˜€ Hope that helps a little! Marriage can change things but most often than not… it can bring the most awesome changes. 

Post # 12
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve heard that a lot, but I haven’t heard it in the negative way… more like… the relationship is different.

And actually, I think to a point it could be. I’m not sure the change is going to be huge for us based on where we are now, but we had a long dating period, a breakup, and then when we got back together we were in it for good (after some big changes for each of us)… which is why we’re getting married.

And the second time around (going on 22 months counting engagement time) has been WAY different. The whole way we problem solve and communicate changed. There’s a lot more commitment than there was before. So I get the impression that’s the big “marriage” change – part of a process, not necessarily one that happens right after the actual wedding.

We’re screwed if he stops taking out the trash, though. I’m not really 100% on top of house work outside of keeping a clean kitchen/bathroom. πŸ˜‰

Post # 14
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

that’s stupid. it’s just a piece of paper. I had been living with my SO for 4 years when we got married and our lives have been exactly the same for over a year since.  the same goes for literally all of my married friends. 

you know when things change and do get challenging?  actual life changing events, like moving in together for the first time, having kids, starting school, finishing school, losing a job, illness, etc.   the signing of a piece of paper does not change lives. 

Post # 15
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Marriage definitely changed our relationship for the better so I just give those people a pitiful look in response πŸ™‚ When people make those comments, they are usually projecting their negative feelings about marriage on you so don’t take it personally.

And people were up our butts about getting engaged too, it’s probably the thing that has driven me th emost crazy so far in life when it comes to unsolicited comments.

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