(Closed) Ex said nasty things to me

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The only thing I think you did that would be out of line for me is bothering to respond to his texts at all! Why do you want to be friends with this guy? He is an ex for a reason – and yeah, being a lying drug addict is quite a reason. I wouldn’t be shocked that he said things like that to you – I mean, come on, he’s on drugs and is delusional enough to think that his drug friends are his real, true friends. There’s really no point in having a friendship or text message arguments, or really any contact at all, with someone like that. I’m glad you’ve now blocked him. 

 

Post # 5
Member
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

This guy sucks, and that’s why he is your EX! He is trying to make you feel bad and himself feel better, because at the end of the day, he knows you are successful and he is not, and it drives him nuts. Don’t take anything he says personally, and cut all ties with him! Let him be with his drug friends and enjoy your life that you both know is much better than his. 

 

Post # 6
Member
1459 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - Bristol zoo

My ex did a few 180’s over the course of a few months when we broke up. I think it’s kind of a man thing, trying to get you back but then his ego is damaged so he needs to make it seem like he was never really that into you in the first place (especially if you say your ex is a narcissist).

cutting off all ties is really the best you can do for him and yourself and I’m glad you had the strength not to take him back. X

Post # 7
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

You were most certainly NOT out of line. The reason he went from loving you to hating you in what seemed like no time at all, is because he realized you really were trying to move on, and were really serious about him getting help, or you would no longer be a part of his life.

He is trying to hurt you the way you hurt him, in his minds eye. He doesn’t realize that if it weren’t for his actions, he wouldn’t have been hurt in the first place.

You did the right thing by getting rid of anything that was his and by deleting all communication you had.

Keep your chin up, buttercup. There is a perfect man out there for you that is NOT a drug addicted asshole.

Post # 8
Member
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Do everything you can to cut this toxic person out of your life and stay far, far away from him!

Post # 9
Member
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Zombies55:  just ignore the loser.  i think he’s probably mad b/c you didn’t respond to his pleas for affection and compassion.  you totally did the right thing but not giving in to this loser.  good for you.  move on and cut this toxic pos out of your life for good.

Post # 10
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I dated (I use that term loosely – we went out a couple of times before he started getting erratic and disappearing on me) someone like that, who would automatically start getting mean when I wouldn’t fall for his flowery texts.  You are much better off girlfriend.

Post # 11
Member
4476 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldn’t worry about being out of line with this guy.  

 

his flipping out on you out of the blue is a pretty typical experience when it comes to dealing with addicts.  Not only do addicts usually have deep-rooted issues to begin with (it’s why they become addicts in the first place), but they usually are volatile from being chemically imbalanced (highs and withdrawal lows).  As long as they’re using, they’ll also have ways of lashing out and blaming everyone but themselves for their problems.  Right now I think you should just be glad you got out of that relationship when you did, before you were in too deep.

Post # 12
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Zombies55:  Why let a cheating drug addict get to you?  What part about his character makes him someone with an opinion that matters?  Haters just gotta hate.

Post # 13
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

He’s angry because you hurt him really bad. He said he loves you and you said that you’re the only girl that dumped him. It could be a combination of ego and his feelings. You’re doing the right thing and as hard as it is to do, don’t believe anything he says and just move on. You can’t listen to a bitter drug addict. And he sounds like a complete and utter asshole. You deserve better.

Post # 14
Member
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ehh… don’t let it get to you. My biological father was a heroine addict for a long time and still triffles with cocaine here and there. He has said some really horrible things to me (“I hate you, you’ll never get anywhere in life, you’re nothing” etc etc), but honestly why do I care about the opinion on a junkie? You shouldn’t either.

Post # 15
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

This guy is bad news… move on.

You will be like a zillion times better off.

And you DESERVE soooo much more out of life.

You say you are a college-educated professional with a career, a home, an awesome salary  and a bright future, so no doubt you are wondering to yourself what you see / ever saw in this guy.

The answer is you are human… and as such make mistakes.

This guy was a mistake.

YOU WILL meet someone better… for sure.

For now tho, let me suggest some books you might want to check out that can help you thru this time and beyond…

First and foremost get yourself a copy of:

Greg Behrendt’s – It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken ~ The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy

After you’ve gotten thru that, and past the worst of getting over this dude… get into the following 2 books cause they’ll help you get a good idea of how men think… and are self empowering as a woman to determine WHAT EXACTLY YOU WANT out of life and your Relationships

Greg Behrendt’s – He’s Just Not That Into You

and

Dr Phil’s – Love Smart ~ Find the One You Want / Fix the One You Got

These last two both have some great Question & Answer Sections that can help you map out a plan for yourself and your future.

(( HUGS ))

 

Post # 16
Member
797 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

He sounds exactly like my ex!!  Semi-same scenario too… We only dated a few months but had known eachother a long time, then things went sour and I broke up with him.  That was December.  I, like you, tried to be there for him through his “hard time” (me breaking up with him?) for a couple months but realized I needed to get away from him, so since February he’s been finding ways around all of my Facebook, phone, AIM, etc. blocks so that he can send me messages of love and hopes for our reconnect.  Then they started turning mean when he found out I have a boyfriend, so now they’re cruel messages about my character or where my boyfriend works and how he looks. *sigh*

Basically… our exes are immature and don’t know how to handle normal human emotions.  I’m the only person that’s broken up with my ex, as well, and I think that has something to do with it as well as the fact that he’s a massive pot head.  He’s  an immature, self-centered druggie who has major anger management issues and his ego took a hit.  Boo hoo.

I agree with everyone else saying you can and WILL do much better and that stopping all contact with him would be in your best interest.  Good luck girlie 🙂

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