(Closed) Ex FI getting released today…

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 106
Member
755 posts
Busy bee

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beachykeenbee :  you could call the hospital and just say that you aren’t trying to GET information about him but just want to give them information about how he is acting. I’m assuming he has some kind of follow up with them and it would be helpful for them to know how he is acting.

I would go to your aunt’s if you can. And leave your phone in a drawer at home. Take a cheap one for anyone who really needs to contact you.

Don’t tell your sister where you’re going. Since she can’t even respond to him reaching out with a polite ‘I’m sorry but it isn’t appropriate for us to communicate’, she doesn’t get to be part of any other plan.

And I suppose lots of people might react this way to a break up but I doubt they will also have just been released from a psychiatric unit and have a history of abusive unsettling behaviour! It’s not just his behaviour at the moment that is the worry!

Hang in there. Let us know if the police are helpful

Post # 107
Member
324 posts
Helper bee

This may not work, but do you know who is current therapist is? I might give them a call and tell them he’s veering into stalker territory and you intend on contacting the police. Maybe hearing that will possibly encourage them to bring it up more in therapy? Or at least give them the knowledge so they don’t encourage him to keep trying to fix things.

Post # 108
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

They can’t discuss his treatment with you.  But, you can let them know his behavior has become serious.  Again, something to document.

Post # 109
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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SLOBee :  

Oh, dear Lord, no.  *Any* contact via OP or via surrogates is going to be perceived by him as “She reached out to me!  Full steam ahead!”

Post # 111
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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pond :  

I would take your regular phone and only check it a few times a day.  He’s going to start blowing it up and you have to document, document, document.

As it dawns on him that you have, indeed, cut off his narcissistic supply, he’s going to really ramp it up.  Don’t be surprised if he suddenly starts accusing you of having someone else.

That’s the only explanation that will make sense to him.  Some other guy must have come along and turned your head.  Why else would you dump someone as wonderful as he?

Continue with No Contact.  Document everything.  Ignore your sister’s foolishness.  Get yourself out of town if you can.

And most of all–go talk to the police!  Let them know he has access to firearms.

Post # 112
Member
6978 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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beachykeenbee :  My only concern/worry is that you don’t have any proof that you’ve told him to stop to contacting you because the last you spoke to him was on the phone, right? That’s why I say talk to the police and at least get their advice. They might tell you that you need to show written proof that you’ve told him to leave you alone and he continues to harrass you. It all depends on the laws in your area. 

Post # 113
Member
324 posts
Helper bee

 It also sounds like the continued texts from him are becoming detrimental to your mental health. Do you have a trusted friend that you could give your phone to for a while? Get a temporary phone for yourself, but have your friend monitor the texts you receive from him on your normal phone– that way if there is anything of concern, you can take appropriate measures, but in the mean time, you’re not getting more and more anxiety every time your phone buzzes.

Post # 115
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think if I were you I would send him one text saying that you have returned the ring via this and this post, you are blocking his number (don’t actually block it though so that you have proof of whatever he texts you) and to not contact you anymore at all and that you wish him the best for his future life.

Just so that you have written proof that you very clearly asked him to leave you alone. Then get a new phone and leave your old one in a drawer somewehre and only check it once a day and use a new one so that he can’t constantly try and contact you.

Post # 116
Member
6978 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

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beachykeenbee :  I get it. I really really do. It’s very scary and upsetting. Talk to the police before you do anything and see what they say. I know it’s difficult but Bee you are so strong and brave! We’re all so proud of you! You can do this!!!

Post # 117
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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beachykeenbee :  If at all possible I’d take some time off work and go somewhere like your aunts for a week or so just to be in a different place and start healing and building up strength, far away from him. Breakups suck and it’s normal to feel very anxious regardless of the situation. You will get through this and he will come to accept it because he will have no choice.

Post # 118
Member
11303 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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beachykeenbee :  

No, no, no!  Don’t send him *just one text*!

You’ll be opening a huge can of worms.  Your careful documentation of everything is enough to establish your credibility.

Post # 119
Member
3436 posts
Sugar bee

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sassy411 :  Ok good to know – I am glad I asked others to chime in! I thought maybe a dad saying “stay away from my daughter or else” would get him to knock it off but he is fully cray cray.

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