Post # 1
Today last month my ex fiance left the engagement ring and a short note on the desk. I came home to it around 10pm. Ex is staying with Dad 20 mins away. He spoils the ex, at beck and call. We dated for a year then moved in together and had been engaged for a year. About July 2016 I had a grande mal seizure. My first seizure ever and Ive had 2 since then. I was then on dilantin which made me moody and tired and it was a stressful 6 months. I was recuperating during this time and trying to come to terms with my reality. That was enough for the ex to run back to daddy. The ex abruptly left, has not spoken to me since a few days after the breakup, writing at one point that it was “obviously horrible mean and selfish to want my own happiness”. I.e. I can’t handle the unhealthy you, despite the fact I was about to commit to you in sickness and in health. In short the ex has always been a bit emotionally immature, crying at the drop of a hat; interpreting eveything I did, like sleeping on the couch if it was warm upstairs, as not caring. The ex was always very outwardly emotional so I never expected the cruelty. Anyway so much hate…
Post # 2
Ok, good story.
I have a chronic health condition and if a guy/girl isn’t willing to stay with you through your worst times, they sure don’t deserve your best. You are better off.
Post # 3
ljm308 : for real. You have to love me at my worst to deserve me at my best.
Post # 4
Im sorry bee but you dodged a bullet there… If he can’t handle it then its better you know now. My Fiance is supports me in those moments (I have epilepsy so I know how the seizures and meds make you feel) and although sometimes doesnt understand fully what I am going through he tries, and is always there when I need him. You deserve that too, and one day you will find that! Take comfort in knowing you are better off.
Post # 5
Yeah.. you dodged a bad marriage. It’s easy to care for someone when times are good and you’re getting you’re way. Not so easy when someone is ill. If anything, this should have brought you closer together.
Post # 6
I’ve been in good relationships and bad relationships and I see a very very strong correlation between how a person treats you when you’re sick and how they treat you overall. Never settle for anyone who isn’t there for you when you’re at your lowest, it speaks volumes about their character.
Wishing you better health Bee, focus on you now. Feeling angry, bitter, heartbroken, disillusioned by your ex’s callous, cowardly break up with you is hard to deal with, especially on top of health issues, but you will get through it and begin a brand new chapter in your life.
Post # 7
RobbieAndJuliahaha : such a great point! That should be enshrined somewhere. +100
Post # 8
Your ex was put to the test and couldn’t handle it. You are better off. Now you are free to find someone who will accept you as you are, in good times and in bad.
Post # 9
If someone can’t be supportive while you’re sick they are a shit person….period.
Good for you that you dodge that horrible person!
Post # 10
alishavalani : Sorry to hear this bee. As the others have said, you have doged a bullet. Obviously your ex wasn’t good enough for you as couldn’t handle you at your worst. Best of luck to you.
Post # 11
Yes, good riddance to him. My Fiance was by my side through some pretty bad medical issues that I had about a year ago, and then on the flip side, I was his caretaker when he had to have hip replacement surgery this summer at the ripe old age of 27. It was difficult because the surgery and pain medicine made him very emotional on top of the fact that he had to rely on me for most things which hurt his pride/ego. I had to take off work for a couple of weeks to care for him, and continue to drive him places for a couple of months. But we made it through that, and we are now a stronger couple because of it. If someone won’t stay by your side through the bad times, then they are not worth having in your life. It’s called a partnership for a reason.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom
As hard as it is to hear, you did dodge a bullet with this one! Don’t feel bad or embarassed for a moment. At the end of the day, he is the jerk who ran when you got sick.
Post # 13
The ex was always very outwardly emotional so I never expected the cruelty.
Not so much cruelty OP, as total ineptitude at adult life. Dodged a bullet as pps have said , sad though you must feel.
Just a side note , how did he get your engagement ring , had you left it somewhere about ? Such an an odd thing for him to do, to use it as a note holder. Was he saying ‘keep this in remembrance of me’ or some such crap ?
Post # 14
I might have misunderstood, but I was under the impression that the ex was the one given an engagement ring and left it with the note to give it back. Also I don’t know that OP specified the ex’s or their own gender.
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
Definitely a bullet dodged. My Darling Husband is three months post-kidney transplant – he told me very early on in the relationship that he had a chronic kidney condition which would end with dialysis and/or transplant, and it was clear that I had the choice of continuing on with the relationship in this knowledge or calling it quits then. There was no question in my mind, and when it did worsen to the point where dialysis had to happen, there was again no question that I would support him through that and then again through the transplant. Those words “in sickness or in health” are a promise I will keep to the absolute best of my ability and I know he’d do the same for me. Be glad you got out.