(Closed) Ex bridesmaid etiquette

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Yes, press the issue.  I would expect my money back ASAP!! 

Post # 3
3266 posts
Sugar bee

It depends on how the trip was set up.  But I would say that it is most likely similar to a deposit which you won’t get back. 

Your dropping out, shouldn’t have any financial implications to others.  So if you booked based on double occupancy, and now someone has to pay a single supplement then it would be appropriate for you to cover the additional money.


Post # 4
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

you should get your money back, if the moh wont return it, talk to bride about it…

Post # 5
7109 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think it depends on the logistics. Is your dropping out of the party going to increase the amount that others will have to pay? Did the MOH have to pay a deposit? If yes to either or both of these I wouldn’t press the issue.

Post # 6
8646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You absolutely should get your money back. 

Post # 7
6016 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

How much are you talking about?  I mean if it’s 100 I would think you just let it go.  You aren’t paying for the dress in the wedding.  If it’s over 100 i’d ask one more time for my money back…. but what are you going to do?  Take them to small claims court to get it back? 

Post # 9
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Hm. I see both sides. On the one hand, you obviously won’t be benefitting from anything purchased with that $200, so in that sense you deserve it back. However, on the other hand, the bachelorette was planned to meet a certain budget. Even if there are 4-5 other girls, that $40 or $50 more per person, and that’s asking a lot.

So, basically, if I were you I’d totally want the money back, but if I were in that wedding party, I wouldn’t want to cough up $50 because you and the bride had a falling out

Post # 10
1267 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

jamie.dickson.5074:  Listen, if this $$ was contingent on being a bridesmaid, the yes you should get it back. 

Post # 11
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel

jamie.dickson.5074:  “mutually agreed that I should no longer be in or attend the wedding”

This means the bride AGREED that you will not be attending the wedding which means it is really fucked up that your money is going toward her weekend away.  I would talk to the bride.  It really sucks but that other tacky ass MOH refuses to refund you the money.   I mean – unless you slept with the groom or something….it seems like you should be getting your money back.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Derp.
Post # 12
1799 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes. Get it back. Its polite to return money. Especially since you guys mutually agreed

Post # 13
1511 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think you are entitled to the money back from the bachelorette. The other bridesmaids have nothing to do with the falling out, and if they have already used the money to book everything, tough luck.

Post # 14
2095 posts
Buzzing bee

If you both agreed that you shouldn’t be in and aren’t even attending the wedding, then you should absolutely get your money back. 

Hopefully you can sell the dress on a resale site or something

Post # 15
3035 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

jamie.dickson.5074:  You can’t return the dress?? That seems odd unless you already got it altered.

Also, totally get your money back. SO RUDE of the MOH to not offer. Why should you pay for a trip you aren’t going on?

If  they are horrible people and don’t refund you the price you paid…that is your wedding gift! Seriously!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 2 months ago by  Boxerlover24.

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