Ex fiance advice

posted 9 months ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9854 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

A turd doesn’t stop being a turd just because you weren’t in the same room with it for a while. 

Post # 3
Member
1143 posts
Bumble bee

peaches34 :  absence has clearly made your heart grow fonder for him. A tiger never changes his stripes. If you let him back in, it’s only a matter of time before he’ll leave again. 

Post # 4
Member
1155 posts
Bumble bee

If he cared that much about your son, he would have made time to see him, come hell or high water. 

Dont entertain anything he’s telling you. He’s no different than he was. 

Post # 5
Member
242 posts
Helper bee

Unfortunately sounds like this cycle will repeat.  Time will heal.  I hope you meet someone who truly loves you and your son and will do anything to make you happy

Post # 6
Member
901 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’m sorry this has reopened feelings for you but you should not devote anymore time to thinking about him.  I don’t think it’s constructive for you to vocalize that you still have feelings for him, nor is it healthy for you.  

If he wanted involvement in your lives he would have made that clear, yet instead he has made it clear that he will say what you want to hear. 

Actions speak louder than words, you need to listen to his actions… they are LOUD AND CLEAR.

Post # 8
Member
967 posts
Busy bee

He is a chameleon. If you let him back in your life, he will leave again. Even his own child wont make him stay. I promise you. I am certain because I was with the same guy for 7 years. I was not what he wanted. peaches34 :  

Post # 9
Member
3291 posts
Sugar bee

Please do not let this jackass back into your life. It’s not fair or healthy for your son. 

p.s. he did not change overnight. He has always been this way. He cheated on you early on. He ran away anytime there was the hint of conflict. He is not a good man – not for you and especially not for your child. Please go seek therapy to work on your self esteem.

Also, remove yourself from your joint account. Get a new phone account for you and your family. Cut all ties. Block his number and all social media.

Post # 10
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Sorry, bee. It doesn’t sound like he is going to change. I would do your best to move on and do whatever it takes to go no contact with him if possible. Every time you have contact with him, it’s going to re-open the wound.

Post # 11
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: By the lake

I’m so sorry that you are going through this drama.  Since you already know he has a history of coming in and out of your life and he hasn’t stayed, do you think he will ever stay, if so when and for how long will he stay?  Part of you will always love him because he is the father of your son.  But is that the kind of love you want to be in?

My advice is to let him in your son’s life and you just move on and find peace in your life where you can be with someone who has a “steady” love for you and someone who deserves your love.  You sound like a loving caring person.  You just need to find that same character.  I wish you the best.  And one more piece of advice.  Just make sure your son is your priority and do what’s best for your son.  I am sure you’re a good mom.  Good luck.  Please keep us posted.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
8327 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

peaches34 :  

Don’t keep telling yourself this ” But I still love him and always will” It’s not only overly dramatic, but the chances of it are pretty much nil . I think the deathless Wuthering Helghts  one-lifetime-one-person kind of love only happens in, well,  books.

I’m not saying you won’t always have some level of feeling  for him – we pretty much all have some  nostalgia for our first lost love and often willfully forget  why we broke up  –  but there  is no need to  let it  it preclude you from loving   someone  else. 

Post # 13
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

slomotion :  I feel like this should be on a plaque. 

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