(Closed) Exactly how much [email protected]#& is she going to put me through?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 96
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@1stRosie:  You told us that she was paying for the shoes, and then expected us to know that you paid for them without even a mention of reimbursment (oh no!)?? 

I know I only read this thread so I can only speak to what is on this thread, not any past events.

 

Can you post a picture of a dress, or something similar? There is a bra out there for you, there always is. Your breasts don’t need to be “flopping everywhere” to prove a point.

Post # 97
Member
9947 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi

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@1stRosie:  In Reply # 68 you said…

This Time Round:  for the record, if the Bride paid for my hotel accomodations while at her wedding and the the shoes/hair costs, I wouldnt complain in the slightest.

See, there you have it.  Proves out every time… IF folks would educate themselves about the proper Etiquette and FOLLOW IT… things would run a lot smoother for everyone involved.

Not 100% saying I’d call this Bride a Bridezilla (but then I’m not in the Bridal Party like you are)… but I can say I understand the frustration you are having with dealing with her… and hence the need to VENT here on WBee.

On the bright side…

Well, at least you know what is expected of you for your own Wedding, so hopefully all this ridiculous “Being a Maid” Drama / Trauma won’t affect your own Wedding.

Lol, and it does sound like there needs to be one Wedding in your circle of friends that could come off as an example of HOW THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK… vs WHAT NOT TO DO !!

 

Post # 100
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@1stRosie:  That is a tough one. How much is it to have cups sewn in? Though that does sound really uncomfortable. 

 

I like to think I have it hard with two bridesmaids who hate wearing dresses, but I would never put them in something they couldn’t wear a bra with. That’s asking for trouble. 

Post # 101
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@1stRosie:  I read all your replies and I feel sorry for both of you guys. I think one thing led to another and now you are both bitter and angry towards each other trying to make it to the finish line. I am sure after all this is said and done you will look back at this and laugh at how melodramatic you were both being. 

Now, on to more important things: support. 

What about this kind of bra?? VS has a few versions. πŸ™‚ 

Post # 104
Member
2645 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@1stRosie:  Navy & coral are actually two of my favorite colors together right now.  I love the combo.  I would personally let her call the shots.  This is afterall her wedding.  Heck, she’s even buying the shoes.  I honestly can’t think of a reason to complain if someone else is buying the shoes.  Especially in a color that is definitely in trend right now.  Regarding the dress, how many bridesmaids is she having?  I think it’s virtually impossible to buy a dress that in someway isn’t going to expose the flaw that each individual bridesmaid think she has.  In the end, she probably just picked a dress she liked, which she has the right to…since it’s her wedding.

Post # 105
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you feel as though you’ll never be friends with her again, why didn’t you cut your losses before it became too late? Now, it seems like you kinda have to be in her wedding because it’s getting close and she’s already bought things. It sucks that you have to fork out so much money, unfortunately, it’s not something you always know ahead of accepting the position as a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I don’t wanna say “oh just suck it up and move on” but at this point, you kinda have to πŸ™

Post # 108
Member
2211 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@1stRosie:  Yeah, I’d agree that’s probably what would happen.  You’d have to have a dress with a pretty fitted bodice for sew-in cups to be effective…this bodice is not contoured enough for that to work.  You might be able to find a long line bra with a low back that will work, too.  Those stick on cups don’t seem very supportive or comfortable to me.

Post # 110
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Every time you’ve talked about this friend and her wedding, you’ve started out by saying “I’m basically eloping, easy on everyone”. 

You seem to be applying your standards and decisions to her wedding.  As if because you asked for none of what she’s asking for, she has no right to ask either.

I do think some of the costs you’ve been asked to pay are steep– but it sounds like YOU offered to go to Miami.  She offered to help cover the costs of the bachelorette party for you (perhaps rightfully so, since they were high).  Now she’s offering to buy you shoes.

And no, she doesn’t have to change her plans just because you are also getting married.

Take a deep breath.  Either wear the dress and the shoes and stand up there behind her in support and friendship  or tell her that you can’t.  She is not out to get you.  She is not doing this *to* you.  She is planning her own wedding in her own way and managing the thoughts and expectations of MANY people, including her and her fiance. 

I’m sorry if it isn’t matching your expectations, but you have a choice here.  You can participate in the wedding in the manner you are asked, or you can not.

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