Post # 1
SO… The Ex.
I have one. We dated four years (almost to the day) long distance, all through college, and then I broke up with him the night before graduation. Yikes, I know. I hadn’t planned on doing it then, but he kept pushing the “where are we going/why won’t you commit” thing.
It was BAD. No hope of staying friends, since we had dated 4 years and gotten pretty serious, but I thought that we might be able to be friendly-ish/no hard feelings years later if we ran into each other. I sincerely thought that after a few months he would realize that our relationship had been going downhill/I wasn’t right for him, etc. I mean, we lived 2 hours apart and he visited me once or twice the whole last semester. So I didn’t think the breakup was coming as a shock.
Apparently it did and he took it pretty hard. We talked a few times after, but it was awkward, so we stopped. I called him about a year later as a heads up that I was dating someone (I had heard he was too) and he was coming home with me for Thanksgiving (small town, wanted to pre-empt an awkward run in).
He texted me some half hearted/half insulting text after we (me and my husband) got engaged. Then a few weeks before we got married – all about how he hated me and I ruined his life, etc. I told him to stop contacting me cause it was starting to freak me out.
It stopped until a few days before Christmas when he texted me to say he was thinking about killing himself. I was at work and didn’t write back. I felt that me texting him back wouldn’t make him think “oh people care – life is worth living” and that it was mainly trying to be manipulative. I saw him (he didn’t see me) a few days later so I know he didn’t.
I blocked his number, but it still bugs me. I live about 2000 miles away, so I’m not worried, but I don’t know. Part of me is embarrassed because I don’t want my husband to think I just had really poor judgment…I never thought he was crazy/manipulative/emotionally abusive at the time, but now I’m beginning to realize he is.
Anyone else have crazy exes?
Post # 3
My abusive ex from a few years back pulled the whole “I’m going to kill myself” act for months after I left him. I ignored each and every text/email/voicemail that he sent. It makes me wonder how some peoples minds work (hmm.. you hit me, choked me, slammed me against walls, cheated on me repeatedly, encouraged my eating disorder, called me terrible names, tried to blackmail/threaten me into lettting him get me pregnant, when I was just 15 no less, and when I finally got out after a year, he thinks threatening to kill himself will make me want him/win me back?! … seriously?!!? I’m not one to wish bad things on people, but the world would be a much better place if he weren’t in it)
All I can say for you in your situation is, you did the right thing not answering. Guys like that will take any response as encouragement and keep on texting.
Post # 4
All I can say is that I had a “friend” (more like someone I felt sorry for so I talked to her during high school) who told me a few times over the phone that she was trying to kill herself. Finally I called the police (non emergency) and sent them to her house. I figured that I would rather be safe than sorry and, in case she was just being manipulative, I would be calling her bluff. They said I did the right thing. Never heard anything about it again (I know she didn’t go through with it and stopped talking to me!). If he pulls this on you again, it might be something to try.
Post # 5
@MademoiselleL: I think you’re right. I’m a mandatory reporter since I work at a homeless shelter, so it’s something I’ve had to do before. Though I wouldn’t be required to report something like this, I honestly have no idea where he is living right now. I mean, I ran into him in our parent’s hometown, but I assume he was just there for Christmas.
Post # 6
My ex was harassing me with angry texts for a while too. This was years and years after we broke up. He also pulled the suicide card, so I contacted a relative of his and told him about it. I think you are doing the right thing, just ignore him and he’ll eventually have to move on with his life.
Post # 7
@Gingersnap: what a… well, don’t want to curse on someone else’s wall but you made the right choice and are very lucky you did. It’d harder to get out of than people will admit sometimes
Post # 8
This guy I dated twice in high school was the asshole kind of nuts. We broke it off when we were 18 on mutual terms, we barely kept in touch as friends. So imagine my shock when 3 years later I have moved to AZ and he calls me and starts boasting about his new gf and why we didn’t work etc. SERIOUSLY!? He said “ya know how you said you always felt like hugging a cardboard cut-out because I wasn’t affectionate? That’s because I wasn’t attracted to you phsyically”. I mean really, why he felt the need to call me when I was thousands of miles away years later to tell me these things I will never know. When I look back on the entirity of our dating there were a million signs I should have seen, bright red flags of his assholeness, haha.
Post # 9
@SunriseMidwest: OMG…what a douchebag. Talk about not being able to just let it go.. Wow.
Post # 10
My very first boyfriend was a guy I knew from summer camp when I was thirteen. He was my best friend there, and after the first week, we admitted that we liked each other and started dating, and a week after that, camp ended, we had our first and only physical moment when my friend pushed me into him so that we could hug goodbye, and then he went back to his town (in Minnesota), and I went back to mine (in Texas). We tried doing the whole long distance thing for about a week, but then I realized that although I really liked him, being in a long distance relationship at thirteen was beyond ridiculous. I ended it.
We still talked online all the time, though, and his conversations started getting more and more disturbing. He threatened suicide for a while, and finally, one night, around 1:00 AM, he told me he was in the process of stabbing himself through the chest. He was seriously typing things like “omg it hurts so much.” I ended up calling his house and waking up his mom in the middle of the night. I was sobbing, and she couldn’t even understand what I was saying at first, but then she told me she was with him, and he was okay.
I blocked him after that. It was for the best. I eventually did unblock him, and I even saw him once a couple years later when I happened to be in the area, and we’re Facebook friends today… but we were never friends again.
Now I’m just amused by his emo “OMG I’M A HARDCORE ROCKSTAR” Facebook status updates. XD