- 2 weeks ago
- Wedding: September 2021
I’ve been a silent reader of this forum for awhile now. Everyone is so supportive and gives great advice so I would like to ask for some advice about my situation.
I was friends with this person for over ten years. I thought we had a wonderful friendship. I was the usual homebody and she was the party girl that’s always out of the house. Despite our differences, we made it work. Until three years ago when it took a turn.
I went to her birthday party doing a fun activity, where I socialized with her friends, and I had fun. It was the first time I came to her party since she usually does it at a bar, and I was not really a bar person.
During this time, I was dealing with a breakup, a separate legal situation and was getting therapy. I didn’t tell her about my problems at the time since it was her special day.
My friend mentioned about moving to Australia for work, and as a friend I was happy about her growing professionally. All I asked was to know when she’s leaving so I can see her off. Her birthday was the last time we had contact.
Fast forward the end of the year, I find out from social media her other friends are posting pictures of many farewell get togethers for her, and next thing I know she’s already in Australia.
I decided to message her that I felt sad I couldn’t say goodbye to her. She acknowledged it was too bad we couldn’t say goodbye to each other and that was it.
I figured our friendship was over at that point and very one sided considering if I didn’t contact her to meet up, we wouldn’t even see each other in the past.
Now because of Covid (3 years later) she comes back to my DMs trying to rekindle our friendship. She was asking to meet up since the pandemic has opened her eyes to what her priorities should be and wanted to meet up.
I was polite and told her I was open to meeting up, but I was coming into that conversation being honest about how I feel about what happened with our friendship and I wanted her to do the same.
She got all defensive, telling about all the excuses and difficulties she had after she got back from Australia. Then, she continies saying that for her, I was the type of friend she felt she could go back to any time and pick right off where we started, which really doesn’t sit right with me.
She ended it congratulating me on my engagement and saying she’s still open to talk to me if I want.
How should I respond to this?