(Closed) Ex FI getting released today…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

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beachykeenbee :  

Don’t reply! You’re absolutely right, he’s being one way with you and another way with everyone else. Keep protecting yourself by not letting him in. Metaphorically speaking. 

Are you sure his sister won’t bring him along to get the toiletries? It seems weird that he would even have remembered them? 

Post # 47
Member
6978 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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beachykeenbee :  I’m glad you didn’t reply. Stay strong! From the sounds of that text, he’s hoping that your break up is only temporary. He’s assuming you’re going to talk again soon and that everything is going to work itself out. So that means he’s going to be extra charming and nice for the time being. Don’t fall for it. 

Post # 49
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

I don’t like the sound of that text at all.  He’s clearly not hearing you.  He still thinks you’re going to talk and work things out.

Don’t respond to him.  I would deliver his personal stuff to his sister rather than having her come to your home.  Better yet, meet her for coffee somewhere.

 

Post # 50
Member
4099 posts
Honey bee

I have been following along with your updates, and I have to say, I find his text quite disturbing. He sounds controlling, and like he will refuse for this relationship to go anyway but his way. “He looks forward to talking” is so telling. Like, he doesn’t care what you said, he will talk to you and he will get his way. Hell to the no. You are smart to get away. I hope everyday feels better! It really is hard to move on, especially from a relationship that tears you down…I’ve been there, and I felt like I wouldn’t ever get passed it, but I did. I made a big deal of creating a routine for myself that involved going to the gym, cooking a lot, going out with people (even if it was running errands with my mom), and just trying to feel good in the moment and not let my head take over.

Post # 51
Member
6978 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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whitums :  ““He looks forward to talking” is so telling. Like, he doesn’t care what you said, he will talk to you and he will get his way.”

Yes! Sounds innocuous but is very very frightening. 

Post # 54
Member
2660 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry to hear this. I had a similar breakup, though our relationship was not as long or as serious. But he did end up in a mental institution after I phoned the police when he was making suicidal comments and hanging around outside my apartment/following me. 

Don’t let him or his family or friends blame you for this, and understand that you can’t be the one to get him through this. He is probably going to tell you that you’re the only person he can talk to, but you lingering in his life is only going to be damaging for BOTH of you. He needs to get used to the idea that you’re not in his life anymore and that he can’t make threats or act eratically to pull you back in. It’s very hard to stay strong, but if you ever start to cave to feelings of guilt remember that you’re doing it for both of you. 

Post # 55
Member
1299 posts
Bumble bee

Yikes. It might be time to change your number. I would get the ring back to him ASAP, certified mail. That way you have a record of it, and he will have to sign for it so he can’t claim he didn’t receive it.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. 

Post # 56
Member
2660 posts
Sugar bee

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beachykeenbee :  “I’m growing increasingly concerned that he is WAY far into denial about what is going on. I feel like an object of his affection.. not even a person to him.” 

THIS! this is how I felt. Like he couldn’t hear me, didn’t see me.. even though he wouldn’t stop calling or lurking around outside my house, sending me old photos. He’s not seeing you or hearing you. He’s likely not in his right mind and may do whatever he can to stop HIS excrutiating emotional pain at any cost to you. The only way to do this is to cut off contact. My ex harassed me for a year and a half and we only dated for 6 months. The only reason he stopped was because he moved across the country AND I ignored all of his messages. 

Don’t engage, it only makes it worse. If he sends you concerning messages – send them to his sister. people that are really in his life are the ones that need to look after him now. You staying in the picture is only going to feed into his fantasy that you are going to get back together. 

Post # 57
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

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beachykeenbee :  Oh dear. Texting happy pics is not a good sign. Are you still staying away from your house?

Please ignore his messages and don’t be afraid to call the police if you feel threatened in any way

Post # 58
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hi, I just want to say I was in a similar situation and the only thing you can do is flat out ignore him. Anything you say to him at this point will keep him interested in you, whether it’s ”I hate you” or something decent.. whatever you do don’t reply to ANY of his messages and don’t answer ANY phonecalls. It’s the only way. Block his number or change your number if you have to.

Post # 59
Member
10542 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Can you just block his number? I mean, you don’t really need to communicate with him any more right?

Post # 60
Member
6978 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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hikingbride :  I suggested that a little while ago, but someone else commented that that might not be a good idea. This way she has a record of him constantly trying to contact her after she’s told him not to. She might need to use these texts later as evidence. 

The topic ‘Ex FI getting released today…’ is closed to new replies.

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