(Closed) Ex FI getting released today…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 76
Member
4420 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

DO NOT ANSWER HIM. Do not engage. Ignore. Call and inform your local police station. Ask them for advice on how to proceed. You should also file a report with them as well.

Post # 77
Member
6945 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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beachykeenbee :  Keep reading your old thread over and over. That will give you the strength to continue ignoring him. Be confident in the fact that you’re doing the right thing.

Post # 78
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee

The police won’t really do anything about it at this point. He hasn’t threatened her. Being in denial isn’t illegal and he is keeping his contact at a respectable minimum. For my stalker boos, I usually get an app called Trap Call to get us through the rough patch. It unblocks blocked numbers and the premium level allows you to record calls. It’s extremely handy and keeps a nice record of communications.

Post # 79
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee

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beachykeenbee :  

Please take a minute and skim through this:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201606/how-leave-narcissist-good

 

He has convinced you that you are only “yourself” when you are an accessory to his life. That’s not true. You ARE YOU. It feels hidden right now, but you can find it again, once you cut the dead weight. Don’t sink back in, be strong!

Post # 80
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

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beachykeenbee :  Honestly, once I opened my eyes to what was going on and realized I didn’t actually love him (anymore), I was fine. I told my current Fiance about my previous relationship, and he understood that I was a little fragile at the beginning of our relationship. He helped me open up, have fun, find myself again, and truly fall in love with a great guy.

Post # 83
Member
2796 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Continue to be the black hole. No matter how much comes in, nothing comes out. Don’t reply, stop talking to your sister and Brother-In-Law, be situationally aware at all times – I would expect him to be waiting for you someplace. If you have a regular routine that he knows, vary it. Go to work earlier or later, leave at a different time, change the time and day you go to the gym, drive a different way to work. Go to a different supermarket. Bee, please be careful above all.

Post # 84
Member
754 posts
Busy bee

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beachykeenbee :  

Firstly, don’t worry, eyebrows grow back. 

I’m really sorry that your sister and brother in law aren’t supportive. I think you should tell them that unless they have experienced the things you have, they are not qualified to have an opinion on your safety in this matter and you would appreciate that, even if they think you’re overreacting, they bide by your wishes. 

And don’t respond to his text and try to send the ring back sooner rather than later?

Hang in there. You’re not overreacting

Post # 85
Member
11278 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

He’s counting on being able to look like the innocent victim in all of this.  Abusers pull this crap all the time.  Too often, Mr Pillar of the community turns into a monster at home.

So he just had to see your brother, did he?  Are you seeing how all roads in his life point to one common denominator–you.

As I said earlier, this guy knows how to terrorize you without saying or doing anything that would land him in jail.

No, he’s not hearing you.  But, you are not responsible for what he hears or how he reacts.  You’re only responsible for what you say.

If there is a DV facility in your area, I’d suggest that you attend some of their group counseling sessions.  They’ll believe you.

 

Post # 86
Member
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Regarding your anxiety, my advice is to live in the moment and deal with situations as and when they occur. Don’t anticipate things. If he writes to you, ignore it. Don’t anticipate what he might do tomorrow or the day after, because it won’t be helpful to you to live in the future worrying about various possibilities. So far apart from being in denial he hasn’t done anything terrible to you, most likely he won’t 🙂 Most people aren’t crazy enough to do serious harm to anyone. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be aware, sensible, with your dad in the house with you etc, but don’t make things harder for yourself by imagining the worst <3.

Post # 87
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

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beachykeenbee :  Nobody on this thread thinks you’re overreacting. He had you believing in his words, it’s no surprise your relatives are falling for the same ruse. Remind yourself that actions, not words, reflect a person’s true character. You’re wise to what’s up, keep trusting your instincts.

I hope you’re also taking some time for self-care, whatever makes you feel good about yourself. Have you ever tried meditating? It’s the best way to tackle stress and has helped me walk myself back from a full-blown panic attack many a time. I recommend this guided meditation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbXUAg5tA0s. It’s literally sitting and breathing, but it’s like putting your brain on Sleep Mode. When you finish your practice, you’ll be mentally charged and ready to face this challenge with clear sight.

Post # 89
Member
4081 posts
Honey bee

Holy crap he’s acting crazy. Take care of yourself! I’m wondering if you can add a new cheapy phone to your cell plan and use that new number until this crap stops? That way you could give your current phone to someone you trust (obviously NOT your sister or his), and if he starts getting crazy they can alert you or the police. Too complicated?? I can only imagine how hard it is to constantly get those texts when you’re trying to heal and create your new routine without him. 

Your sister and Brother-In-Law are being so incredibly disrespectful on top of everything else. I’m sorry. Keep those you trust close. 

Post # 90
Member
6945 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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beachykeenbee :  It sounds like he’s escalating. You still haven’t responded to a single text right? It’s obvious he’s not willing to take no for an answer. 

I think going to the police is a good move. Maybe they still can’t do anything yet, but at least then you’ll be on their radar. And they might be able to give you some good advice as to how to proceed. 

Have you seen the therapist yet?

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