(Closed) Ex has gone crazy… family hates me… advice, please?

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
8462 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would send him an email or message (that can be saved) asking him and his family to stop contacting you completely. I would also block/unfriend all his contacts on facebook. If he or his family continue to bother you, then I’d file a report with the police so they at least have something on file.

Trust me, the ex is probably always going to want you to look like the “bad guy” in the equation. I had an ex-boyfriend that cheated on me multiple times in our relationship and was verbally and physically abusive. But when I broke it off and started dating another guy, I was made out to be this horrible person to our friends and family. I lost probably 90% of our mutual friends over it, but it was worth it in the end to be rid of him.

Post # 18
1075 posts
Bumble bee

@Tinymight:  tbh wouldnt u expect this from a regular person that was in love. It seems that it was a hard break up for him so u need to put perspective from his point of view. You two must have been very serious since he was thinking of marriage and for you to be with someone elseso quick is definitely heartbreaking. ON THE OTHERHAND he should not use his authority in such a way it is wrong! he should respect ur decision, and move on which is easier said than done so for now i’d start by blocking his number and removing all contact from him. The next step if he is persistent in an aggressive way is file a report BUT only if it is extreme. My family would, no have stepped into my relationships bcz they were concerned thats just how some parents r, they want to protect their child from getting hurt and to see them go through so much pain is a horror story to them. Just think of things from more than one perspective

Post # 19
3054 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

When we first started dating, my husband had made it pretty clear to me that if we were to take a break that I would not be hooking up with anyone else and that he considers it cheating because that break is supposed to be a time to work on our relationship. I agreed with him and told him I expected the same on his end. However, I did tell him that if we were to want to hook up with other people that we would have to communicate that before hand and decide on how to go about that during that time. Now, for us a “break” is different then a “break up”. A “break” is a time to to be alone to reflect on things, a “break up” means we do not plan on getting back together. Could we get back together after a “break up”? Sure…it could happen but sleeping with other people would not be off-limits. Now…this is what we have decided, it varies couple to couple I am sure.

Your ex is upset because he considers it cheating and due to the lack of communication it has led to a major misunderstanding. BUT…. how he is behaving is very childish and immature. At that point of finding out you were having sex with someone, he should have just moved on with his life. His family is also acting very out of hand. How to respond? I would delete them as friends on facebook and block them from contacting you again. You do not need to explain yourself to any of them. What happened, is really between you and your ex, not his family. I also do not think you should speak to your ex until things settle down, that might take years…..Do not waste your energy worrying about them, once all this emotion has settled down they will become nothing more then an after-thought.

Post # 21
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would not respond at all- even if you’re just calling to tell him, don’t ever call me again. And I wouldn’t answer his dad’s email. That was beyond ridiculous. Document everything he does. You may have to see a lawyer about this. I had a brief issue with being stalked by an ex and my uncle made me go to the local police. They offered to do an unofficial “visit” at his house and place of work to tell him to back off before any issues of restraining orders were brought up. They said this would not work if I had contacted him in any way, even if it was just to call him to tell him not to call me. No instigation on my end was allowed. The police visit did the trick- I was lucky.

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