(Closed) Everything is changing, how do I deal with the anxiety and continue to be “me”?

posted 7 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Oh wow, I can totally see why you are feeliing this way! I really can’t lend any advice, because I have never been in this situation (well, I am currently trying self employment, plus having thyroid issues have kept me from really starting, so hubs and savings are paying our  bills right now, so that I totally get) but I just wanted to offer ((HUGS)) to you. I wil suggest spending as much time with friends and family as possible right now, and get people to help you pack up. When we moved from my FIL’s to our house (15 mins away from our parents, because we couldn’t bear to move out of state just yet,planning to in about 5-7 years) we have friends help us pack, move and repack. They were all more than willing to help, and all’s I had to do was feed them and provide beer.  Do you have hobbies? Don’t stop doing them, or if not, try to acquire some before you move, so you can keep yourself busy once there.

((HUGS)) again

Post # 4
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t have any advice but I understand why you would feel that way. It can’t be easy to have to up and change every single thing in your life. (((hugs)))

Post # 6
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What your feeling seems totally natural. I would feel the same way too!

Though I agree that these are good things in the long run, it can be difficult to start fresh.

I think that you should take some time to spend with loved ones. People that you may not be able to see for a while when you move. Maybe have a dinner party to celebrate these changes. 

I know that everything will work out soon. 

Good luck and hope you feel better!

Post # 7
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@KatNYC2011: Maybe you can look online before you go to find spots in the UK that you can ride at. There might be forums and such. It would be a good way to make friends and find info on your new home. 

Post # 8
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

omg.  xanax script ASAP.  lol sorry you’re going through that. i don’t know what to say other than just hang in there and if you can afford it/find time, maybe talk to a professional on how to cope with all of this. 

are you going to work after you get situated in the UK?  that’s A LOT to have on your plate, i don’t know how you’re managing.

Post # 10
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

@KatNYC2011: I could have written this post last year!

Two moves, new jobs, lay offs, buying a home in a new state, etc. Everything happened within about 6 months and my head was literally spinning. Other than Fiance being laid off for a short period, it was all exciting stuff..but I felt so, lost? I admit I’m not very good with change, but to have so much change all at once was just plain scary. What helped me was making time for things that I enjoy. Weekly manicures, going to the gym, lunch dates with friends..whatever it is that you enjoy. You need to keep a few things constant in your life, while everything else is changing.

Now its been about a year and I feel like everything is back to “normal” again. Well, except for the 30lbs I packed on from all that stress eating! 🙂

Good luck!!

Post # 11
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@KatNYC2011: Oh dear, I didn’t even look at your screen name! Maybe your Fiance can try to find you a place to ride before you come over? Yes, it’s definitely a change to spend someone else’s money. But, you are so fortunate to be able to take some time off before you move, to really be able to do what you need to before you go.  Good luck with everything!

Post # 12
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Okay, you have WAY too much going on to stay sane! But focus on the positives:  You don’t have to work and you have plenty of money to live on (lots of people these days don’t have that advantage).  This in turn frees you up to plan the wedding (btw, I do feel for your long-haul to the Mid-Coast:).  You can also afford to hire people to help you pack/ship.  Done and done.

Now for the emotional part:  Moving to a new country is going to be so stressful. But yes exciting too. I would kill to be in your shoes right now. Seriously. And it’s bloody London!  How much fun is that?  And they speak English too-no language barrier (well, except for a few words here and there:)

I think with the upcoming wedding and the logistics of the move, it’s hard to see these things and I can see why you are so freaked out by these huge changes.  But try and focus on the exciting fun part and try not to worry about not being self-supporting right now.  It’s okay to lean on people once in a while.  Fear is a natural reaction but you’re about to have an adventure that lots of people would love to have and most will never experience. You lucky, lucky girl.  Just keep thinking that and everything will be fine:)

Post # 13
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m in a slightly similar though not quite as extreme situation.

Two years ago at this time I’d never had a boyfriend, lived 10 minutes from my parents, had gone to the same church my entire life, worked at a very steady job, and was pretty anti-social.

I’m now married, live in a new city, go to a new church, am unemployed, and am being thrown into social situations that I’ve never dealth with before. It’s freaking scary as hell.

You’ve gotta be really sure of your decision and then lean on things that you love. Facebook with friends, books you love, music you love, internet communities you can connect with, exciting things to look forward to.

The changes are crazy tough, but I think having the right perspective and trying to keep yourself open to the experience while having people to keep you rooted is really important.

Post # 14
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I remember you posting about the possibility of your Fiance moving to London for his job. I remember you posting when it become official. The uncertainty and scariness behind it all.

I guess what I’m trying to say from someone looking in it sounds like this decision was made as a unit. It is something both of you decided on.

Don’t look at it as losing you, look at it as moving to a new step of life. To the US. And the other half of your US is in London now.

I do believe experiences, people, etc help mold us into who we are. But just because you leave that place, those people does not mean you lose you.

Although I did not leave a job and move across the pond I did leave and move away from all that I know 8 hours away. When I did so it was not with as much blessing from family as you probably do now. So I understand the fear.

But you will be fine. You will be with your husband!!! Friends can be made. Jobs can be found. There’s one and only future husband to be. 🙂

And omg think about all the fun the two of you will have exploring London not as tourist but Londoners!!! 🙂

Post # 15
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

So, I am going through a lot that you are right now – I quit my job to travel through Asia for 6 months, am moving across the country where I only know my mom and husband, am nervous about the money, finding a new job, etc.

BUT

My identity is not tied up in my name, my job, my location. My identity is tied up in my desires, interests, like/dislikes, memories, experiences. And I take those with me wherever I am. I know I will be fine because I have all of that to fall back on.

I think you should re-evaluate what you use to define yourself.

The topic ‘Everything is changing, how do I deal with the anxiety and continue to be “me”?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors