- 3 months ago
I am having some issues with my late father’s wife. My father passed and before he died he had my half sister with this woman from Azarbijan. He was very reluctant to marry her but eventually did when my half sister was 7 years old. My half sister is now almost 18, but she is more like a 12 year old. I think she is on the autism spectrum but my father and his wife were too proud to get her the help she needs. My stepmother also didn’t feed my sister enough when she was little and would boast to me how much thinner my sister was compared to me (She was 4 years old and I was 14.)
My sister cannot do anything by herself. Her mother monitors her texts, emails and she cannot have any form of social media. She also couldn’t go to any clubs or extra cirricular activities in high school. When my dad was alive, he wasn’t allowed to talk to me on the phone while his wife was around. He had to sneak out of the house then call me or she would get really upset.
I met Inna, my stepmother when I was 9. She has proceeded to constantly belittle me, diminsh my accomplishments, spread lies to my family about me and more. When my father and Inna did marry, Inna didn’t let me come to their wedding. When my father died, she didn’t want any photos of me in the memorial serice slideshow. I could really go on and on. She is a very insecure and narcissistic person with an inflated self image of herself. When I got engaged, she never congratulated me only changed the subject to brag about my sister.
I really love my sister and we don’t compete, but Inna tries to make us compete and tries to pin my sister against me.
I would really like my sister to come to my wedding but I know if I invite her, Inna will come and drama will ensue. I really wish I could establish a closer relationship with my sister, but it’s difficult because she isn’t very independent and is controlled by her mother.
I sent my sister a graduation gift a few weeks ago and (like usual) I never got a thank you. It’s the end of May and my sister’s birthday is mid-June. I don’t want to send a birthday present because they never thank me anyway and I want to distance myself from them and not invite them to the wedding. But at the same time, I care about my sister.
What would you do in my scenario?