- 5 years ago
Ok, regular bee here going undercover. And I know this may be long but I really really would appreciate any feedback.
So, I had a bridesmaid who I met in grade 1 or 2. We were best friends. Now, we are polar opposites. She lays at home soaking up welfare and getting pregnant. She is young and able and despite how this really irks me, we talk almost every day via texting.
Well she dropped out of my wedding because she got pregnant again. She even had the audacity to tell me to mail her her dress that I bought for my wedding because she said “you said you’d buy it for me, therefore it’s mine”.
I had not saw her in person for 4 years until I returned home last fall. I had a very busy weekend but we made plans for her to show up to my families Thanksgiving supper. She did not show up for the dinner. She showed up at 10:30pm drunk with her kids (after driving them) saying she went to her boyfriends grandmas birthday instead.
I have forgiven her for many things before. She slept with my one and only cousin. She once took her ex’s word over mine and almost destroyed our friendship. She couldn’t even meet me last fall as we had planned for months because her new boyfriend was more important.
She text me an hour ago asking me what I told the other bridesmaids when she dropped out. 2 of them she has never met, 2 of them went to elementary school with us but she does not talk to them and has not since 4th grade. I told her “oh I just told them you were pregnant and they understood” (they didn’t, they hate her, but oh well). She flew into a rage, calling me, swearing at me, telling me thats her business to tell. I apologized; I didn’t know it was a secret as she has already told everyone about the pregnancy. They don’t care anyways. She proceeded to scream and hollar. I am so done with her. There is just one problem.
She is one of very few people that know that I met Fiance when he was released from federal prison. I am not going to go into the details, but he made a big mistake as a teen and I can honestly tell you that I am not naive, I am not some bimbo who lurks around prisons looking for men. Falling for him shocked me more than it would shock anyone else. It’s extremely hard to explain to someone who doesn’t understand, so if you don’t understand, I’m sorry I know it’s hard to change opinions on ex-offenders. Just know that he loves me, treats me like a princess all of the years we have been together, and has taken that incident and furthered his life with it. I feel that I am the lucky one, as he changed my view on life completely. He has a boat load of support that backs this up and we are extremely happy together. He is now in his 30s and the most remarkable man I have ever met.
However, I am SO fearful of my family knowing. Judging. Not coming to celebrate our wedding because of his past. They absolutely adore him. Only my mother and uncle know. The rest of my family is extremely conservative so reactions terrify me. I love my family. Only 2 of my 5 bridesmaids know, and I sometimes feel like we have been together so long now that dropping that bomb on the girls would be like I was keeping a huge secret or lying to them for so long. Friends who do know have told me to keep it to myself, as it is no ones business and does not define him.
I am worried that ex bridesmaid is going to run and tell my family (starting with my cousin) now. I just want to end our friendship but not on a bad note. *sigh* sorry for the rambling.