Encore Bride, Older Bee here
Truthfully this is all a case of genetics.
When we are younger (which most Bees here are… in their 20s & 30s) physical appearance is more important than as we age
The reason is, we are hard-wired as humans to seek out healthy individuals to reproduce with… this is why men naturally “prefer” women with long healthy hair, a good body-mass-index (waist to hip ratio) and well developed boobs.
The younger the man, at that point in their lives… it is less about the “content” of the woman’s head, and more about her physical appearance (which also explains WHY men are visual creatures sexually). All of the above elements meant that a woman was usually healthy reproductively, and babies (and her in childbirth) had a greater chance of survival.
Not to say us women are imune either. We are also out biologically looking for men who are tall, athletic, and in good shape. (All elements that historically meant that a man could work hard, care and provide for his woman and offspring… including fight off wild animals or other foes)
Women, however tend to have another feature that comes into play a lot earlier than it does for men.
We also value what goes on in a guys head (lol, the one upstairs). As we realize that being able to be more than just braun is important. A guy who can think well can make determinations that are good for her, and her family’s well being.
And a man who is also a thinker, typically is the guy who also is more trustworthy in a relationship cause he’s come to realize what is and isn’t important in life thru life’s lessons he’s learned personally or heard / been taught about.
The sad thing is, that young people still have to many times figure all this nature stuff out for themselves (puberty – 20s – and beyond) … and go thru exactly the same life lessons that every other generation before them has experienced.
Which is exactly why here on WBee on the EMOTIONAL BOARDS you’ll find women (either young women, or women who are in “transition” dealing with imature men and how badly they are treated by them. Women who are head over heels in love with someone who isn’t necessarily the same with them. Men who they don’t deserve. Because sadly they hooked up at a less mature / all animalistic stage in their lives)
Lol, now by the time one gets to my age and that of Mr TTR
We see life a bit differently.
Sure we still want a guy or gal who looks great … healthy for their age.
BUT we’ve also come to realize that physical appearance and “the body” is just a pod in which the rest of the person lives. What goes on inside one’s head & heart is the MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENT … and what is the key factor in a relationship.
And that makes a lot of sense really… as our sexual reproductive cycle is indeed greatest before 50… lol, actually it is greatest in our teens & 20s, right about the time, when we are most body focussed, and our brains tend to be “checked out” of the equation for many folks.
Mr TTR and I are far from a “beautiful couple” on the outside… as we are far past our prime now. So you won’t find us on any magazine covers (lol, you won’t even find our Wedding Pics here on WBee)
BUT what we lack in outer beauty, we certainly make up for on in inner beauty, and common sense.
Mr TTR has outright told me that he believes that a RICHER TRUER LOVE happens for couples after 50 (be they NEW Couples, or those that have been together forever…).
Because we are older and truly do appreciate what it is we have… and how fleeting it can be (certainly true for the 2 of us).
We have a lot of friends in theirs 60s and 70s who have been married, 30, 40, 50+ years, and they are so incredibly in-tune with one another… and very sweet to one another. And I think this comes from the appreciation for what they have together, and the life they have shared… hardship, kids, grandkids… and the knowledge that life is precious, and “their time” remaining as a couple is limited
Before 50, and Mr TTR says there is oftentimes waaaay too much LUST in the equation sometimes for one’s own good.
And hence why couples can take things for granted… and guys (or gals) can have their heads turned by another… and get into an affair, or leave their marriage
They have somehow “forgotten” the loving emmotional (head stuff) that went on in their relationship that took from JUST LOVERS to being in a Committed Relationship / Engaged / Married.
Infact he told me a story once about how when he was a younger man, he was a bit of a bad boy and liked to chase all the pretty girls… hoping to “hook up with them”… he admits he was a LUST driven guy in his teens & 20s. Sad thing is he got too serious / enagaged / married to a few of them as well… so smitten he was by their good looks. Of course none of that worked out… and he would always end up heartbroken. And back in the game.
This time round, with me and being older… he wasn’t really looking for marriage again (like myself, coming off of a long term 20+ marriage / horrid divorce)… he was looking for friendship / companionship. We were friends before we were dating… having met thru mutual friends. And our friendship was easy… and I wanted to take things slow… infact I didnt’ think I wanted to date at all, let alone ever marry again.
So things developed over time. And eventually we dated, became lovers, moved in together… and at 7+ years we got married.
Funny thing is, I am no beauty queen. Infact, I don’t look anything like any of the women who he previously was with whatsoever.
But he’ll tell you I am the SEXIEST woman he’s ever know… as we are always on the same wave length. As he fell in love with my HEAD & HEART first. He admits he is most attracted to me because I LOVE HIM 100% ENTIRELY … something that he treasures… something he is pretty certain no one else has ever done. I LOVE HIM, HE LOVES ME… and most importantly we TRUST each other.
This is a Relationship / Marriage that is woven together in a tight intricate, beautiful pattern.
And just so as to waylay anyones ideas about middle age…
It is still very much “game on” in the bedroom as well. Sexy is most definitely being with someone you LOVE TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH… doesn’t matter your age or shape (or theirs).
As they say good sex truly happens in your brain (and your heart) more than it ever does with your body !!
Hope this helps,