(Closed) Ex FI getting released today…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Happy to see an update from you, OP.  I followed your last thread and I’m glad to see you have taken the steps to get away.  I’ve had the physically painful, heart is being ripped from your chest, how the fuck am I even supposed to keep breathing breakup.  Journaling helped me SO MUCH.  To just get everything out on paper (or digitally!) to be able to come back and look at it.  All the shitty things he did, all the feelings I had all displayed in front of me and helped me really see what a crap relationship it had been.  And I had to keep going back and looking at those words for a long time.  But…time helps. And you can’t stop it.  You keep breathing, your heart keeps beating, time marches on.  And one day, you will be ok again.  Then one day, you will be HAPPY again.  Then you’ll find love again and all that insane heartache you went through will still twinge a bit, but it will be worth it because you’ll be in such a good place. 

Also, I echo OP’s. He is NOT your problem anymore.  I know it is habitual to be concerned about someone you loved so much only days ago.  But you’ve got to just remove yourself entirely from his updates and remove yourself entirely from his life. Still rooting for you, Bee.  

Post # 33
Member
11346 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

I second the journaling idea, I think it would help you a lot.

In your situation, I would thank the sister and ask to be cut out of the loop *unless* his behavior becomes in anyway threatening.  That ‘closure’ comment is a little concerning.

Post # 34
Member
9921 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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beachykeenbee :  

Yes write it out for yourself.   It is so easy to only remember the good bits . If he is being kept in , it is for  damn good reasons, hospitals are usually only too glad to get  rid of patients.

 Whatever those reasons are, they are not  any longer your problem. As for his sister’s updates  I think you must ask ask her to stop, except in a case of your safety being in question , like him announcing he has to come and see you . 

Tell her thanks  for communication to date, but now the relationship is finished  you are working  hard on getting over it , and details and updates are merely upsetting and not useful or appropriate any more

She -and by extension the whole family – need to know that the  relationship is over .   

Post # 35
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

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beachykeenbee :  I hope everything is going well today 🙂

Post # 37
Member
754 posts
Busy bee

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beachykeenbee :  

Thinking of you today. Hope it turns out to be a drama free day. 

X

Post # 39
Member
4413 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Sending you lots of good juju today! ❤❤❤

Post # 41
Member
11346 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

That must be a big relief.  Let’s hope it holds.  He may be keeping a tight grip on himself to stay out of the hospital.

How did it feel to see him?  Did return the ring?

Post # 43
Member
11346 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

Just take it one day at a time.  Or one hour at a time, one minute at a time.  It will pass and you will be so much happier on the other side of it.  Baby steps.  Be gentle with yourself.

Post # 44
Member
754 posts
Busy bee

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beachykeenbee :  I’m really glad it’s all going well so far. 

I hope it continues this way. 

I think it’s good idea to hold on to the ring for a bit, give yourself time to get to a place where you’ve healed a bit more. Then when you’re feeling stronger, can deal with giving it back. 

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