- 4 months ago
- Wedding: January 2010
I am very confused about what to do and any advice that you could give me would be deeply appreciated.
I was in love with this guy during my uni days for 3 years and we spoke to each other a lot, and texted a lot too. I finally told him how I felt about him but he didn’t say anything back to me at the time. I found out from elsewhere that he had been in a relationship with someone for a year and felt that it was not appropriate for me to be in touch with him following this. So we didn’t talk for a year thereafter.
Just after our farewell night, he drove me back to my home in his car and said that he wanted to kiss me. (he had broken up a few months ago with his gf when this happened) I felt like guilty at this time as I was in an online relationship with someone and told him that this would be my first kiss and I would like to save it for the one I get married to.
He respected that and we didn’t speak again for 9 years until now.
I got married to my husband soon after our online relationship became more real and I have now been married for 8 years and we have a little boy together. I live with his parents and I am very happy in general with everything other than feeling emotionally unsupported as my husband wont back me up during arguments with his family, but this is a different issue.
I feel that I have never been able to get over my uni crush him completely. I dream about him very often too maybe every few days and used to check his FB posts every now and then. He got married to the girl he dated in uni 3years ago too.
Last month he was visiting the city I am settled in (different country) with his parents and wife and got in touch with me regarding places to visit, football match tickets etc. I helped him organise tickets for the games he wanted to watch for cheap and theatre tickets too. I went to meet him and his family and his wife and family were lovely to me.
However, when I met him, all my feelings came gushing back and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I went to lunch with him the day his family departed and he was staying back for a couple of days more for work commitments. He told me that I got married too soon too quickly, very suggestively. I told him he was lucky to get married to his long time girlfriend. He said he didn’t feel lucky and felt that he was forced to get married by his parents and that he didn’t feel this would have been the right thing to do. He said I should have waited for him and that he was too confused during university days to realise and understand his emotions. He was in a relationship with his gf with a lot of breaks in between.
During lunch he was very courteous towards me and even took care of me when I touched a hot plate with bare hands by mistake. (my husband never does this and just gets embarrassed by me in public)
He called me to visit him at his rented apartment the morning before he was flying and I went to see him. We ended up kissing and I felt the urge from both ends to have sex. I however stopped him as I felt very guilty considering we were both married and I had a child too. That we love our partners very much.
He respected my decision and didn’t force me into anything.
When he flew back he said he really felt like making love to me and that he would always regret it. I said to him it was wrong and even though I felt the same way it would make things very complicated. I told him he should try to reignite his relationship with his gf.
He didn’t reply to this and just sent a smiley looking up (which I don’t know what it means)
I texted him that I wanted to speak to him one last time just for the sake of our friendship but he didn’t reply again.
We didn’t speak for a few days and then he liked my post on fb without commenting.
Last night I had a wet dream about him which was so strange and I just don’t know what to do now.
I have no idea if I am ever going to get over him, I feel so so sad.
I wonder what you guys feel about this, I would be very grateful for any advice you would be able to give me.