(Closed) Ex Crashed My Wedding – DH arrested (My Real Life Wedding Nightmare)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

Is this even real. Why are there so many anonymous posts lately. 

Post # 32
Member
1065 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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missjz:  Agreed, and they are always crazy dramatic. But so many details that it’s hard to believe it’s fake. And you don’t want to insult someone by disbeliving them, if they’re telling the truth. It’d be cruel. But I know what you mean…

Post # 34
Member
5153 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

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missjz:  I’ve found that most of the 0 post fake people lately NEVER come back to update. Im more willing to believe if the OP comes back and posts more info or more details. I never believe the ones that are super dramatic and theres never a response from the OP.

Post # 35
Member
29 posts
Newbee

Wow! Thank you so much for this post. I have been in a happy relationship for 3 years and plan to be married this July.

This week, I was shocked when my Ex (who I havent talked to since the break up) texted me out of the blue. I didn’t have the number in my phone and he was texting in german – so obviously I thought it was the wrong number. Eventually it came out that it was him. I am so creeped out 🙁

Post # 36
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee

Judge. Judy.

Post # 37
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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Nightmarewedding:  Your venue lady sounds amazing!!! thats so good of her to do all that for you. 

Your Ex sounds like a douche… 

Maybe you could have a re run party for your reception? like a casual BBQ etc and you can whack your dress and tux on to finish off that dance?

 

Post # 38
Member
3585 posts
Sugar bee

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Nightmarewedding:  where these his actual friends that came. I mean the police officers that came did they know your ex. If so you may have something against him. He can’t have all his buddies arrest your dh. It’s called conflict of interest and they would have had to call another agency our or patrol unit. Look into and see what you can find out. Or if you just mean buddies by cops than there is nothing.  Thought I should add this.

Post # 39
Member
3307 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh I’m so sorry. I would go on the attack with your lawyer. There were certainly plenty of witnesses to exonerate your H. Your dirtbag ex is a wack job with a gun and a badge.  If I were you I’d like to see him lose both over this incident.

Post # 40
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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jillbean1217:  I think i posted but  I went anonymous with it. i don’t want to thread jack. Basically, my groom was pulled away by my coordinator during dinner to be informed that a person who wished to remain anonymous had ID’d our videographer as being on the sex offender list. She checked and he was there. For manufacturing and distribution of child porn!!!!! I didn’t find out anything until after the wedding was over, Thank God, but I was mortified. 

Darling Husband took care of everything with the coordinator and we still got our wedding video, though the reception was Not captured to our liking, with him having to be interviewed by police and all. 

Post # 41
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m sorry this happened! I just password protected all my wedding sites. I too have a crazy ex, and now am worried sick. 

Post # 42
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

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vanessa1359:  This.

Obviously I don’t know your laws, but if this had happened where I live then I see the following offences for a start:

– Public order

– Attempting to pervert the course of justice

Attempting to pervert is a big one, with a chunky prison sentence. You would, however, have to prove he deliberately injured himself. CCTV? With CCTV footage, even the CPS would probably be interested.

You would also be able to launch several IPCC complaints, including:

– Rules of evidence

– Threshold for arrest

And, most importantly:

– Conflict of interest

– Abuse of (a public) office (I don’t know if this is still applicable… the rules may have changed)

Your ex is not allowed to involve anyone associated with him during his professional life in any of his personal legal dealings. This complaint alone could well be enough for a suspension. The police don’t mess about if someone is accused of corruption, because there is a lower threshold for suspicion etc when police are involved. The logic goes that police should be above suspicion, so any offence is treated doubly seriously.

If he is convicted of any dishonesty offence, he would be immediately dismissed from the police, and would be ineligible for any public office position in future.

I disagree with people who say that complaints against police officers are not taken seriously… they are. Complaints from nut jobs with a grudge can seriously damage a police officer’s career, even if they have no foundation. A complaint with foundation will be treated very seriously indeed.

Also… I probably shouldn’t say this… but if ex is white and you or Darling Husband are non-white, you might be able to put in a racism complaint. Any racism complaint with even the slightest bit of foundation would almost certainly immediately end the career of almost any police officer, no matter how senior, where I live.

Post # 43
Member
2850 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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Nightmarewedding:  omg you pooor thing… karma will get your ex, I know it.. ugh that just sucks   🙁

Post # 44
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee

That is scary, but thanks for the heads-up. My ex was a cop (and if he was drunk I wouldn’t put it past him to pull some bullshit like this). Even though I no longer have contact with him on facebook, it doesn’t mean he couldn’t be following me elsewhere.

Someone else mentioned your ex could dismissed for being charged with a crime and they are absolutely right. Just being charged with trespassing might be enough to get him kicked off the force, though I doubt it, more than likely he’d get a slap on the wrist. Cops really do have the “brotherhood” mentality, even if one of their own is obviously breaking the law. My ex even said if he caught another cop drunk driving he would just drive him home, since they can lose their job over it. Even so, I thought doing so would be despicable. If they can’t live by the same law they uphold, they do not deserve to wear the badge.

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