Post # 1
My last boyfriend and I broke up over 2 months ago. About a month after the break up I started dating a guy and we hit it off so well. We became an official couple and over Halloween weekend we went to a Halloween party and some pics were posted on Facebook of us together. I’m not friends with my ex on Facebook anymore but he somehow found out about the new guy and had a crazy meltdown on me. He started texting me and calling me a cheater and being very verbally abusive. He made a post on Facebook saying that I’m a cheater and he told me he was going to tell everyone he knows. Unfortunately, he does own a business and knows a lot of people so if he wanted to, he could badmouth me to a lot of people. The crazy part is I wasn’t cheating on him at all with his guy. He just assumes I did. He threatened to contact people I work with and he even went as far as to contact my landlord and tell him that I was planning to move out soon and that I had destroyed the carpet in the apartment. My landlord said he called me a cheater and few other “choice” words in the text messages. Luckily my landlord didn’t at all get bothered by his attempts to get me “in trouble”.
I blocked his text messages and he is blocked on facebook but it’s really hard to stay mature and not let this affect me. My boyfriend has been very sweet and told me nothing my ex says about me will effect how he feels about me. I guess I’m just bewildered at his reaction and I’m having a hard time just letting go of my anger towards him. Any help bees?
Post # 3
@NightOwl27: I would be tempted to put something on my facebook along the lines of
“Some of you may have heard some nasty rumours or comments about me. I hope that you all take the time to think of me and my character before believing them. Break ups are hard on everyone involved, made harder by the spread of lies”
Post # 4
Oh my goodness! I would contact the police and ask what they can do in this situation. I don’t know where you live or what the laws are there. Some places will prosecute for phone or Facebook harrassment. Even if this is not possible in your area, you should be able to file an official report. If this escalates, it will be good to have this on record. Also, the police may call him to let him know a report has been filed so he realizes this is dangerous and unacceptable behavior.
I would not respond on Facebook. That is just participating in his game and could be seen as inciting an argument.
Post # 5
@NightOwl27: I don’t think you should respond in any way. You’d just be fanning the flames and making things worse. Just focus on yourself and the great new guy you have in your life. The only opinions that should matter are yours and his.
Also, real friends wouldn’t believe his crap to begin with, and anyone who does is not worth worrying about.
Post # 6
Thank you. I haven’t responded publically on facebook to anything he has said and a few hours after he made the post about me he had taken it down. We did, howewver, private message each other and I tried my best to stay calm. He hasn’t said anything to me in over 24 hours now so I’m hoping that he’s calmed down a little. I’m not worried about my friends believing him. I know that everone that matters knows me well enough to know he’s full of crap. I guess I’m really hurt by his attacks though. He said some really hurtful things. I get really mad when I think about it and I just don’t want to let it effect me. I also don’t want any drama with my ex to spill over into my new relationship. The first few months of a new relationship are magical and I don’t want the stress of something like this to take away from it. It was nice seeing that my boyfriend didn’t question my character and promised to not let anything he does or says come between us.
I did think about filing something with the police but I was unsure if they could legally do anything at this point.
Post # 7
I would get a restraining order. Sounds like you are within your rights to do so as he is starting to harass you. Call the police, they should know how to do that.
Post # 8
Also if a virtual stranger (your landlord) thought he came off as a douche, I am pretty sure everyone else will as well.
Post # 9
@NightOwl27: Oh sorry my impression was that you were worried about people believing it. Just keep in mind he’s doing it out of jealousy and spite, he’s showing his true colours while the man your with now is being supportive. He’s not worth the time even thinking about.
Post # 10
Oh jeez, I have been going through the same type of crap on and off for the last three years with my ex and his current wife. Ugh, I AM SO SORRY!!!!!!
Document everything…that’s what I’ve been doing, let the authorities know, they will probably say you cannot do much because he is threatening you and he has not physically hurt you, but make them aware. I could not get a R.O. since his wife hasn’t physically hurt me and technically her comments on facebook and pinterest aren’t enough for one but every state is different.
Do not react or respond to any of his comments, he’ll get more out of that than if you just ignore him.
Not to scare you but I’d keep my guard up if I were you. From the advise the bees have been giving me, you are better safe than sorry.
Post # 11
Sounds similar to FI and his ex, except there was no landlord situation. We started seeing eachother about 2 months after they broke up, and she started telling everyone that he was cheating on her. She said they were still seeing eachother at the time. ugh. We lost a lot of friends because of this drama
I hope you figure things out