Ex fiance broke up without any solid reason… Happy endings after breakups?

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Definitely. I was with a guy for almost a year and everything was not less than perfect. We were in love. We clicked. We brought the best in each other. Even our fight was the healthiest, most constructive fights I ever had in my life. It was raining rainbows and drizzling glitter all along. Was ready to move in together and then……. he broke up with me. He ran into a girl he had a ‘fling’ with. They were never officially together because she was engaged to another guy and ultimately chose that guy. So my ex decided to move on and then we met. But when he ran into that girl at school…. all hell broke loose on me. It ignited the old flame that probably never died in the first place. My ex said that there was nothing between them the moment he broke up with me. He just realized that he still has feelings for her and he respect me too much to stay together while having a little feeling for another girl. It was soooo baffling. It came out of nowhere. Three months post break up and they started dating. As for me? One month after that break up I officially dated my current fiance, to be married in less than two months (woohoo!). The relationship I have with Fiance is perfect in a better way! There is this strong friendship between us that was missing from my previous relationship.

So yes. There is a good, nay, better story after a storm if you just keep going with your life. Just keep on doing what you do. Have fun. Be sad and be a mess for a while. But keep going. You can do this, bee!

Post # 3
Member
3958 posts
Honey bee

toomuchquestions :  Yes, it’s not fair (leaving without clear explanation)but I would try as much as possible not to dwell on him. Chances are he is not sitting in his room thinking as much about your relationship as you are. Just continue with the positive things you’re doing after you broke up. 

Post # 6
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

toomuchquestions :  just remember that you are not the problem. It was a situation and maybe a difficulty. But youre not the problem. Stay strong!

Post # 7
Member
9628 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Well, my mom always said (accuractely) it never works out until it does. Most people have been completely heartbroken a few times. Its part of the human condition and teaches us about resiliance and ourselves. Keep doing what youre doing to heal, be your best self, and instead of reflecting on his reasoning (which you will never know), reflect on what you learned about the kind of relationship/man youre looking for. 

Post # 8
Member
23 posts
Newbee

toomuchquestions :  Sorry little bee, that this happened to you.  

One thing about women and break ups….we tend to internalize things and associate the break up with things that were wrong with us.  What did we say or do that was wrong, right??  Well the answer to that question is NO!  There was nothing wrong with you or anything you did.  You don’t know it but you were dealing with a dishonest person, who didn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth.  You felt in your gut that there was more to the story and there probably was.  I know my sister went through something similar  when her boyfriend suddenly broke up with her out of nowhere.   He told her he loved her ant that she was the only one for him but he wasn’t there emotionally and just so many similar things. Then he bounced and hasn’t so much as looked back.  No texts saying he missed her, no nothing!   When I told my Fiance, he told me all those excuses sounded like BS.  If a guy has a real grievance he states it, not bounce and disappear without a trace.   Guys behave this way when there’s someone else in this picture.  Sooo I’m thinking there’s 2 possible reasons.  Either he was afraid of the commitment or he met someone else….and I’m leaning towards #2 because of the cowardly exit.

But you already know that this is life. There’s hurts and triumphs.  Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us lessons we never thought we needed to learn. Its obvious this man was never the right one for you.  So lets go about figuring out the lessons from this episode, having a better understanding of yourself and how you approach relationships and looking forward to that future where Mr. Right is probably standing right around the corner.  I’ve got my fingers crossed for you bee!

Post # 9
Member
668 posts
Busy bee

toomuchquestions :  my ex fiance broke up with me for trivial reasons and moved out the next day. He said we weren’t a good fit. I worked too much. He liked TV and I didn’t. A month prior we had gone on a wedding planning trip to Florida. I had paid off a wedding gown. We were together for 3.5 years.

Now I am engaged to someone who I met 6 months later. I saw my ex about a year ago. He looked likst s ahort sweaty drunk lobster face burning in the hot sun. Hanging around with his Peter Pan 40 something friends drinking beer. I can tell you more happy things if you want.

How old are you may I ask and how old is he?

PS Do you like the Breakup Bucket List? http://thingstodoin2013.blogspot.com/p/the-list-of-things-to-do.html

 

Post # 13
Member
2332 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

toomuchquestions :  My husband is Syrian and I’m from Spain. We live in California. So believe me, different cultures CAN work. He was too much of a chicken to make it work. Idiot……he missed out on such a rich culture full of wonderful people. Don’t dwell on it, he f*ed up. Not you.

My ex broke up with me 2 days after Christmas. We were living together and were talking marriage and kids. He got a vasectomy the day I moved out. He completely changed everything on me. And he was cheating! 

I met my husband 6 months later, I was in the best place possible on my own, happy and full of life, fully independent and enjoying every second of my job and new life. We’ve been married for almost 3 years and have a 3 month old baby girl. 

Things happen for a reason. Inshallah you’ll find true happiness soon. 

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