- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
So recently I started a thread about how I was starting to get cold feet about my relationship with my fiance. I had found another man who completely swept me off my feet and was so stressed out because I didn’t know what to do about it. I promised an update, so here it is.
So, the “other guy” kind of dumped me I guess you could say. Like I mentioned in the last thread, he was really hesistant about getting too involved because he didn’t want to create any waves between my fiance and I. So, we made the decision that we shouldn’t talk anymore unless the situation changed. So, that’s over and I’m sad, but my focus right now is one savng my relationship with my fiance.
So in the last thread, I had also mentioned that my fiance is not motivated and that this is a HUGE concern for me. I’m currently going to school FT, and so I’m not in great fiancial shape either, but I work hard on everything I do and my motivation is to start a career so that we can build a stable life and do the whole kids and house with the white picket fence thing. Right now we live in a tiny apartment and can’t afford much of anything, and it bothers me that he seems so content with it. He keeps saying things like “Someday, we’ll have more money.” The things is that when I started dating him six years ago, he told me that he was working on getting a better job, and his situation hasn’t changed one tiny little bit. Nothing. I’ve been trying to get him to go back to school to work on his degree… I’ve showed him the FAFSA and where to find it, but the response I get is usually just “Well, book mark the page on teh computer for me and I’ll get around to it.”
This is my first semester back in school after taking a two-year break to work FT. I guess I kind of hoped that he would become more motivated once he saw that I was getting things accomplished, but he hasn’t. Nothing eveer changes. He gets up, goes to work, comes home and camps out on the sofa until it’s time for bed. That’s his life every day.
So we’ve been talking about breaking up. My sister has pointed out that I’ve kind of anchored everything on the vain hope that he’ll change eventually if I just wait long enough. I guess that’s true.
So with or without the “other guy,” I’m not sure we’re going to make it. I’m trying to find couples counselling for us, but we dont’ have any insurance. I’m running out of ideas, here… somebody throw me a lifeline?