Post # 1
A year ago my ex-boyfriend and I broke up after being together for 10 years on and off. We were not engaged. For all those years, I took care of everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, making sure he was good. But he always cheated on me and all those times I was dumb and took him back. He said it was because he was unhappy and how he had to live with roommates for 4 yearsand tired of my secrets but he couldn’t afford to go half with me on rent because he bought non sense stuff. He left me once for another girl and moved with her and her kids but would text me when they were together that he missed me, then it didn’t work out so I allowed him to come back to me.we were together again for 6 years and yes he cheated after that and recently last year, he left me for a girl he met on Instagram. Lied to me and would go see her until I found out. At that time I was pregnant and he said that he was unhappy and it was an unfortunate situation that we were in but he’d be around. He never came around to any appointments or anything. He would text me asking if im ok and how I was but that’s it! In November of last year, he moved in with the girl he cheated on me with, we didn’t live together because I didn’t want to live with 3 other ppl. So he had nowhere to go and moved with her. She is 8 years younger than him and she told me that he loved her and I needed to accept he finally found someone he didn’t want to cheat on. She’s 23 and he’s 31. She has a good job and had her own place with a roommate. Well when they were barely together he did talk to some other girl cause she reach out to me last year but I told her I’m not the gf anymore so idc. The new gf found out and took him back, giving him another chance. The sad part is this in November the day after thanksgiving I went to the hospital because I was in excruciating pain and I had an infection that spread. I called my ex and he was on vacation with his Gf 5 hours from me. He told me that to be calm and I’d be ok. Never checked up after. That night a few hours later I lost my baby. He didn’t reach out until 2 days after telling me he was sorry and sad he wasn’t there for me and I ignored him. I felt so betrayed by him. He would text me every other day to check in on how I was doing I didn’t respond to any and he finally stopped. Since then we haven’t seen or spoken to each other. I see him still opening my Instagram stories or his gf and I don’t understand why. We aren’t friends on social media but my page is public and he left me? If he’s so happy why worry about me? I go to therapy and have been. A part of me still misses him and I want him to want me and I know that’s so unhealthy. I haven’t dated since and I am still heartbroken. Sometimes I cry. I miss him but he did me so wrong and I didn’t love myself something I’m learning to do. Why do men change for the next girl but still he looks at my stuff or maybe its her im not sure? She has me blocked lol. If he’s happy then why is he checking on me through my Instagram story when he feels like it. It angers me he even takes her where we used to go. But I get it she has $$ and doesn’t know him like I did. She did try to talk to another guy who is mutual friends with us and I know because we have mutual friends but he has a gf and the gf of his told my ex boyfriend but he just said ok and thanks for the interruption he didn’t care she was trying to cheat on him. Anyway I still hurt but I know in time I’ll be ok. Advice how to not miss or worry about him anymore and let go and be ok that maybe I trained him to be better for her?
Post # 2
crystaljn : For all those years, I took care of everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, making sure he was good.
There have to be more than a thousand posts on this board by women who don’t understand why this isn’t enough to prove their worth. It’s because you are worth more than being a great maid and making a man’s life easy.
Block him on IG, he’s a loser. Focus on you. Is there something you’ve always wanted to do? Do it. Take a class, take a trip, move to another city, whatever it takes. This is your life, it’s up to you to make it great. I am sorry for your loss. Don’t let it define you.
Post # 3
I am working on finding my worth. Its so hard when I was used to that for 10 years. I live about 45 minutes from him now because he moved with her to another city but he works by where I live but I havent ran into him thankfully. Thank you for the advice much appreciated.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2020 - City, State
TLDR- what the actual fuck. get your shit together girl.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry about the loss of your baby. How unimaginably traumatic.
And rest assured- your ex didn’t change for the next girl, he cheated on every girl you’ve mentioned in your post. He’s scum. It’s laughable that the girl he left you for was dumb enough to think she was special and he wouldn’t cheat on her- look how that turned out.
The only thing you did wrong was continue to take him back and do literally everything for him- you deserve so much better than that.
I’m so glad to see you’re in therapy. You need help processing all of this grief. Do you have family and friends around for extra support?
Please unfriend him and block him everywhere. You will keep getting hurt over and over again if you keep seeing his posts.
Close the door on this relationship, bee. Take the time you need to grieve the loss of your baby and who you wanted your ex to be. Please block him so you’re not tempted to ever take him back. Hugs
Post # 6
- Wedding: June 2020 - City, State
and I don’t mean to sound so harsh- but I stopped reading after like the third time he cheated and you took him back. definitely continue the work to get your self esteem and self respect to where it should be. relationships are not THAT complicated. That is just toxic.
Post # 7
This guy is an incredibly selfish piece of absolute dog shit and you should consider yourself blessed with a capital B that he’s not in your life anymore. Additionally, I’m so sorry about the loss of your baby. That just sucks so much. I suggest therapy for the way he treated you and for your loss. You deserve so much more and I think it might help you work on your self worth because you need to believe that you deserve better and are worth so much more. Hugs.
Post # 8
This whole scene is messier than the pile of deer turds my dog threw up.
Post # 9
My condolences on the loss of your baby. That’s a devastating thing to deal with- especially in a toxic relationship with a human shit stain.
I hope you do manage to work on healing yourself and sever all ties with him- block him everywhere. Get some therapy and raise your standards for person you deal with.
This is a whole entire hot mess.
Post # 10
Block him EVERYWHERE. Can you move to a new place so he doesn’t know your address? Change your phone number? Can you even relocate to another city/town? Put as much distance, emotionally at least, physically if possible, between you as you possibly can. Wear a rubberband on your wrist. Everytime you catch yourself thinking of him, snap it hard! Won’t be long then till you don’t think of him at all. You can do it 🙂
Post # 11
Oh hun, I’m sorry for your loss. I mean that. Now for tough love…
Girl! SLAP YOURSELF! SNAP OUT OF IT! YOU’RE SMARTER THAN THIS. He absolutely did NOT change for the next girl. Didn’t you say he was talking to another girl? Regardless, Homeboy is a straight up dick/bad person/wolf predator looking to prey on weak sheep, so none of his relationships will be normal until he fixes whatever hatred he has for himself women or whatever. He could NEVER be with a strong woman who has her shit together and is an emotionally complete woman, look at the pattern. So don’t worry about other girls or “him finding a woman who finally makes him not want to cheat,” it ain’t gonna happen at least not long term. Bank on it. The fact that you took him back all those times indicates you think you are of low value, this can be worked on. Please make this priority #1 and you’ll see it all clearly.
Post # 12
He did not change for her. I promise you. He is a garbage human. He did you a huge favor by leaving.
Please make all your social media private. And block him everywhere. He only looks at your social media to fuck with your head.
Kick him to the curb once and for all.
Post # 13
you need to stop concerning yourself with his current relationship. It’s none of your business and you’re just driving yourself crazy keeping up with it.
Block him on everything. Take a break from social media in general. Keep going to therapy. Take up a new hobby.
You need to figure out who you even are before you can begin to value yourself properly. Definitely no dating until you’re on more stable emotional footing.
Post # 14
Block him because you’ll never get him out from under your skin until you do. As for why he’s opening up your Instagram stories it’s probably because he wants to see if you’re posting a train wreck, like this post.
Post # 15
Have you had any therapy or counselling? I’m asking because your post is screaming out to me that you have no self esteem or self worth, you’ve let this guy continually cheat on you and disrespect you for 10 years! The only reason it’s stopped is because he’s decided he doesn’t to be with you any more. If he asked you to take him back I’m pretty sure you would, which is crazy. Why on earth have you allowed him to treat you like this?
I think you need therapy to explore the reasons why you put up with this horrendous behaviour for so long so you can prevent it ever happening again. Men like him can see women who are vulnerable and lacking self esteem a mile away, you’re more than likely going to attract another abusive guy because they will be looking for women like you who will put up with their shit, while decent men will find your lack of self worth a turn off.
I’m not saying this to be harsh or put you down, but you have serious problems that you need help to overcome otherwise you’ll end up in relationship after relationship like this or even worse. Also, stop following him on Instagram and checking what him and his new gf are doing, you need to stop wallowing and pining over him, see he’s not worth your time and take steps to move on. You should be angry about how he’s treated you, not sad because it’s over!