Everything is falling apart, please help!

posted 2 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
2173 posts
Buzzing bee

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lover27 :  I’m really sorry, but this entire relationship sounds strictly transactional. I’m not trying to sound rude, so please don’t take it that way, but it sounds as though she’s young and wants to do young-girl things, while you’ve emotionally latched onto her. Neither of you sound quite mature enough to get married, and it sounds to me as though you need to gain some emotional independence. I don’t want to jump to conclusions and say you’ve been financially taken advantage of, but that’s how it seems from your description.

 

ETA: just saw that you guys actually got married and how she keeps acting…um, to be blunt—you are her ATM, and you think that you can buy her love (hence you throwing financial favors in her face when she’s being a brat). you are both too immature to be married. 

Post # 3
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

She sounds like a spoiled child who is using you for money and this whole thing is a trainwreck.

Post # 4
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

To me, the proposal shouldn’t matter and she is being ridiculous calling it ‘a curse’. Maybe it wasn’t perfect but it was still a proposal.  The ring too, it sounds like you really tried…maybe she does hate it but she should be more respectful and gracious about it.

I think she sounds very demanding and high maintenance and quite immature.  You sound like you are almost trying to buy her love. The whole thing sounds quite toxic.  I think you either need to come together as a couple in one place or separate for good. It’s clearly not working how it is. 

On a side note, which countries are you in and how old are you both?

Post # 5
Member
5041 posts
Bee Keeper

You’re her sugar daddy.

Close your checkbook.

Get your marriage annulled and go find yourself a girl in the same country at least. She can just keep f****** the guy on the side that she’s been f****** all along which is why she won’t refer to you as her husband. Man that’s a sweet long con she ran finding a sucker who would pay for everything with zero real commitment from her because you can’t even live in the same country.

Post # 6
Member
2173 posts
Buzzing bee

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annabananabee :  while I think you could’ve been a whole lot more gentle in this description, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head :/

Post # 7
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You need to disolve the wedding…. IN MY OPINION she is not mentally ready to be in a serious relationship and just wants to use you for money and will continue to disrespect you always. Please speak to a lawyer and get an annulment…  Best wishes  

Post # 11
Member
2173 posts
Buzzing bee

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lover27 :  yes, stop paying her bills like, yesterday. 

Post # 12
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

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lover27 :  Yes, absolutely stop paying her bills. Why do you want to continue allowing her to use you like this? 

Post # 13
Member
9164 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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lover27 :  I am going to agree with pp’s. This woman is taking advantage of you. You are a sucker.

How do you know she has pictures up of you? Because when you video chat you can see them? You do know that con artists do things like put up and take down decor depending on the role they are playing. I mean I am sure there are a few people on here who pull out the vase Aunt Mable gave them when she comes to visit so as not to hurt her feelings. 

A friend of my dad’s (divorced)  fell in love with a Thai woman whilst on holiday and your story reads exactly the same. In the end he found out she had five other guys on the go. She would suggest group holidays as well, so she didn’t have to spend all her time alone with him. Luckily he found out before marrying her.

Now I don’t think your wife is at the same level but she is clearly using you for money and clear evidence of this is that when you upped the ante on closing the geographical distance she baulked. Every long distance couple I have ever encounted have had solid plans on being together.

Post # 14
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Get a divorce.  She doesn’t love you, and she sounds awful.  Write the car off and hope you don’t end up paying alimony for anything.

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