Post # 1
Good morning Bees.
I am kind of bummed… I found out that my so called ‘ex fiancé’ is in the process of moving out with his new gf.
I’m going to try to keep it nice and short. I am 25 and he’s 24. We were together for almost 6 years. We were engaged for 7 months. He broke off the engagement 2 months before our wedding date. We’ve never had any problems in our relationship (or maybe I was just blind to see) we’ve never fought or had any arguments. And if we did have an argument it was over something really stupid like when we couldn’t decide what to eat or where to go to.
First of all, I bought my own dress, veil, invitations, guest book, venue, you name it. I had everything prepared. The same week he broke it off… I was going to pass the invitations. (Thank god I didn’t… what an embarrassment)
The day he broke it off was the same day I picked out my dress. His reason for breaking it off was because there was “no passion” and he wasn’t “happy”. He didn’t talk to me two weeks after he broke it off. In those 2 weeks he was already talking to someone. (I found out through my neighbor). I also found out that he’s been seen with the same chick from other family members. Then he comes around and apologizes and says he realized he was happy with me and was really stupid for breaking our engagement.
After, He begged me to get back together but for a reason I felt it just wasn’t right. I can’t really explain.. But I felt I was better off without him although I loved him very much. (I’d drop anything what I was doing just to take care of his needs). We’d go back and forth with texting and emails months after but I just couldn’t take him back..
It has been 9 months since the breakup and I found out that he’s moving out with the same chick.. He’s only been with her for 5 months… how could he move on so fast… I feel like I meant nothing to him. I know you probably think I am so stupid for even caring but it hurts so much…
If anyone has a familiar situation please tell me.. I’d like to hear from you all.
Post # 2
Just be happy you dodged a bullet! You deserve so much better!
Post # 3
Girl he’s been with her longer than 5 months. Way longer. You’re young and free and can move on to bigger and better things! Move on. Maybe go to a few therapy sessions first to let all of your confused thoughts/hurt feelings be heard and understood. They will help you a lot with moving on so that you don’t get stuck where you are for years.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall
He left you to be with her, he was with her before breaking up with you. Begged you to get back together with him probably because the new chick wasn’t as dreamy as he thought and when you didn’t bend to his will, he just gave up and moved on with her.
Literally, the same thing happened with my ex-husband. He left me for another woman that he had NEVER met in PERSON. He was stationed in Korea and had met her online. When he got back home he moved in with her immediately (paid her ticket to fly her to him even), after a while he begged me to get back together for “our kid”, but then I had found out that he was fighting a lot with his new chick, she had lied about knowing how to cook etc (he doesn’t want a partner in life, he wants a maid), but I didn’t budge, I didn’t want to be back with him, and he married her a couple of months later!
I hated him for a while. I really did. He had a house, a happy wife, and a great job. I had been left with nothing, back to my mom’s house with my daughter, heartbroken and betrayed. And I hate him for “getting away with it”. But I worked hard, went to college, got a great job, moved to Florida, with my Fiance and my daughter. Have a great job, planning on buying a house soon, etc. And him? Years later? He’s divorced her and making min wage. Eventually, life hits you, and I love that I had nothing to do with it. I never speak ill of him to his daughter, never gossiped, etc, he did everything to himself.
You did well with sticking to your judgment and not getting back with him. It hurts, but it’s for the best. You avoided that bullet, he would have married you and cheated on you! You’re WAY better off, and it might take a whiiile, but you’ll see in the end it was for the best.
Post # 5
That is really messed up! I am so sorry that happened to you but I am glad your ex-husband got bad karma for doing it to you!
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2018 - City Hall
I am glad too, he tries to bad mouth me but he can’t say anything. I let him see his kid whenever he wants to (which is like twice a year), and never gossip about him, or anything. But he talks badly about me all the time!
Be strong, I’m so sorry this happened to you, but think about it in a positive tone. You didn’t marry a person who didnt deserve you!
Post # 8
i was thinking of therapy.. i was already forgetting about everything.. i’ve gone to several trips, concerts, theme parks since it’s happened. To keep my mind occupied but BAM i found this out… now i feel all those emotions again 🙁
Post # 10
You’re so right.. i jsut feel like i wasted so much time and money for nothing 🙁
I’m so sorry that happened to you. But look, there’s always a rainbow after the storm. That’s a great example that things really happen for a reason. Funny how life works out!
Thank you for your encouraging words. I really appreciate it 🙂
Post # 11
You dodged a bullet on this way. Just be happy that you didn’t get married and find out that he had been cheating on you. I’m sure he was with her longer than you think. I definetly would not take him bag. Enjoy your life you seem to be handling very well by staying busy. Do not let him talk you into getting back with him. I’m sure he will do it again and what made him change his mind? Did she break it off with him and then he’s like I guess I’ll get back with so and so. I know she’ll take me back. She loves me… Enjoy your life. The right one will come along. Stay strong because he will continue to try and get back with you until another lady comes along.
Post # 12
Sort of similar in my life. PM if you want to details. All I can say is that I never imagined that I could ever be this happy after I lost the dead weight. I came to the point where I felt “who cares he can date Heidi Klum for all I care good riddance he’s someone else’s problem now”. One day I saw him looking horrendous and drunk with all of his Peter Pan friends. I was with someone much better. Try to have someone else keep your dress which helped me get it out of the house. He’s a major league loser for letting you buy that.
Did you see this? http://thingstodoin2013.blogspot.com/p/the-list-of-things-to-do.html
I feel like you are on the right track! Major hugs from me!!
Post # 13
so sorry that this happened to you. You said a lot of him begging to get you back was by text and email? So maybe block his number and his email. You don’t need to be talking to him after all this mess he’s put you through if it’s going to twist you up more.
I think my ex (who I left bc he was cheating) has finally moved on to someone else and I think, bc of how he switched from dragging his feet to trying to push the divorce fast, that he might be serious w someone now and trying to get married. I feel sorry for the girl if so, but good f’in riddance to him and glad his riff raff butt might leave me alone now. (I blocked him but he still tries to contact me thru friends sometimes.)
Post # 14
that hurts, it really does. Only time will take that sting away.
The only thing i can say is PLEASE cut off all contact if you havent already. You didnt mention that you still talked to him, but sounds like you did stay in contact for a while. It will never get better if you talk to him. Even if it is a quick response to an email or text or even saying “leave me alone”. Dont communicate at all.
the 2nd thing i will say is, dont waste time trying to put the peices together to figure out where it went wrong. Dont try to analyze his actions or the things he says and why they are contridictory. At the end of the day, does it really matter? You will drive yourself crazy thinking “Why is he moving out with her, but he told me he still loves me?”
because he is dumb. He is a dumb little boy who doesnt know what he wants. He wants to have someone love him and drop everything for him but also he wants to party and flirt and whatever else 25 year old boys do.
the first boyfriend i ever lived with i found was cheating. I kicked him out and he didnt say a word when he left. I went onto his facebook (hey i was 19 lol) and saw that he was talking to her and meeting up and “excited for their date”. it broke me. I wrote him this huge text asking how he could just move on so quickly. how he could just not care? He wrote back how much he loved me and wanted to be with me etc etc etc.
but he was still dating her! I finally dropped him for good and for MONTHS he messaged, called, emailed about how he couldnt live with out me. I was everything. wanted to marry me etc etc etc. All while still dating her or other people. He eventually stopped.
Point is, actions mean something. Words dont. Dont try to analyzie him or the situation. Just move on and be happy like you deserve to.
Post # 15
You are doing the right thing.
I was with my ex for over 7 years, though we were never engaged and he cheated on me nearly constantly. They moved in together and had a baby, which I think is fantastic. I hope that it helped him to mature and that he values her more than he valued me.
Meanwhile, i’m happily married now to a man I never have to worry about, so it really really was for the best. At first it was hard to let that relationship go but now looking back I can see that my ex and I were really incompatible and were a terrible fit for one another. I know it won’t seem that way now but I think a couple of years from now you will be able to recognize things about your relationship with that dude that you can’t see right now.
Take care of yourself and live your life, things will be okay.