Post # 1
and it upsets me… a lot. I’m away from him right now so if and when he visits his hometown, he’ll be without me. I do trust him… but I am really uncomfortable about this! I’ve tried to stuff my feelings down because I don’t want to be manipulative and tell him who he can and cannot hang out with.
Should I say something? FH knows I’ve been cheated on before by different guys and I have trouble being ok with his ex’s in general. These chicks are also people he told me have no part in his future life with me. We are hours away from them and live totally different lives. So why talk to them? He couldn’t answer this when I asked him that. I guess it’s just something he’s always done and not thought about it, but now it’s making me really upset.
I can’t be there for my guy and it hurts to see his ex’s coming into the picture now, right before we get married.
Post # 3
I know that most people won’t agree with me on this, but I would be like “HELL NO”.
Seriously this wouldn’t even be a topic to discuss with me.
I would tell my Darling Husband that it is not even imaginable. Why the hell would he want to hang out with an ex?
I wouldn’t do it, so I expect the same from him.
Post # 4
Speak up! Definetly say something to him and make sure he know how much this would hrut you. It isn’t unreasonable that you would be uncomfortable that he hangs out with his ex. Don’t keep this from him.
Post # 5
@tranquility: AGREED. A big “HELL NO” to that. No other discussion. If he did it, there would be major issues. Especially if it was someone that was not in the picture for a long time and they suddenly re-appeared. I would be super pissed.
Post # 6
@SimplyChic11: Has he done anything previously that would instill mistrust? Or is this related to the past?
I think you should evaluate why this bothers you so much. Not saying it is unjustified, but if you have some baggage from the exes you might want to work that out before marriage, just to save yourself any future pain.
Post # 7
Any man wanting to marry me does not need to be meeting with any of his ex’s. They broke up for a reason. Why hang out? Speak up to him now, or find a man who respects you 100%
What if you were meeting your ex’s, how would he like it?
Post # 8
I agree with PP, this would be a HUGE no-no for me. It strikes me as odd that right before you’re getting married he wants to shoot the shit with an ex.. after he told you he didn’t want them in his life with you?
Don’t hold it in, definitely voice how you feel about this situation.
Post # 9
Are you afraid that he’ll cheat? Have they remained friends or is this some random thing?
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2011 - Spring Grove Park & St. George Banquet Center
I don’t think he should be hanging out with an ex, especially so close to the wedding. It’s just inappropriate, even if they are both trustworthy and have no intentions of any funny business. Unless the ex was and is a key member of your group of mutual friends, there’s just no reason for this.
Post # 11
I with @KatyElle: on this one. Did they remain friends? Do they have mutual friends? Would it be a one on one thing, or would there be a group? I have friends that are still friends with my exes and we’ve gone out a few times. Fiance has actually gone out with us.
Post # 12
I’ve been cheated on too, and I know where you are coming from. There’s always that little voice in the back of your head. I think you are within your rights to ask him to not hang out with exes — and I don’t think it has to be about the cheating, it’s about respect for your relationship.
Post # 13
I’m married and have dinner with my friend (who I dated but don’t even give “ex” status to because we’re such good friends) every so often. Darling Husband knew about it before we got married and doesn’t care now. But that’s our relationship, I wasn’t willing to give up the friendship and Darling Husband didn’t want me to give it up. It doesn’t mean I don’t respect my husband, I respect him much more for being so cool about it.
Now if they have NOT remained friends and this is some rando thing, then yes, I’d be somewhat concerned.
Post # 15
AGREE with tranquility and soyjoy
You are NOT being manipulative or controlling asking him to please not see this person, you are his soon to be wife making a request becuase the act of seeing them makes you uncomfortable.
Just like if you said “My ex Mike is in town. We’re having dinner while you’re away, honey”.
If he said “Oh…do you have to? I’d like to be there”, would you be upset at him or respect his wishes?
Post # 16
I’d say “hell no” but more of a “hell no, not now”.
Bad timing on his part and you should be available to come IF you wanted to. You may not even want to but it should at least be a viable option