- 9 years ago
My boyfriend of 7 years (who is a police officer in the town I live) and I decided to take a break back in September and I ultimately broke it off completely with him about a month ago.
The break up was amicable at first — we have had a rough year and I told him we had to do SOMETHING to end the repeated fights and issues. I told him I loved him and I hoped this break up and time apart would help fix some of those issues, and I hoped that one day we might could get back together again. Now I see it was a big mistake for me to say this, even though I mean it. He told me that if I ever wanted to get back with him, that I better not have sex with anyone else because he would never take me back (I’ve only been with two guys my entire life).
While we were on a break, I met a new guy who I fell hard for — fast. I’ve never had this kind of chemistry with a guy before. That’s how I knew I had to end it with my boyfriend. But I also know that he’s probably not the type of guy that I will have a long term relationship with, but I’m willing to take my chances at this point.
Well, this past weekend my ex was on duty and discovered new guy’s truck at my apartment. He does not know and has never met him (but knows about him), but ran his tags on his vehicle to find out if it was him. He absolutely flipped his shit. He called me at midnight screaming and crying and asking how I could do this to him. I reiterated the fact that we are broken up and asked him not to contact me. He kept calling my phone and would not stop screaming at me, so I told him that if he continued to stalk me and call me that I would call the police department and tell them that an officer is harrassing me.
Monday morning he called my phone four times while I was in my staff meeting at work. I called him back (which I probably shouldn’t have done), and he basically went on a tirade about how I’m a horrible person and a piece of a shit and a whore for being with another guy so soon (and a guy who “doesn’t have as good of character as him.” I’ll admit it: his past isn’t great, but he has been a great guy to me so far). I stayed on the phone with him for over an hour while I listened to this. He would go between saying if I would just dump this over guy now, he would take me back (which goes against what he said about me having sex with other guys) to saying I was a terrible person. Then he ended the conversation by saying he was glad he hadn’t married me, he never wanted to talk to me again, he was going to block my number, and that this new guy was going to cheat on me and treat me like shit and I will deserve it. He also threatened to go tell my parents I have some dude staying at my apartment and that I’m a whore. FYI – my parents met this other guy months ago and have known about everything that happened.
This morning I woke up to a Facebook message from his Dad that says, “You have just about killed my son. We are all very hurt and dissappointed in you. Do not respond.”
I feel so horrible now that he and his family (who were part of my family for 7 years) think so lowly of me. There are two sides to every story, and my ex did a whole hell of a lot to contribute to the end of this relationship. My family would NEVER get involved in relationship issues, let alone message him on Facebook. Even my two older brothers who are fiercly protective of me would not do something like that.
Has anyone ever been in a similar situation or have any advice on how to handle this? I feel so awful… I almost didn’t come to work today because I couldn’t get myself together and stop crying.