- 4 days ago
Hey everyone. I rarely post on here anymore but I have enough posts that give you some of my backstory of my past. My ex and I were together for thirteen years, married for about four and a half of those years before we separated in ’16 and divorced in ’17. We have not been together for three and a half years. He was unhappy with the divorce, but went along with it anyway. I felt we had a very toxic relationship and shouldn’t have been married to begin with. I blame myself for getting married since I knew I wasn’t sure but felt we were together for “so long”.
I quit my job in ’17, moved abroad for another opportunity, and returned home three months ago for my present job. Almost the entire time I was abroad, I simply stopped talking to my ex. Just shut down all communication because he seemed to not understand that we were done. I thought it was best to stop communicating with him and feeding him hope. Even though I made the fact that I no longer held romantic feelings for him clear, my guy friends advised me that any communication was hope. And they were correct. So I cut it off.
When I returned home, I had to move in with my folks for a bit, and they revealed that he had been sending gifts and letters, etc. One of the letters said that we are still married no matter what. I brushed it off and kept it moving. However, for V-day of this year, he sent an invitation to meet up (he heard I was back) at some bar in my parents’ neighborhood and he would be waiting there at a certain time. Mind you we hadn’t spoken in almost a YEAR. It would be silly for him to do so without confirmation from me, right? Wrong. My mom saw via FB that he actually went and waited for me which freaked us out (my dad offered to talk to him if he saw him).
I never responded to him, was advised to keep anything he sent just in case things got crazy, and kept it moving.
He just sent another letter recently with a flash drive and video inserted. Guys, he made a 20 min vid talking about how he doesn’t care what I do, who I’m dating, he will never let go. He said something like “You’ll be 50 years old and I’ll still send you letters.”
A friend of mine suggested that I write a clear letter asking him to stop contacting me just in case things got hairy, which I did. He’s never been the kind of guy to stalk (sounds naive and silly I know) but it’s really freaking me out. On top of this, I’ve been actually dating someone new for six months now…
Have any of you been in this situation? How seriously should I take this?
Also, my mom, dad, brother and sister in law are friends with him on social media. My parents have backed off talking to him, but my bro is still communicating with him (my ex likes EVERYTHING he writes on his wall and my bro responds). I’ve spoken to my bro after the V-day thing, he said he would back off, but I see them still talking. Is it wrong that I ask him to stop?
Thanks in advance guys.