(Closed) Exboyfriend got married

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Confuscious10:  The focus of your post appears to be his behavior.  I suggest ignoring his behavior completely and focusing on your own.  You slept with an engaged man, knowingly, and repeatedly.  You need some serious self-reflection to determine the kind of woman you want to be.  You can’t possibly enter into a positive relationship until you’ve taken that step.  Best of luck to you.

Post # 48
Member
2624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Confuscious10:  Girl run like hell!!! He’s clearly lying to you and stringing you along because you allow him to. Know that you are worth more than what he’s giving you and move on with your life. Oh, and HE’S MARRIED the most important reason you should drop it.

Post # 49
Member
3230 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I still don’t think you’re quite getting it…

 

Him stringing you along these last few weeks is the least of his faults. Why would you WANT this scum in your life? Why would you give him the chance to string you along by texting him, talking to him, going to his home? Are you serious? He is a cheater, a liar, a manipulator. There is nothing good about this man. And I think you have a few flaws yourself.  Why would you sleep with a man two weeks from getting married? Why are you still friends with him on FB?  Why is his number in your phone? Why why why? 

 

You dodged a bullet with this one. Be thankful you’re not his wife and be a decent human being toward the woman who IS his wife (and probably will be for awhile – men like this don’t tend to divorce the mean ol women who are “causing them so much sorrow”) by not talking to or seeing him any more. 

 

Sorry, I don’t feel bad for him and I don’t feel bad for you.  But his poor wife and kids on the other hand…

 

Post # 50
Member
10355 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is obviously a toxic person who needs to be cut out of your life – completely and without question – immediately.

Post # 51
Member
2346 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

i quit reading after the first time u mentioned “he was cheating on me.” 

who cares if he gets married and to who. and y on earth would u be wanting to get back together with him, EVER?

i couldnt care less who my cheating ex-boyfriends r married to. except i feel sorry for the women that they dont know the real person theyre married to. maybe the guys have changed, maybe they havent but i dont give a flip about their cheating asses anymore.

Post # 52
Member
9076 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Anyone who cheats on someone for you is going to cheat on you. You already helped him cheat on his wife. I’d cut all ties and ignore him for good. Block on facebook, block and delete his phone number. Avoid at all costs.

Post # 53
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m sorry but you need to block any contact from him & move the fuck on. Good people don’t string their fiance along their entire engagement while sleeping with and stringing along someone else. I’m wondering if the only reason he contacted you & is wanting a divorce is because his poor wife found out about it all. This is not a good or faithful man, he is obviously not ready for marraige or really anything other than playing the field. If you want to keep contact with him be prepared in a few months/years to be in the same position his poor fiance & now wife is in while he cheats on you while stringing along someone else. No way would I EVER be interested in or stay in contact with someone who repeatedly cheated on their fiance, especially just two weeks before the wedding. Period. end of story. 

You need to really reflect on what you want out of your life- because I can pretty much guarantee this isn’t it…. 

 

Post # 54
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

He cheated on you with his now-wife, then cheated on her with you. You have had a hand in all of this. You have allowed him to string you along. No one is perfect; we all do really stupid things with men at times, but you have to realize that YOU helped create this situation. You should have done this already, but now for sure – go NO CONTACT permanently.

Post # 55
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
@badabing88:  +1000000

OP – By keeping him in your life (you still seem available to text/FB/etc.), YOU are actually inviting his BAD karma into your life. What exactly were you thinking when you were sleeping with a guy who you knew was engaged? Did you really think that he would just wake up, dump his fiancee now wife, and fall in love with you? Like BadaBing said, you need to spend time alone without this guy in your life to self-reflect. I’m not going to preach values, but the fact that you were so involved with a guy you knew was married definitely shows questionable character on your end. I hate to sound so harsh, but you wanted honesty on this board – you got it.

Post # 56
Member
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Change your number or block his number. No contact on facebook and conversations when you meet in the streets. He does not care about you at all, he is selfish and toxic.

You are blocking your own happiness by allowing this guy to stay in your life. Mr. Right can’t come into your life because he spot is blocked by this a**hole.

Post # 57
Member
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

CUT HIM OFF COMPLETELY! I know everyone has said this already but for your own good you need to get it through your head. Change your number. Ignore him when you see him. Cut him out of your life completely.

Do not look back. He lies, he cheats, he doesn’t respect you or other women, he will not change, and he will not make you happy. Ever.

Stay away from him. No texts. No phone calls. No emails. No IMs. No messages through friends. No dates. No conversations. No apologies. No small talk. No booty calls. No contact. Ever again.

Post # 58
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

It’s time to move on. He’s just playing you. I was with my ex for six years and we broke up when I found out he was cheating. Well he ended up engaged to this woman two months later. I was hurt in so many ways. Then he texts me and says he made a terrible mistake and he wants us to try to work things out. I was more than willing to give it a second try since I felt like I had wasted six years of my life and gotten nothing out of it. Long story short…I found out he not only was still engaged to this woman, but they were living together and she was pregnant with his child.

 

Don’t waste anymore of your life on that loser. It was very difficult for me to move on and I even had to block him from calling or texting me (he would still randomly call and text to tell me he missed me). I believe he didn’t want me and he didn’t want me to move on for anyone else to have me. I got back into church and fast forward to 1.5 years later and God has blessed me with a wonderful man. You have to cut off any ties you my have with this man in order to move on.

 

Post # 59
Member
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Walk away. Or run. Either way, STOP TALKING TO HIM.

He’s pulling your strings and you’re willingly dancing for him.

He cheated on you while you were together. He marries another woman but is completely disrespecting their relationship by talking to you. 

I know you miss him, but what do you think will happen if you continue playing this game with him? He’s gonna divorce his wife tomorrow, he’ll come right back to you, and be faithful to you and never talk to anyone else behind your back? Instead of passive aggressively emotionally manipulating you, he’ll magically become an honest and sincere communicator, and will be the perfect gentleman for you?

Please wake up. I’m not trying to be mean, but you laid out the details of this relationship, and based on the facts, none of the above will happen.

But I understand having a history with someone. If you just want closure, or whatever, kindly wait for him to officially divorce his wife. Whether he loves her or not, whether he’s ready to leave her or not, this woman doesn’t deserve to have you enabling him to emotionally cheat on her (it’s even doubtful there’s emotion involved in what he’s doing with you, though). I wouldn’t want that, and I doubt you would either.

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