Post # 1
Hello Bees!! Hope everyone is have a super fantastic day!! I love this website so when I decided I needed to vent today I knew just the place!!!
So I’m one of those people who have been “engaged” for awhile (over a year probably closer to 2 at this point!) and never bothered to set a date… We were relatively content to be engaged and nothing really changed much (meaning no saving, no planning, no nothing). I found that I didn’t want to be bothered (or either I stalled out at deposit time)… Then late last year my baby sis got engaged and then something happened…As I watched her make decisions (pick colors, choose bm dresses and hire help and all that jazz) I said Hey “I” can do that!! But I really couldn’t!! We literally couldn’t decide if we wanted to have a wedding, start saving for a house or semi-elope (an immediate family only kind of situation)!!!
Then one day I was driving down the street coming back from lunch and I looked over and there it was… Cobblestone farm. I think it’s great!! So once we had chosen the venue everything started falling into place (well as much as it can when you start planning a wedding on short notice, with no real budget)…
At this point it’s the end of march 2011 and we set a date for august 25th of 2011 (it’s a thursday but we were okay with that because A. it’s cheaper, and B. they are BOOKED! they only had a few more thursdays left during decent weather).
Okay so we’ve established that as a couple we don’t have very much money and we don’t have a budget (or very much put aside for a wedding) so needless to say money is T-I-G-H-T !!
Anyway Ya’ll I am stressed. I generally am a firm believer in retail therapy, but we are supposed to be focused on saving for wedding stuff so what’s a girl to do!!!
I suddenly feel like every dress, shoe and jewelry statement piece is calling me…
How does everyone keep from getting distracted? Did you come across something you HAD to have even though it was totally not in budget?
Post # 3
Yup. I’m on a 6k budget, and I keep coming up with things that I love.
First there was the BHLDN dress that was 3x my dress budget. I went and tried a bunch of dresses that were in my budget, and had to clean FI’s jaw off the floor after I found the perfect one – for half my budget. So happy I didn’t rush into the decision and spend a ton of money!
I totally HAD to have a rose petal aisle, but just couldn’t justify the $150+ expense for something I’d stand on for 20 minutes. So we decided to skip it and have flower pots instead that we were going to get for the yard anyways. It took me a few days to get over it, but now I’m excited about making flower pots with purple pansies and herbs from our garden.
Then there were the shoes. I crushed on Kate Spade shoes. Did the same thing wtih my dress, and found a gorgeous pair for a third of the price.
If you’re on a budget, I strongly recommend being very clear on your priorities, and then just take a few days before buying once you something gorgeous and above your budget. That said… I also recommend splurging on SOMETHING pretty for yourself. Just spend some time choosing what that will be!
Post # 4
I know its hard – but if you don’t know it exsists, then you don’t know what your missing 🙂
We were saving for our huge downpayment for our house, while paying for the wedding – so I had to resist major personal temtations (i.e. no new clothes or shoes other then a Rehearsal Dinner dress & wedding shoes for about 7 months! And this is HARD for me!)
I will say picking an outdoor venue will allow you to have very simple decor b/c your backdrop (i.e. your venue) is gorgeous on its own – this is one main reason that I choose to get married at a venue similar to yours.
So lastly – just don’t look – don’t go to the mall, don’t browse online shopping sites. If you need to buy one item look only at that item (for example, if you know you are shopping for wedding earings, don’t wander over to the shoe site or the shoe dept.)
You can do this!!
Post # 5
I just spent $100 on a brooch and comb from etsy.com. This is in addition to the $100+ dollars I am spending on beads to make my necklace. I also spent over $100 on yarn to knit myself a bolero to go along with my dress. Oh – and $125 sandals. At this rate my accessories are going to cost me more than my dress!!
Post # 6
There were many things that were not in budget. I mean it’s your one and only wedding day and you want it to be perfect. If you sit down and write out a budget it might be easier to stick to.
Post # 7
Oh, yes. I tease my Fiance about him knowing he’s marrying a “magpie”. (Very popular term used for people who like to collect shiny stuff… in my area, anyway.)
If it’s shiny, I tend to gravitate towards it, lol. I’ve also been called “flighty” and, yeah, I am like a butterfly, flittering from one flower to the next… 😉
HOWEVER, I also know that certain things just are NOT gonna work for our wedding and whether or not it’s affordable.
Here’s what I suggest: Ask yourself if will fit in with the wedding. Then ask if it can be used again after the wedding. Then ask if it’s worth x-amount of dollars. Then ask if it’s something you could get elsewhere CHEAPER. THEN ask if you really, absolutely positively NEED it.
Usually, the first question will nix over half the stuff for me. Then what’s left, the second will nix another half. Usually by then I’ll be asking my Fiance and he asks the rest, lol. If the answers all point towards getting it, I’ll give it a day or so to mull over THEN decide to get it or not.
Post # 8
Oh sweet Bat Man, yes.
We are on a budget (5k) as well as budgeting for home repairs, but there are so many nice thiiiiiiiiiiiiings that my inner materialism wants to buy.
Damn summer lines with cute dresses and sparkly things *grumble grumble*
Post # 9
we don’t have a budget! lol
we’ve been engaged for 1 year and 6 months and finally tying the knot at the end of this month.
so our budget was 5k… because we didn’t know that parents would help.. then i decided that that was so unrealistic because a good photographer alone starts at 3k. so we uped it at 10k. i already knew where we were gonna get married because i fell in love with it when i first went there in 2007. very expensive place. my parents said they would pay for the reception. originally we were only going to have 50 people… but we couldn’t cut people so it’s at 75 and that’s 10k in food for the place. lol so we uped it to 18k… to accomodate the vendors… needless to say, we are now over 30k!!! and we have about 5k in payments to pay and don’t know how we’re gonna do that since we haven’t really been saving… for what we budgeted, our parents were gonna cover the whole wedding… but all the extra stuff we’ve been getting/doing… is making us cough up money now.
Post # 10
my TTD session was something i HAD to do and was not planned in the budget! absolutely no regrets and worth every penny!
Post # 11
Thanks so much for the words everyone… I’m going to try to rain it in so that when that extra special must have thing comes across my vision I can snap it up!! lol
@AnnieAAA You are a disciplined woman!! I don’t know if I could do that (and especially for that long!). I have to take it one life changing event at a time!! lol
@ Ryna We are definitely going the cheap route…I designed the wedding decor myself and I made sure we didn’t get anything that we don’t plan to use again…Plus we are getting the friend discount for our photography, DJ services, favors and desserts… I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to say no to the things that I want!! I’m being good in one area so I’m bad in another! lol
@spoonoutmyheart I wish we had more family help but money’s super tight in my family (and my sister is getting married this year too)… I hate how everything wedding related is so expensive!! Our friend is going to do our pictures for $350 bucks…Otherwise I’d be taking pictures myself!! Anyway I know making those payments will be hard but It must be kind of fun to all of the suddenly be able to have all the wedding bells and whistles!!!
Anyway, Excuses, excuses… I’m going to give myself some tough love…Lol. I probably should give myself a budget too!!
Post # 12
Yay! I love seeing an Ann Arbor venue on here! Cobblestone Farms is awesome! How are you planning on decorating the place?
Post # 13
@rachey Isn’t it beautiful!! Every time I drive by I think I can’t WAIT to get married there!! Anyway I’m obsessed with candles and paper lanterns so we are going that route… Paper lanterns from the ceiling and all that… I’ve gotten them in various sizes and in our wedding colors (pink, orange and white) i can’t fathom how we’re going to get them all up there though… It’s sure to be an interesting day!!
Post # 14
Professional Photography is mine.
I was planning on just having two guests, one who is a photographer affectionato with a decent camera and the other is a professional photographer for the Army (hardly the same as weddings! lol) take our photos and hope for the best.
Now I wish I could afford someone at least for the ceremony and some after photos but they are all over a grand.
Post # 15
it was easy for me to part with a lot of the little things and focus on the bigger ticket items- I knew I wanted to spend my money on venue, food, photos, other things had to just get cut!
Post # 16
Yes.. there are plenty of things that I just have to have.. and thats why we are a few grand over budget atm 🙁 Damn you shopping addiction!