(Closed) ex wives: vent

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
9939 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@ulysses1983:  Ok, this is not acceptable.  Chances are this – your DH is a good guy.  He doesn’t want to “hurt her feelings,” and since you’re not making a big stink about this he feels that it’s not bothering you.

You can put a stop to this.  TELL HIM this is hurting you.  Tell him you feel disrespected.  Tell him she needs to find a new friend like NOW. 

If he’s a good guy, like I suspect, then the thought and fact that he is hurting YOU with this behavior should be enough for him to tell the ex-wife he can no longer be her BFF and she needs to detach.

Post # 4
11259 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@ulysses1983:  do they have children together?  is there a reason why they need to stay in contact with each other?  it sounds like your husband is just enabling her behaviour because he has not set any boundaries.  he needs to do this asap.

discuss boundaries with your dh and mutually agree on what is appropriate.  he can then pass that on to his exwife.

Post # 5
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I agree that you should tell your DH how you feel.  My DH’s wife is all kinds of crazy, and he’s had to block her number several times.  When he did have to talk to her for some reason, he kept it as short as possible and never mentioned anything to do with me (she doesn’t even know anything about him being in a relationship).  She’s crazy, and he didn’t want her to know anything about his life or about me.  Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t mention you to her?  (And now my DH’s ex joined my running club, though I haven’t been active in it in a while, and I’m sure she knows nothing about it’s relation to me as she knows nothing about me– but this sucks just as I was looking forward to starting back up again.)

Post # 6
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You guys definitely need to have a conversation about boundaries.  When DH and I were engaged I kept telling him he needs to set his ex straight because when we are married I wasn’t going to deal with it.  They do have a child together but she calls about everything under the sun including just to call me names.  I told him if he didn’t want to have that conversation with her, then I didn’t have a problem doing so.  

If you leave it up to her, she will never stop calling.  I doubt her husband knows she’s calling that much.   Ask him how would he feel if you called your ex for every little thing.

Trust me I know exactly how you feel x 10.  Hope everything works out.

Post # 7
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sorry just need to vent: my husband’s exwife litterly has to text or email him every time her butt itches

Haha, sorry that made me laugh. I assume they do not have kids together? How long ago was the divorce? How old is she?

Is this a situation where you just find her calls annoying, or do you feel threatened? How do you know he never mentions you? I wouldn’t be too concerned about that anyways- guys just don’t communicate the way women do. If the ex doesn’t ask a direct question about you he probably feels awkward bringing you up.

Post # 8
11734 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeahhhh she has issues and there are some boundary issues going on here.  He needs to cut her off – it’s not helping her move on and get her life together and it’s surely not helping his relationship with you.

Honestly, if they odn’t have children together I don’t even see why they need to be in contact still. 

The topic ‘ex wives: vent’ is closed to new replies.

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