(Closed) Ex FI getting released today…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 93
Member
10541 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’m so sorry you are going through all of this!

Definetly keep documenting everything he sends you! You will be glad you did if he really does escalate to stalking (not quite sure where he’s at now qualifies) because you’ll have a clear pattern of behavior and escalation documented from the very beginning.

Also, screw your sister and Brother-In-Law. I can’t believe how unbelievably uncompassionate they are being to you right now! And how presumptious of them to assume they know more about your relationship with him than you do. I’m so mad for you right now!

Post # 94
Member
7818 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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beachykeenbee :  Oh, Bee, I’m so sorry. I also thought to suggest getting a different phone. Your sister–I don’t know what to say. She should have your back. Your Brother-In-Law as well. I assume your father understands what’s going on?

Can you take a little time away from work and away from home while you work through your options to keep safe? Hugs. 

 

Post # 96
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

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beachykeenbee :  I believe you can go to the police with this, tell him you’ve known he’d try to see you and now he’s messaging you with intent to see you. Give them a good description of his looks and let them know you fear he’d try to harm you (some PDs recognize that emotional distress is harm, others, you have to elaborate for them). Request additional patrol cars in your area.

By The Way, DV shelters are either free or extremely low cost (less than $10), and free group therapy may also be available to you.

Post # 97
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

I was afraid he was careening toward stalker territory.  Document *everything*.  Does he have any access to firearms?

Definitely, go talk to the police.  Make sure they understand that this guy just got out of a mental hospital and you are fearful for your safety,  They deal with this stuff all the time.

My worry is that he’s escalating very quickly.  We don’t know how far he might go.  Did you contact anyone from his treatment team?

I was going to suggest that you take some vacation time and leave town for awhile.

Post # 98
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

Don’t worry about your sister and Brother-In-Law being duped.  Some of the best actors in the world are narcissists.

Post # 100
Member
3436 posts
Sugar bee

Others should chime in as they may know better….but is having your dad reach out to him and tell him to leave you alone an option? Would that work? 

Post # 103
Member
3436 posts
Sugar bee

 

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beachykeenbee : I agree with going to the police – describe how he is escalating and he keeps talking about an intent to see you – AND that he is in the national guard where there are weapons. 

Post # 104
Member
626 posts
Busy bee

Hi bee. First, go to the police station. Let them know that you clearly broke up with your ex, and he was just released from a mental institution and won’t stop sending you photos and texting about how he wants to see you soon. This is enough to involve them.

Second, you can contact the mental institution. The difference is that this time you are not contacting them to get information about HIM. That is information they cannot give you. You are calling to alert them to the fact that his behavior is escalating and you are afraid. You then ask them that if they have reason to believe he might harm you, they need to contact law enforcement. This is about your safety now. You are calling them to put it on the official record that he is acting unbalanced and threatening you.

Third, you are still handling this like a boss. I know this is just the internet but we’re all on your side and want to support you. If you need help finding anything, like a therapist or a women’s shelter, or you just need someone to chat with to get up your nerve to go to the police, you can message me.

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