(Closed) Ex-husband is a class act

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

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2ndchance :  FWIW I actually don’t think you’re in love with your ex or want him back, my impression is more that you’re overly conscious of your own image, in all your posts regarding exes- at least the ones I’ve read- you seem to revel in being Better Than Her in compariisons to your FI’s ex and now The One Who Got Away with your own ex. It seems more important to you than it should be that your Fiance is seen as trading up by getting you and your ex fucked up a good thing in losing you.

And you say “I said ‘hey look who just texted me congratulations”. And that was it. We both said cool, I thanked him then deleted the text” Then created an entire thread about my ex on a wedding message board in the same span I posted about my engagement.

Please re-read your last post and see if you can pick up on the irony of saying this is a board open for discussions to get unbiased opinions in the same breath you’re telling people if they find you off-putting to jog on without commenting.

Post # 47
Member
7633 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t see your post as anything to get worked up over bee, don’t sweat the reactions. The issue with posts like this is that you’ve just given one tiny snapshot into your whole life, and it’s easy to take that snapshot out of context (since we have no other context) and assume it’s a reflection of your entire life and mindset. The fact that you posted about your ex rather than your excitement about your Fiance doesn’t necessarily mean you are actually more excited about one than the other – it just means the situation with your ex was what happened to be on your mind today so that’s what you wrote about. 

Anyway, I get what you’re saying. I don’t even blame you for making the remark about how you think your ex would take you back. I think many people have had thoughts like that about exes – it doesn’t automatically mean you’re still hung up on the person. It’s also ridiculous to expect that an engaged person is going to spend every moment of their engagement thinking exclusively about their upcoming wedding and their undying love for their Fiance. Like, we are multifaceted people!

TDLR: As long as you’re not dwelling on this regularly and genuinely are happy with your Fiance, it’s cool.

Post # 50
Member
486 posts
Helper bee

Yes! I am very blessed as well! It was hard at first when SO was around at the beginning. It was still a fresh hurt. But… The last 7 months or so we’ve finally gotten on the right path. We all go to our kids soccer games and recitals. Last night… He even invited us over for a big party on the 4th. We werent going to go… But we brought the kiddos fireworks, and when my 7 year old son shouted I want to light them off with (SO)!!! My ex wasnt slighted in the least. He said lets go! And paired up with our daughter. And they all wemt to the road together to light them off. My ex has completely given us his blessing. 

And… When things got really rocky a few months ago… He came over to make sure i was ok… But with no other motives. It was kind. He even offered SO the couch at his place and someone to talk to. 

Post # 51
Member
486 posts
Helper bee

Wanted to add… The ex’s sister and i are basically sisters to each other as well. Have matching sister tattoos and completely remain best friends. Rocky at first with his family as i expected… But a little time and everyone saw how we co parent… And it all settled down. 

Post # 52
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee

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2ndchance :  I initially thought the title of your post was going to turn out to be sarcastic and that the post would actually be a rant about how immature he is. So I was really pleased to read a positive post which proves that it is possible for exes to act like grownups around eachother. I don’t see any harm in you sharing this here either, or is the Bee only for sharing negative stuff now and asking for help?!

Post # 53
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

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2ndchance :  I just don’t understand why you’re so flattered by a congratulatory message from your ex or why you think it indicates growth on his part.  

It sounds like your problem with your ex was that he was lazy.  It took no effort to write that message.  Words are easy.  It’s actions that count.  So why are you so impressed by his words?  It sounds like neither one of you has changed, but rather you’re at a healthy distance from each other.  You should keep that distance.

Post # 54
Member
32 posts
Newbee

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2ndchance :  FWIW I think it’s nice of your ex to acknowledge your engagement. There’s way too much negativity everywhere. As for your comment about having him back if you wanted to, lol! I’m sure some people have thought the same about their ex at some point or another. No harm no foul, it’s just innocent banter and who doesn’t enjoy some attention once in a while? That doesn’t negate your engagemnt happiness in the least! Congratulations btw 🙂

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